Rapture Lost- An Abductee's Lament

Like a huge, hairy, clump of grease clogging the bathroom sink, this public confession has blocked my free flow of writing to this blog for over a month now.

I am an alien abductee, not your average abductee seen time and time again on the big screen. I am absolutely not a helpless victim.

Each night for me since I was old enough to remember, was a struggle. I would do all I could to stay up and not fall asleep like a victimized character in the movie Nightmare on Elm Street, I fought to not fall asleep because I knew that's when Freddy Krueger would come for me. Of course, I knew it wasn't Freddy but their presence in my room in the middle of the night scared me just the same.

It doesn't matter to me if my psychologist mom withholds ajudication regarding my reports of being visited by my otherworldly compadres or that others I tell snicker and secretly think I'm a little nuts. No more proof is necessary for me. The lessons are mine and are a rare gift. I've seen and touched too much to deny away my outlandish nightly journeys.

The problem is now for whatever reason, the visits have long subsided. I guess a mission has been accomplished. I guess their goal of creating a hybrid race with ours has been completed to their satisfaction. After so many years of this "bad romance" I am left yearning for more; missing their weekly presence in my nights and in my psyche. I miss when I would wake up in my bed and see dimensions unfolding before my eyes and the walls of my room undulate as if they were no longer solid. I miss being transformed into a million particles like TV boy from Willy Wonka and feel myself float upwards through my ceiling of my room. I miss the "teaching theater" where so many images were impressed upon me and seeing the genetically perfect hybrids communicating telepathically. I miss being inside their perfect ships with their greenhouses of frozen plants and animals from Earth and how they would come alive at the touch of my finger. I miss feeling my skin stimulated and hair stand on end by knowing they were watching me any where that I went at any given moment. Ahh those were the days.

I don't blame anyone for not believing because to believe it is to allow the biggest mindbend you have ever known, so big that all that you know of human history, religion and taught reality is obliterated, never to be tucked into it's neat little box ever again.

If you think the Evangelical "Ameri-bans" of the world are having a tough time with the whole gay issue, imagine the shit-storm that's gonna hit when we are contacted on a worldwide level. Those god fearin' folks arent going to know what to do with their creation stories they so fervently judge us by. What would happen to religion if people realize Adam and Eve was possibly just a lab experiment by higher life forms seeding this planet as a sort of conservatory for future use? What if "they" are just "us" from the future trying to prevent our own destruction.

What if Jesus wasn't we thought but just an alien with good intentions a' la Mother Teresa? What if the gods on Mount Olympus were just a bunch of folks with some really cool, techy gadgets weve never seen before? How can we suppose to know what's what out in the universe when we just discovered there was water on the moon (2009) and every year we find hundreds of plant and animal species on this planet we didn't even know existed? Our scientists don't even completely understand how our own brains function. Denying ET is out there is the equivalent of an Amazon tribe untouched by modern society suddenly meeting a scientist stepping down from a shiny new helicopter. They'd call him a God and be struck in awe with his magic as well.

A debunker can say these things happen to me because I need the stimulation and am bored with this life. I do need the stimulation and am eternally thankful to be saved from a life of boredom through my trips with them. The same can be said for the millions that believe in a Christ figure they've never seen because they need to. No one has actually found hard evidence of Christ's body yet so many millions still believe. Year after year, there are countless reports of people, pilots, military and police officers from all corners of our globe sighting strange crafts in the sky and there are still so many like me in the closet, afraid of ridicule if they were ever to "come out" with their secret.

There are many who believe that the whole Christ story was copied from other figures to corral and manage the masses. Google these ancient gods; Horus, Mithra, Buddha, Krishna and you will find that they all came before Jesus and they all have uncanny resemblances to the whole Jesus story; virgin birth, born on December 25th, 12 disciples, resurrection, the similarities are so many that blatant plagiarism comes to mind.

We're all just freckles on God's ass and we keep thinking were not only the center of it all but that were all that's out there. Whether you believe in my abductions or not is irrelevant. Like Obama says about our nation's health care, "it isn't about me", there is intelligent life out there and sooner or later we're going to have to deal with that test and the re-examination of our belief systems that inevitably will go along with that historic and much anticipated open worldwide contact. Hopefully, they'll get here before we cook ourselves to death with our addiction to fossil fuels and hesitant dinosaur-esque resistance to change.

I continue to miss the mind-fuck that is. Like a lover that hurts you but you can't get enough of because you know in some way the pain is teaching you something. Lady Gaga coins it perfectly, "you and me can write a bad romance". I guess I have a bad romance with my alien abductors. I am more bored than afrain and I just wanna take a ride....somewhere far out into the unknown. 

In the words of Greg Sandow, "We're dealing with giant questions, questions that challenge our understanding of who we are and where we fit in the universe. Worse still, we can't even imagine the limits of any possible answers. Does that leave us helpless? It shouldn't -- in fact, it can't, if we ever expect to know where we stand. We just have to keep our wits about us, weigh the evidence very carefully -- and agree in advance not to rule anything out."

After more than 35 years and so many extraordinary experiences, lessons and sleepless nights, I'm years past caring if anyone believes me or the repurcussions of this confession. Rather I am more concerned on the continual denial and secrecy revolving this part of our history by various governments all over the planet. This "coming out" is just as important as any other. The discussion needs to be had, our minds must conceptualize more.

I am confident that in our lifetimes, a time will come where everyone will know the truth and the lies will no longer imprison so many. That truth will neutralize and render meaningless all the divisive belief systems of this planet. It will be the single-most unifying event for the human race on this planet and man will be forever improved for it. We need their technology now before we destroy ourselves. Open contact with intelligent life is the missing link that could liberate and catapult humanity from fossil fuel addiction, poverty, resource wars and religious fueled conflicts as well as the war on terrorism. Contact on a global level will not happen until we want it to, until we are ready to receive them.

In a seemingly pre-emptive stance of something to come, the Vatican debates and admits that it is not outside of god's realm for intelligent life to be out there. 11/11/2009. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/33864136#33864136

Abductee support group in New England. http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=8330290

Evidence of Alien-Human hybridization- Starchild skull information: http://www.youtube.com/officiallloydpye

To report any sightings or experiences contact MUFON: http://www.mufon.com/

A good site for more information on abduction experience:
http://www.crystalinks.com/abduction.html

Pope VS. Shaman- Where Will You Find Enlightenment Today?

Any priest in the Catholic Church must either be a self-hating homosexual or someone with some serious issues with their sexuality. Why else would any healthy, straight and invariably horny man give up a life of sexual pleasure with loved ones to lock himself up with other men wearing robes that look a lot like dresses? There is no exact figure of the number of gay clergy but estimates vary anywhere from 25 percent to 50 percent, according to a review by the Rev. Donald Cozzens, author of "The Changing Face of the Priesthood.". I theorize that it is very close to 100% but how many priests and clergy are willing to admit it? Abstinence in theory is one of the most miserably failed tenets the church has ever created. The hundreds of lawsuits and payoffs by the church to victims of sexual abuse are proof that you cannot stop human desire and when you repress it, it rears it's ugly head in any way it can. The belief is that abstaining from sex makes you more spiritual has no basis in fact. There is no research to support this tenet. If you look at some of the world's earliest religions that predate the church, abstinence as a concept never existed. American Indian Shaman had same-sex "berdaches" that would attend to the Teepee and the sexual needs of the shaman. They were the shamans same-sex husbands and they were oftentimes initiates and above all they were revered by their tribe. Buddhist high priest are not forbidden from enjoying sexual relations. I have had momentous, spiritual experiences in my life and they had nothing to do with whether I got laid the night before. It boils down to one simple fact; human beings need love to survive. Just like Tom Hanks in Survivor who fell in love with a soccer ball named "Wilson". Inevitably our human form takes over whatever spiritual intention was set in motion and we crack. We need physical touch and love, being in love with the almighty or whomever\whatever doesn't remove us from our bodies permanently. Hasidic Jewish communities have high rates of STD's among ultra religious marriages because the husbands go out and hire prostitutes on the "Down Low". Sex, however dirty your religion may perceive it, is as necessary for our survival as that apple a day. Scientific studies have even shown that the more times per week a study subject had sex, the longer their lives were.

So it is a surprise to hear that there is rampant sex in Catholic seminaries where priests are trained to be priests? (see article link below) The church's rush to stop gap the ever increasing priest shortage has forced them to ordain these priests quicker than ever and lower their standards. These young men who will be the world's spiritual leaders are just as horny as any other young buck out there, if not more because these bucks know from here on out, it's curtains down there, at least in theory.

In early native America hundreds of years ago homosexuals, transgendered, etc. were all bundled together under revered terms of berdache or shaman. Their function was of a different path than warrior or wife or hunter. They were the revered spiritual leaders and healers for each tribe. They were the connection to the spiritual world and other dimensions and they were GAY.

Fast forward to 2009, these cross-dressing "tribal doctors" are still around today. in fact the Vatican is full of them. One visit to a Barcelona cathedral museum smacked me in the face with that reality. Walking through the ever-so-boring museum and entered into the room where all the religious robes (costumes) were kept. There were red silk conical bishop hats with gold threading, orange long robes with embroidered arm panels that dragged elegantly to the floor, purple scarves with gaudy gold thread decoration. I said to myself, "A drag queen would have a field day in this room". How did a humble Jesus dressed in rags, teaching tolerance and universal love to all men get turned into a bunch of closeted gay men in ridiculously superfluous and luxurious drag costumes to spread his teachings to the Catholic world? If you really want to teach his lessons you would emulate him and his message in every way and wear the rags of a poor man certainly not the pomp and pompousness of the drag queens running rampant in the Vatican. Buddhist priests are prime examples of a spiritual leader properly following the teachings of their prophet.

This George-Bush-of-a-pope dressed up as a spiritual leader has done nothing to progress the spiritual enlightenment or awakening of his followers. He first attacked muslims, then atheists, then made more hateful than normal statements reinstating that homosexuality will cause the destruction of the modern world. He then put the cherry on the bullcrappy sundae and pissed off a world full of Jewish people by re-hiring a bishop that denied Jews died by gassing in the holocaust giving a crazy figure of 200-300,000 of the total killed in the holocaust versus the 6 million that were actually killed. A bishop that shortly after apologized for hurting people with his comments but never retracted them. Pope Rat-zinger demanded he apologize weeks later after the world was in an uproar over the news but the bishop never did retract and the Pope did nothing to discipline his returning prodigal son.

Is the Vatican playing a sick joke on humanity in testing us how much hate it can spew out before somebody just goes AWOL and goes 9-11 on them? Maybe it's a taunt so they can justify a new holy war like Bush did? Is it all a na-na-nanny-boo-boo by Pope Benedict? Is this behavior of someone that is supposed to lead the civilized world towards spiritual growth? At least John Paul tried played nice and tried to bring the world together, teaching forgiveness. This one only seems to be capable of medieval hate mongering.

Like the Shaman of yore, Homosexuals are a people connected and in tuned to our spirit because we are on a separate journey, with it's unique lessons. Childbirth and rearing are not necessarily where we find our teachings in this life. We are a gay tribe with our leaders conveniently eliminated by AIDS. It is time that our spiritual leaders come out from the shadows (closet) and depose the false prophets that hide behind the many colored robes of the Catholic Church. We can add to the diaspora of belief in this world, giving it one more intense color.

Great Britian's Tony Blair is recently quoted as calling for a revolution in thinking in the Church and has criticized this pope for being out of touch with his congregation worldwide. Blair says, "There are many good and great things the Catholic Church does, and there are many fantastic things this Pope stands for, but I think what is interesting is that if you went into any Catholic Church, particularly a well attended one, on any Sunday here and did a poll of the congregation, you’d be surprised at how liberal-minded people were." A generational shift has occurred, a cycle is ending worldwide. The next generation coming is tired and uninterested in the old, failed battles of previous ones. They are hungry for spiritual knowledge and if the church doesn't serve it to them, they will seek it elsewhere. When I was growing up in Miami in the 80's, you would be hard pressed to find one center that had Yoga classes. Today, there are centers even in the most suburban of areas. Not to say that Yoga is a replacement for religion but it is a beginning point and for many is their preferred "church". Newsweek's April 13, 2009 issue runs a cover image of a cross outlined by the words, "The Decline and Fall of Christian America". Obama's win over the faith-aligned Republicans sealed the fate of the extremists in the country that many doubt will ever be able to regained. The church is finally becoming separated from the state as our country's founders intended. "The percentage of self-identified Christians has fallen 10 points in the past two decades." (John Meacham, Newsweek) The decline of the church is a fact not theory. Question is how long can the church afford to ignore it? Do they impeach this curmudgeon before he brings about it's downfall like George W. Bush almost was?

Fast forward 20 years to 2029, we may see a day where the Vatican is no more. We may live to see a day where the Vatican leaders choose to dismantle it's own headquaters to prove to the world it is shedding it's old self and moving towards a newfound mission and vision. It could sell it's melted down gold to aid 3rd world countries and plant a huge forest in the middle of Rome, replacing the gargantuan statues that have so little to do with Jesus Christ's humble message. This new found forest would be a new spiritual United Nations location for all of the religious tribes of the world could come together to trance-dance away any differences in the warmth of a fire, bathed in the moonlight of a blue moon. A new unified and fully inclusive tradition would replace the crusty, old and irrelevant church of today. I don't doubt that Muslims, Jews, Sufis, Hindus, buddhists, Atheists and yes, us Gays would come to dance at that global party!

There is some hope for its survival. There are signs of factions of moderates within these conservative religions working against the tide of extremism and conservatism to modernize the message of the church to a more inclusive one. Facebook has several religious groups that have popped up supporting gay rights. (see link below) The group is such an idiosyncracy that Facebook'ers sympathetic to the gay rights movement have left negative comments not realizing that the group is Pro-marriage equality and not the common trend among Catholics to be against it. The group is called Christians For Gay Equality (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=33840595913&ref=ts) and it is ray of light and hope that yes, the church can reform itself from the inside. It seems that the only way will be not by the elitist stronghold of holy, self- hating, closeted homosexuals running the Vatican but by the members of the Catholic Church that no longer want to be told what is right and wrong. The faithful that finally will take a stand to see God for themselves, without the help of a priest. Republicans are starting to realize their moral holy war must be given up and are now trying to redefine themselves as a party before facing complete extinction. Even the Rush Limbaugh dinosaur cannot roar loudly enough to save that party. One pioneering reformist is ironically the daughter of John McCain; the poster boy of when you go too far to show people how Catholic you are, no longer works for you in this country. Meghan McCain is leading a new movement from within the ranks of the staunch, unbending and never yielding Republican mentality to a more moderate party where acceptance of gay marriage is not a problem, among other things. She wants to go further than just making the party sound inclusive. This thoroughly modern McCain wants her party to actually change and be inclusive, not just talk the talk. Wouldn't she be a wonderful replacement to the wicked witch of the east; Ann Coulter's rhetoric.



Homosexuals are a tribe that no longer finds the path of least resistance the wisest one. We are ready to push beyond our reservations in the big cities (LA, NY, MIA, SAN FRAN) and lay claim to our role in global politics. It's time we come out of our safe bubbles, grab our equality in this civilization and maybe lead again as spiritual leaders replacing the outdated, restrictive and divisive religions of this world with one world spirituality. It is happening already - the number of Americans who don't identify with any religion has risen to 15% from 8% in 1990.

I come from a family where my grandmother who was fiercely Catholic had a sister that became a nun after witnessing a vision of the Virgin Mary in her small town in Cuba. I was raised in a Catholic household, went to a Catholic all boys high school was confirmed and even did the Jesus life and death tour in Israel. So I can say with absolute certainty that I have found more spiritual enlightenment under the moonlight than under any church dome.

The awakening will continue, the churches will continue to empty and be less relevant. When you find yourselves looking for some elightenment, look to the Native American Shaman, Buddhism, Kundalini, Kabbalah, Yoga, wherever. The most important thing is that you look for the truth yourself because this leader isn't helping.

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Gay sex in Catholic seminaries decreased but still ongoing:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28677174/

Shortage of Priests in Seminaries:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bal-op.rodricks22oct22,0,6398710.कालम

Newsweek's story on the decline of Christian America:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/192583

Meghan McCain's shining new path for her beleaguered party:

http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2009/04/13/meghan-mccain-we-need-more-gay-republicans/

Pope reinstates member of extreme traditionalist sect (St. Pius X) previously excommunicated by Pope John Paul:http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/world/europe/25pope.html?hp

Pope's feeble attempt to curb worldwide furor over the Bishop's stance:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/4514628/Pope-demands-Holocaust-denier-retract-his-views.html

Beautiful speech by oscar winner for MILK movie denouncing church stance against gays:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfPXcCroPJc

Pope inciting more hatred and violence against homosexuals:http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2008/dec/28/papal-denunciation/

More americans claim they have no religion now at 15% increase from 8% in 1990: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29585222/?GT1=43001

Anthropological historical facts regarding roles of gay American Indians as Spiritual leaders of tribes: http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~culture/medicine.htm

More on shamanism: http://books.google.com/books?id=Z_ThIx97yw8C&pg=PA74&lpg=PA74&dq=gay+american+indian+shaman&source=web&ots=PxMSHrMrv2&sig=QhaMICnafYitiOmRXm6L9bPlgOw&hl=en&ei=rh2fSf2sEMH7tgf_6oyfDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=10&ct=result#PPA80,M1

The honorable role of Shaman in native america:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.diamondlady.net/starmaiden_globe.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.diamondlady.net/shamanism.html&usg=__90CitMu_TFMfLwL_y_N3k3LmHws=&h=332&w=339&sz=65&hl=en&start=22&um=1&tbnid=F2iSZSYuCnmoWM:&tbnh=117&tbnw=119&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dshaman%2Bnative%2Bamerican%26start%3D21%26ndsp%3D21%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

Pope's divisive speech:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00106/pg-06-Pope-AFP-Gett_106606t.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/meditation-on-gender-lands-pope-in-hot-water-1210064.html&usg=__D5JeaqVkuqXpQBnUQbjlrBzRO7M=&h=424&w=300&sz=23&hl=en&start=89&tbnid=-t-dqTzeKxFxuM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=89&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcardinals%2Bvatican%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D21%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26start%3D84

Homosexuality and Buddhism:http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_budd.htm