Alone and Alright

If, for just one day, to feel a moment of love; a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs,....it would be all worth the ride, even if it were a short one.

This lonely boy is right where he wants to be, finding solace in solitude, relying on myself and aiming my eyes to nature for comfort. No one at my side to hurt me, disregard my feelings, under-appreciate or fight with me about petty character flaws. I have no regrets for this or any of the other countless heartbreaks my adventures in finding love have taken me to. This, a new-found, self-imposed asexuality of sorts.

I'm fulfilled by faithful "mister handy", my new MAC Powerbook and my body pillow at night...sheltered and quarantined from psychological traumas, overactive egos, self-centered queens unable to love and STD's, of course. There is unsurprisingly zero drama when I am not partnered up. I have more time to dedicate myself to my career, hoarding my nuts for the winter and spending quality time teaching my nephew the subtle differences in the sounds of crickets, frogs and birds in the wild.

My heart, locked away in its gilded cage, it's sweet disposition maintained, still supple, alive and well, not yet embittered or hardened by life's knocks and heartbreaks. I remain, open to love's magic, curveball-surprise that can change your life forever.

Yet, I am stripped of any effort or desire to seek out a new challenge. He will have to seek me out or at least it will have to happen organically. I fantasize, visualizing a faceless human with a heart larger than mine and capacity for loyalty that finally matches my own. He may never materialize or even exist but imagining him makes me feel hopeful that he does, somewhere, out there, in this big-bubble of 6 billion people. Until then, I will be thankful to be alive, well, surrounded by loved ones and not stuck in a relationship with someone that is totally wrong for me.

My heartbroken friend confesses over the phone, "I need to be more of an asswhole.". I disagree and tell him the world has plenty of asswholes already, "You stay just the way you are and work on being a better man-You do you."

For now, that's what I will do as well. I'll "do me" and work to improve my relationship...with my-self.

"I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."- Henry David Thoreau

Padre Alberto's Truth- You Decide?

I've always believed there are no coincidences in life. This latest scandal from Miami is another confirmation of that belief. 3 weeks ago I blogged about how the church's stance on requiring celibacy of it's priests was an outdated discipline that's time has come to end and serendipitously comes a pretty huge scandal involving one of it's brightest stars, Father Albert Cutie' of breaking his vow of celibacy. Undoubtedly, an asset to the church and a liasion bringing younger generations of followers to this antiquated religious belief system with his fresh candor, relevant sermons and pure passion to bring God into people's lives. No one can ever take away his passion and the good that he has done in making the church seem a lot more friendly and a lot less confined and stale to contemporary-minded Americans.

This pastor to his small church of St. Francis on 6th and Alton on Miami Beach has touched millions with his message and mission through his best selling books, talk and radio show as well as weekly editorial for the Miami Herald. He has earned his credibility and celebrity status. With the looks of an actor you would think the church purposely casted him in this role as a good PR move, this Father Cutie' is a cutie and the Church's best assets today.

Still, this breaking news and salacious story of his love affair with a woman just doesn't jive with what I know this man to be. An intelligent, measured, dignified and very astute man would never get caught en flagrante over a period of 3 days no less doing something that he was fully aware would get him fired from the church he loves so dearly. A church he has devoted his entire life to promoting and defending. Unless it was a deliberate plea to become accepted by the Holy Father or a desperate plea to hide something more damaging? There have been rumors circulating on South Beach that the real reason was that he was in a long term relationship with a man and that it was coming to a head after said man threatened to blackmail him with threats of going to the media with evidence of their relationshiop. This may have been the Father's desperate attempt to beat the whistle blower to the pass and diffuse any possibility to defame him in the eyes of the church and the world even further. Regardless of motive, this is another blaring example of the church's inability to evolve with the times and proof of it's decreasing relevance to contemporary human beings. Neither heterosexual nor homosexual affairs should be causes to bring down a man that has done so much and brought so many to a church that is every day becoming more and more of an endangered species.

A professor at FIU and friend of Father Albert Cutie' for years, Uva de Aragon, was quoted "Frankly, this was not very smart, flouting what you are doing. Did he want to get caught?" If he did want to protest the church's policy on celibacy, he would've done it in a more dignified and self-respecting manner by publically resigning with a statement protesting the church's policy. Instead he was photographed and busted. Immediately after the photos' were publicized in TVnotas, the Archdiocese of Miami announced on Tuesday that Father Cutié, was suspended from preaching at St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church, he also lost his gig hosting his show on Pax Catholic Communications.

Father Albert told Hispanic Magazine in 2007 "I'm not the priest for the regular Catholic crowd," "I made that decision a long time ago. I'm the priest for the lost sheep. Which is why I do the media thing and the press thing and the book thing."-Thats' fine and dandy but then why would you knowingly get caught over a period of 3 days with public displays of affection with a woman on the beach that you preach in that is about 5 square miles? Couldn't he have taken a trip to Croatia or somewhere else obscure? That is way too below his level of intelligence. Unless it was an orchestrated spin-doctoring of his own to avoid a much larger one.

After being placed on leave he has reportedly been sent by Archbishop of Miami John C. Favalora to an undisclosed location to pray and reflect upon his fall from grace. The latest "story" from the church now is that he decided to take a leave of absence to reflect on his situation. It's no wonder Republicans are so adept at spin doctoring situations to fit their needs. They perfected their craft learning by example at mass every Sunday.

Like the ever so enigmatic message by Gaudi' engraved on the entrance doors of the Cathedral La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, "Que es la verita'?". When will the Church come clean and finally tell us the truth? Here's your chance Mr. Pope Benedict to prove to the world that you aren't going to extinguish yourselves in your stubborness from evolving. Shed this farce of a policy that has led to so much scandal and pain. It would be a small start.

Hey and if Father Albert doesn't get reinstated, he can always preach at an Episcopalian church. They have no celibacy restrictions.

History of Celibacy in the Catholic Church

• Peter, the first pope, and the apostles that Jesus chose were, for the most part, married men. The New Testament implies that women presided at eucharistic meals in the early church.


• Eleventh Century-1045-Pope Boniface IX dispensed himself from celibacy and resigned in order to marry.


• 1074-Pope Gregory VII said anyone to be ordained must first pledge celibacy: ‘priests [must] first escape from the clutches of their wives.’


• 1095-Pope Urban II had priests’ wives sold into slavery, children were abandoned.


• The Roman Catholic church has left the policy or "discipline" virtually unchanged for the past 900 years, saying it allows for a dedication to God and the church without distraction.

Popes who were married

1. St. Peter, ApostleSt. Felix III 483-492 (2 children)


2. St. Hormidas 514-523 (1 son)


3. St. Silverus (Antonia) 536-537


4. Hadrian II 867-872 (1 daughter)


5. Clement IV 1265-1268 (2 daughters)


6. Felix V 1439-1449 (1 son)

Impassioned apology from Father Albert Cutie's website: http://www.padrealberto.net/

STATEMENT FROM FATHER ALBERT CUTIÉ
Before God - full of love and mercy - I ask for the forgiveness of those who may be hurt or saddened by my actions. Since I entered the seminary at the age of 18, the priesthood has brought me great joy. The commitment that I made to serve God will remain intact. I am grateful for the love and support I have received today from so many in our community, especially my parishioners and the supporters of the radio stations who have demonstrated great compassion and understanding toward me as a human being. I ask for your continued prayers and support.
Father Albert Cutié

Story of celebrity Priest punished for being in love: http://www.miamiherald.com/459/story/1033259.html

Fascinating blog on Archbishop Milingo's crusade to end the church's celibacy policy:http://fatherjoe.wordpress.com/2006/07/13/archbishop-milingo-schism-over-married-priests/

How Milingo's brief marriage mysteriously ended after the Pope personally visited him: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/2482321.stm

Palm Beach news story of Father Albert's stance on the matter: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/state/content/state/epaper/2009/05/07/0507priestfuture.html

Pope upholds centuries old policy of celibacy in 2007: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,258442,00.html

History of Celibacy in the church: http://www.futurechurch.org/fpm/history.htm

Another bloggers entry regarding the scandal:
http://elcabezadepuerco.wordpress.com/2009/05/05/y-esta-alberto-el-cura/

Pope VS. Shaman- Where Will You Find Enlightenment Today?

Any priest in the Catholic Church must either be a self-hating homosexual or someone with some serious issues with their sexuality. Why else would any healthy, straight and invariably horny man give up a life of sexual pleasure with loved ones to lock himself up with other men wearing robes that look a lot like dresses? There is no exact figure of the number of gay clergy but estimates vary anywhere from 25 percent to 50 percent, according to a review by the Rev. Donald Cozzens, author of "The Changing Face of the Priesthood.". I theorize that it is very close to 100% but how many priests and clergy are willing to admit it? Abstinence in theory is one of the most miserably failed tenets the church has ever created. The hundreds of lawsuits and payoffs by the church to victims of sexual abuse are proof that you cannot stop human desire and when you repress it, it rears it's ugly head in any way it can. The belief is that abstaining from sex makes you more spiritual has no basis in fact. There is no research to support this tenet. If you look at some of the world's earliest religions that predate the church, abstinence as a concept never existed. American Indian Shaman had same-sex "berdaches" that would attend to the Teepee and the sexual needs of the shaman. They were the shamans same-sex husbands and they were oftentimes initiates and above all they were revered by their tribe. Buddhist high priest are not forbidden from enjoying sexual relations. I have had momentous, spiritual experiences in my life and they had nothing to do with whether I got laid the night before. It boils down to one simple fact; human beings need love to survive. Just like Tom Hanks in Survivor who fell in love with a soccer ball named "Wilson". Inevitably our human form takes over whatever spiritual intention was set in motion and we crack. We need physical touch and love, being in love with the almighty or whomever\whatever doesn't remove us from our bodies permanently. Hasidic Jewish communities have high rates of STD's among ultra religious marriages because the husbands go out and hire prostitutes on the "Down Low". Sex, however dirty your religion may perceive it, is as necessary for our survival as that apple a day. Scientific studies have even shown that the more times per week a study subject had sex, the longer their lives were.

So it is a surprise to hear that there is rampant sex in Catholic seminaries where priests are trained to be priests? (see article link below) The church's rush to stop gap the ever increasing priest shortage has forced them to ordain these priests quicker than ever and lower their standards. These young men who will be the world's spiritual leaders are just as horny as any other young buck out there, if not more because these bucks know from here on out, it's curtains down there, at least in theory.

In early native America hundreds of years ago homosexuals, transgendered, etc. were all bundled together under revered terms of berdache or shaman. Their function was of a different path than warrior or wife or hunter. They were the revered spiritual leaders and healers for each tribe. They were the connection to the spiritual world and other dimensions and they were GAY.

Fast forward to 2009, these cross-dressing "tribal doctors" are still around today. in fact the Vatican is full of them. One visit to a Barcelona cathedral museum smacked me in the face with that reality. Walking through the ever-so-boring museum and entered into the room where all the religious robes (costumes) were kept. There were red silk conical bishop hats with gold threading, orange long robes with embroidered arm panels that dragged elegantly to the floor, purple scarves with gaudy gold thread decoration. I said to myself, "A drag queen would have a field day in this room". How did a humble Jesus dressed in rags, teaching tolerance and universal love to all men get turned into a bunch of closeted gay men in ridiculously superfluous and luxurious drag costumes to spread his teachings to the Catholic world? If you really want to teach his lessons you would emulate him and his message in every way and wear the rags of a poor man certainly not the pomp and pompousness of the drag queens running rampant in the Vatican. Buddhist priests are prime examples of a spiritual leader properly following the teachings of their prophet.

This George-Bush-of-a-pope dressed up as a spiritual leader has done nothing to progress the spiritual enlightenment or awakening of his followers. He first attacked muslims, then atheists, then made more hateful than normal statements reinstating that homosexuality will cause the destruction of the modern world. He then put the cherry on the bullcrappy sundae and pissed off a world full of Jewish people by re-hiring a bishop that denied Jews died by gassing in the holocaust giving a crazy figure of 200-300,000 of the total killed in the holocaust versus the 6 million that were actually killed. A bishop that shortly after apologized for hurting people with his comments but never retracted them. Pope Rat-zinger demanded he apologize weeks later after the world was in an uproar over the news but the bishop never did retract and the Pope did nothing to discipline his returning prodigal son.

Is the Vatican playing a sick joke on humanity in testing us how much hate it can spew out before somebody just goes AWOL and goes 9-11 on them? Maybe it's a taunt so they can justify a new holy war like Bush did? Is it all a na-na-nanny-boo-boo by Pope Benedict? Is this behavior of someone that is supposed to lead the civilized world towards spiritual growth? At least John Paul tried played nice and tried to bring the world together, teaching forgiveness. This one only seems to be capable of medieval hate mongering.

Like the Shaman of yore, Homosexuals are a people connected and in tuned to our spirit because we are on a separate journey, with it's unique lessons. Childbirth and rearing are not necessarily where we find our teachings in this life. We are a gay tribe with our leaders conveniently eliminated by AIDS. It is time that our spiritual leaders come out from the shadows (closet) and depose the false prophets that hide behind the many colored robes of the Catholic Church. We can add to the diaspora of belief in this world, giving it one more intense color.

Great Britian's Tony Blair is recently quoted as calling for a revolution in thinking in the Church and has criticized this pope for being out of touch with his congregation worldwide. Blair says, "There are many good and great things the Catholic Church does, and there are many fantastic things this Pope stands for, but I think what is interesting is that if you went into any Catholic Church, particularly a well attended one, on any Sunday here and did a poll of the congregation, you’d be surprised at how liberal-minded people were." A generational shift has occurred, a cycle is ending worldwide. The next generation coming is tired and uninterested in the old, failed battles of previous ones. They are hungry for spiritual knowledge and if the church doesn't serve it to them, they will seek it elsewhere. When I was growing up in Miami in the 80's, you would be hard pressed to find one center that had Yoga classes. Today, there are centers even in the most suburban of areas. Not to say that Yoga is a replacement for religion but it is a beginning point and for many is their preferred "church". Newsweek's April 13, 2009 issue runs a cover image of a cross outlined by the words, "The Decline and Fall of Christian America". Obama's win over the faith-aligned Republicans sealed the fate of the extremists in the country that many doubt will ever be able to regained. The church is finally becoming separated from the state as our country's founders intended. "The percentage of self-identified Christians has fallen 10 points in the past two decades." (John Meacham, Newsweek) The decline of the church is a fact not theory. Question is how long can the church afford to ignore it? Do they impeach this curmudgeon before he brings about it's downfall like George W. Bush almost was?

Fast forward 20 years to 2029, we may see a day where the Vatican is no more. We may live to see a day where the Vatican leaders choose to dismantle it's own headquaters to prove to the world it is shedding it's old self and moving towards a newfound mission and vision. It could sell it's melted down gold to aid 3rd world countries and plant a huge forest in the middle of Rome, replacing the gargantuan statues that have so little to do with Jesus Christ's humble message. This new found forest would be a new spiritual United Nations location for all of the religious tribes of the world could come together to trance-dance away any differences in the warmth of a fire, bathed in the moonlight of a blue moon. A new unified and fully inclusive tradition would replace the crusty, old and irrelevant church of today. I don't doubt that Muslims, Jews, Sufis, Hindus, buddhists, Atheists and yes, us Gays would come to dance at that global party!

There is some hope for its survival. There are signs of factions of moderates within these conservative religions working against the tide of extremism and conservatism to modernize the message of the church to a more inclusive one. Facebook has several religious groups that have popped up supporting gay rights. (see link below) The group is such an idiosyncracy that Facebook'ers sympathetic to the gay rights movement have left negative comments not realizing that the group is Pro-marriage equality and not the common trend among Catholics to be against it. The group is called Christians For Gay Equality (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=33840595913&ref=ts) and it is ray of light and hope that yes, the church can reform itself from the inside. It seems that the only way will be not by the elitist stronghold of holy, self- hating, closeted homosexuals running the Vatican but by the members of the Catholic Church that no longer want to be told what is right and wrong. The faithful that finally will take a stand to see God for themselves, without the help of a priest. Republicans are starting to realize their moral holy war must be given up and are now trying to redefine themselves as a party before facing complete extinction. Even the Rush Limbaugh dinosaur cannot roar loudly enough to save that party. One pioneering reformist is ironically the daughter of John McCain; the poster boy of when you go too far to show people how Catholic you are, no longer works for you in this country. Meghan McCain is leading a new movement from within the ranks of the staunch, unbending and never yielding Republican mentality to a more moderate party where acceptance of gay marriage is not a problem, among other things. She wants to go further than just making the party sound inclusive. This thoroughly modern McCain wants her party to actually change and be inclusive, not just talk the talk. Wouldn't she be a wonderful replacement to the wicked witch of the east; Ann Coulter's rhetoric.



Homosexuals are a tribe that no longer finds the path of least resistance the wisest one. We are ready to push beyond our reservations in the big cities (LA, NY, MIA, SAN FRAN) and lay claim to our role in global politics. It's time we come out of our safe bubbles, grab our equality in this civilization and maybe lead again as spiritual leaders replacing the outdated, restrictive and divisive religions of this world with one world spirituality. It is happening already - the number of Americans who don't identify with any religion has risen to 15% from 8% in 1990.

I come from a family where my grandmother who was fiercely Catholic had a sister that became a nun after witnessing a vision of the Virgin Mary in her small town in Cuba. I was raised in a Catholic household, went to a Catholic all boys high school was confirmed and even did the Jesus life and death tour in Israel. So I can say with absolute certainty that I have found more spiritual enlightenment under the moonlight than under any church dome.

The awakening will continue, the churches will continue to empty and be less relevant. When you find yourselves looking for some elightenment, look to the Native American Shaman, Buddhism, Kundalini, Kabbalah, Yoga, wherever. The most important thing is that you look for the truth yourself because this leader isn't helping.

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Gay sex in Catholic seminaries decreased but still ongoing:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28677174/

Shortage of Priests in Seminaries:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bal-op.rodricks22oct22,0,6398710.कालम

Newsweek's story on the decline of Christian America:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/192583

Meghan McCain's shining new path for her beleaguered party:

http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2009/04/13/meghan-mccain-we-need-more-gay-republicans/

Pope reinstates member of extreme traditionalist sect (St. Pius X) previously excommunicated by Pope John Paul:http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/world/europe/25pope.html?hp

Pope's feeble attempt to curb worldwide furor over the Bishop's stance:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/4514628/Pope-demands-Holocaust-denier-retract-his-views.html

Beautiful speech by oscar winner for MILK movie denouncing church stance against gays:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfPXcCroPJc

Pope inciting more hatred and violence against homosexuals:http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2008/dec/28/papal-denunciation/

More americans claim they have no religion now at 15% increase from 8% in 1990: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29585222/?GT1=43001

Anthropological historical facts regarding roles of gay American Indians as Spiritual leaders of tribes: http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~culture/medicine.htm

More on shamanism: http://books.google.com/books?id=Z_ThIx97yw8C&pg=PA74&lpg=PA74&dq=gay+american+indian+shaman&source=web&ots=PxMSHrMrv2&sig=QhaMICnafYitiOmRXm6L9bPlgOw&hl=en&ei=rh2fSf2sEMH7tgf_6oyfDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=10&ct=result#PPA80,M1

The honorable role of Shaman in native america:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.diamondlady.net/starmaiden_globe.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.diamondlady.net/shamanism.html&usg=__90CitMu_TFMfLwL_y_N3k3LmHws=&h=332&w=339&sz=65&hl=en&start=22&um=1&tbnid=F2iSZSYuCnmoWM:&tbnh=117&tbnw=119&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dshaman%2Bnative%2Bamerican%26start%3D21%26ndsp%3D21%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

Pope's divisive speech:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00106/pg-06-Pope-AFP-Gett_106606t.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/meditation-on-gender-lands-pope-in-hot-water-1210064.html&usg=__D5JeaqVkuqXpQBnUQbjlrBzRO7M=&h=424&w=300&sz=23&hl=en&start=89&tbnid=-t-dqTzeKxFxuM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=89&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcardinals%2Bvatican%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D21%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26start%3D84

Homosexuality and Buddhism:http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_budd.htm