BLOG WAR!

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IBoyfriend -Version 7.0

It seems that every aspect of our lives change so quickly that it's as if we're running a race gasping to keep up. We run out to buy the new IPhone with the fastest 3G internet browsing, the new Hybrid car we must now buy to save money on gas, the latest- N wireless internet adapter to get the fastest internet available on our home computers, solar panels for our homes to save on electricity. All these new technologies we must acquire to remain competitive. It makes you wonder what happens with the all the old technology when it becomes "end of life" or too inefficient for use? Well, it's basically thrown away or it usually ends up in a 3rd world country somewhere. This "throw-away" mentality permeates inevitably into our love relationships. We’ve become such a disposable society that every one dumps their partners the minute it sours instead of sticking it through like the good old days. Every 6 months or so, when things get slow, we upgrade to newer, slicker, hotter versions: Iboyfriend (you fill in the version). In the gay communities, there are environmentally friendly disposable societies where the men and women are recycled into new relationships just as fast as they are disposed of.

Your relationship history is your resume' for the next guy\gal. If you’re single too long then something dark and sinister is hiding. If you're seeing someone while you're separated, you must be a cheater. The best resume' is one of a candidate out of a relationship for at least 6 months but no more than one year. Any time sooner will make the new prospect categorize you as a "short term hire" or a "rebound fling". If you’re too hot for a semi-hot position you are over qualified. If you are too flabby for a ripped partner position, you are disqualified from the position. Top, Bottom, Fem, Butch, Twink, Athletic enthusiast, Daddy, Cub Chaser, Chub Chaser, Leather Daddy, Nudist; with so many pre-requisites, it's a miracle we humans ever hook up at all. Finding love has become as difficult as finding a unicorn with blonde hair.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in divorce and am a well-adjusted product of divorced parents. Thankfully, my mom was able to liberate herself from that unhappy marriage. Being a latina, it took her a while longer than an anglo but she did it. In the good old days, you were stuck with what you got and if you divorced, you carried a scarlet letter of shame with you for the rest of your days. The silver lining was that you worked hard to make it work. Nowadays, who has the time?

On the flip side of this pancake, some still try to make their relationships work; however difficult it may be in today's fun-filled, quick-to-bore-world. I've been mocked by my friends at being a serial monogamist as if it was a bad thing. I prefer to be in long term relationships rather than endless strings of non-committal sex with strangers. I believe each meaningful relationship you experience is an opportunity for self-growth, if you allow it. It's all about the mirror. So where is the self-growth in this new disposable society? Maybe we can download the latest Deepak Chopra audio book to our Iphones and evolve while on our treadmills at the gym before we meet friends for a drink. Technology will help us more on our love quests after the stigma dissipates completely and people cozy up to the idea of it being a tool to find everything, including love. Finding love online will be as commonplace as buying a book on Amazon.com.

Another difficulty in finding love that lasts is when you live in a major city like Miami, there's just too much selection. I call it my "cereal theory". You know when you're standing dumbstruck at the supermarket's cereal aisle, not knowing which one of the delicious and colorful choices to pick because there are so damn many? Well the same goes with Miami, there is too much selection of quality, grade A meat here, at least on the outside. Miami has the highest volume of physically attractive humans per square foot than any other city in the world. While that doesn't guarantee you get quality relationship material, it does make monogamy difficult. People in Wichita, Kansas don't have this problem. When they find someone to love they hold on to them tooth and nail. There isn't much of a pool in those places.

I've been lucky enough to have several long term relationships with 3 years being my all time Guiness world record. I hope to one day break that record and maybe even god forbid, hit a decade mark. My present version boyfriend (best version ever) gave me an ever so endearing Valentine's Day card that-gasp-had the "F" word (forever) on it. No other boyfriend has ever had the courage to use that idealistic of a word on a card written to me and at first it threw me for a loop. It was a foreign concept for me. After taking it in, I said why not accept his challenge and be the eternally optimistic Charlotte from Sex and the City? Where are the dreamers that believe in a love that lasts forever? Maybe I have found my blonde unicorn? Who knows what will happen tomorrow. In the meantime, I believe in this love-today.

He might turn out to be another Flavor Flav of a guy but for now I'm not ready to give up on my belief that the "F" word is possible and I just might be idealistic and queer enough to get married on some mountaintop temple in Bali.

Maybe the big lesson we all learn is how to truly love ourselves.

Maybe I'll end up with true love for a global cause that I believe in.

I'll let you know in a couple of years.

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Inspirational love story of how two people used technology to bring them together while being continents apart: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29164894/

Theories on exponential increase of rate of change: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accelerating_change

Video on exponential changes:

K-Y it boys! Good Lube for Good Times!

Every once in a while a traditionally straight brand starts to market to us Gays and appreciates our economic power and disposable income. KY has been a brand that traditionally marketed only to hetero's out there with a less than interesting, clinical packaging and product. It's 2009 and they have really amp'd up their game. They have come a long way from their one type of lube that wasn't all that exciting to their new line of silicone based products "Intrigue" and "Intense" lines that have a superior glide and feel to them. I have personally tried Intrigue (silicone version) and appreciate the bottle's design for easy flip open of the cap while "getting busy". It didn't dry out even after a long time using it (you know what i'm sayin').

I believe our power as a group is best wielded when we advocate and promote companies that offer favorable marketing to homo's out there and using the powerful tool of a boycott when not. The NAACP has been doing this to full effect for years. Bravo to KY for reaching out to the gay community!

Click on link below to see their new "intriguing" ad campaign image of 2 men intertwined in bed to form an infinity symbol and download a free remixed track of Kristine W's- "Love is the Look" Hurry the free offer ends on March 31st.

http://ky.com/men/

*Tip- the best track is the last remix by Ralphi Rosario (the one that is 10:33 long). Do the quick registration to be able to download the tracks for free. Masterbeat also has some other cool tracks from your favorite DJ's for download. (Abel, Offer Nissim, remixes of Deborah Cox, Natasha Bedingfield, etc.)

Intriguing Intimacy Facts -Did you know…

•In a recent study that sought to better understand the state of intimacy in America, lubricants were the most effective sexual aid for inspiring intimacy
•A new study shows that men who have 3 or more orgasms a week are 50% less likely to die from coronary heart disease
•99% of people who have tried K-Y® Brand INTRIGUE™ Premium Personal Lubricant report that it makes the sexual experience more pleasurable. And, 95% of people say it enhances sexual arousal and intimacy between them and their partners, claiming that K-Y® Brand INTRIGUE™ is something that they would use on a regular basis

Have fun and play it safe even if it is your long-time boyfriend and you think he would never cheat on you!

http://www.kyintrigue.com/kyintrigue/intrigue_sample.jsp

Obama - A Leader that Comes Along Once in a Lifetime

Tonight I write to you my fellow blog-itos to share in my hope and joy that finally we will see America become an enviable nation again. After experiencing the magnaminous charisma of our 44th president in all it's glory I am overwhelmed with hope and faith that with his new laser-beam focus that we may possibly get out of this mess the W has left for us all.

Obama, being the LEO that he is (born august 6th) and left handed (Clinton was both), without a doubt proved tonight that he can lead, that he has the drive, energy and courage to forge new relationships across party lines turning his opposers into allies by finding the common ground of our love for this great country. He rises above the emotion and ping-pong-bickering that has stalled our country so badly that it resembles a Yugo in a junkyard. If he can deliver on his monumental and historic promises tonight, he will be the leader that can take us out of this black hole of despair, our modern day JFK. Obama delivered a speech so electrifying and inspirational that it caused both parties to stand up in ovation not only to applaud him but agree with his points. In a room that never sees such positvity and electricty, tonight was as lively and joyous as a Superbowl after party. The United States was the winner of this Superbowl and our coach was Obama.

Now, 3 years before the theorized end of the world 2012, is the time for this change. Like an alcoholic that can't buck an addiction until hitting rock bottom, we are by most accounts, at ground zero as a nation. Now that the cause for change is an economic one and not a political one, we have a once in a lifetime window of opportunity and flexibility by both parties to completely shift the focus from fear-based decisions and reform this country with a new found spirit. Obama has reminded us what it should mean to be an American by showing two shining examples of public consciense and social responsibility. He invited a young student named Ty'Sheoma Bethea that wrote to Congress to help save her crumbling school and a shining star of a Miamian, Jew and businessman Leonard Abess Jr. who gave back 60 million of his personal proceeds from the sale of his bank to all employees on his payroll (even the ones that had left the bank). These exemplary Americans remind us all that America is not completely filled with selfish fatcats and that a new conscience is being ushered in and sponsored by a leader with his heart in the right place and his mind focused on what needs to be corrected.

I do believe the end of the world will come by 2012 as the Mayans have prophesied, only it will be the end of the world as we know it with a new one being born. One where people are more important than profit margins, where education and science are once again of primary importance as they were in ancient Greece and the relationship to mother Earth is once again a loving one and not one of an abusive alcoholic curmudgeon husband. It certainly felt like a new world was being born today, just in time to be in full effect by 2012.

Thank you Obama...for the hope and change that you bring.

If you missed this historic and oh-so-not-boring address, you can watch it in it's entirety here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29289533/vp/29372559#29372559

The special invites to the address are a who's who of upstanding citizens of this country:http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ictnGeYoKZSUeY_kPWnENwbSh09wD96I82V80

Amazing story of Jewish businessman that gave all his proceeds to his fellow employees:http://www.vosizneias.com/27448/2009/02/16/miami-fl-jewish-philanthropist-shares-his-wealth-of-60-million-with-all-of-his-employess/

How do the "Gays" Say I Love You on St. Valentine's Day?

There are a trillion ways to celebrate and say I "heart" you in honor of the pagan holiday http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Valentines_Day dressed up as a catholic one. In Roman times a popular festival called the Lupercalia was held annually, February 15th. Young nobles called Luperci, ran around Palatine hill in Rome in what is believed to have been a purification ritual. The young men were naked, except for the skins of goats that had been sacrificed that day, they would strike women they met on the hands with strips of sacrificial goatskin to promote fertility. While in modern times we still get naked and slap each other with skin, here are some other options to spice it up on "VD Day" (heteros can enjoy too):



* Do the latin-ghetto-fab thing and rent a cheap motel on Calle 8 (8th street). Pack matching leopard print bikini underwear, cheap champagne and an Iphone loaded with "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" to play in your uber-tacky romper room. (hint-mirrored ceilings are way hot).

*Have adventurous sex- call your partner to come up to your office after hours and do the nasty on your desk (make sure the door is locked in case the cleaning people bust in on you).

*Do your own strip tease for your partner with some new sexy underwear you bought online. http://www.hisroom.com/ song suggestion- I Got it From My Mama by the Black Eyed Peas or anything by Elvis

*Go skinny dipping on South Beach and after having a light dinner (so you still look good naked after eating). Light up a joint of the most primo herb you can find and get buck-nekked under the moonlight, remembering to stay near the shore so you don't get eaten by sharks.

*Pick out some some toys or new kind of lube together at your nearest sex shop and have some kinky fun

*Buy a jar of chocolate paint and go Picasso on your lover's body! (warning heating up the chocolate in microwave can genitalia)http://gifts.redenvelope.com/productdetail.aspx?cobrand=RED&pid=30001768&ssid=4&REF=redshpggiftscomfeed_30001768&PRID=REDESFD15&mr:referralID=dc6c5924-ed8d-11dd-9f5b-000423c27407

*Pick out a couple of positions while blindfolded from a Kama Sutra book, (or Google it if you don't have the book handy) performing them to see which one is your new favorite.

*Re-enact that famous love scene from 9 1/2 Weeks movie when Mickey Rourke was hot. Take turns blindfolding and feeding surprising bits of sexy food to one another (no hamburgers and remember to play some sexy music in the background to complete the mood).



*Soo cute pillows of love, most are of straight couples but some are androgynous enough to pass as two same sex couples. They are cute nonetheless...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/shops/storefront/index.html?ie=UTF8&sellerID=A3QRCKZR0E0NLA&sortBy=StartDateDesc&page=1

*Get matching symbolic tattoos (stay away from putting names in, just in case) My personal tattoo master is Miki, he's dutch and way cool and patient, a true artiste. (786-315-0222 in Aventura).

*Here's one for the "Ellen's" (lesbians) out there-Act out a mock wedding in your living room just for fun and dress up your dogs or cats as maids of honor, making sure you are in sexy lingerie and veils only.

*Get a couple's massage at my little secret hideaway spa, Skin Institute on 135th and Biscayne. Get pampered by super gay-friendly diva Sheila Treadway, a master at the art of pampering the skin. The supreme is her 24K gold facials. Check her Valentine's day specials-(305) 371-7435 skininstitute@aol.com. Don't miss going in her high tech infrared heat sauna with your partner.

*Enjoy a Yoga session together at the Standard Hotel on South Beach. Take a dip in their pool and water fall hot tub then chow-down on their outdoor bayside dock, under the stars (keeping your robes on, of course) http://www.standardhotels.com/miami/spa-wellbeing/yoga/

*Park in Coconut Grove public park and bike ride to Key Biscayne. Make a pitstop at Rusty Pelican for a couple of daiquiris (they make the ride home so much more painless) and take in the amazing view of Miami's growing skyline. End the night with a dip in a hot tub or in your bathtub if a hot tub isn't available, soothing your sore muscles and have some slippery, wet fun.

*go to a traditionally straight event and show them that we have "real" love too. Live Jazz concert under the stars at the Deering Estate in Miami's neighborhood version of Wisteria Lane (Pinecrest).

http://www.yelp.com/events/palmetto-bay-moonlight-and-music-valentines-day-concert?wy_s=M&wy_r=51YN-38yyyD3aTCls5AwBw

We should ideally make every day "VD day" but in today's frenetic world, it's nice to make your loved one's feel loved at least on the weekends. If you don't subscribe to these forced holidays then chuck this entire blog into your mind's waste bin. That is one of the pleasures of being gay, we have license to run free of society's norms.

How it all started: St. Valentine's Pagan origins (before the Catholic Church stole it) http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.orenoque.com/topten/images/stories/L/lupercales.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.orenoque.com/topten/valentines-day-history/roman-lupercalia-festival.html&usg=__1opNvgoTWAsAnJhpBAm3y-_ajdQ=&h=126&w=126&sz=12&hl=en&start=3&tbnid=9ZePM2Krdi5vIM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=90&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlupercalia%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den

The state of Gay PDA today- Are we capable of public displays of affection?

In this month of love I felt it appropriate to write about how we express love with each other and the implications that it may have depending on geography. I visited Jerusalem several years ago and have never forgotten the feeling of injustice I felt when a Palestinian shopkeeper started screaming eptihets in Arabic (you could tell because of the hand gestures) at a straight couple stopping in the market's passageway to kiss each other while holding hands. While being a romantic Kodak moment to my eyes, in Islam (Sharia law) public displays of affection are forbidden and considered offensive, even punishable by prison (yes prison) no matter what country you come from. The couple was so offended and afraid that they walked away very quickly in bewilderment from the angered shopkeeper. I truly felt bad for these two innocent human beings forbidden from loving each other and sharing a beautiful moment, in a city where so many have died for literally thousands of years because of religion and continue to so to this day. Irony is everywhere.

Different cultures express love in so many different ways but thankfully we live in a country where we have a magnaminous new president that enjoys a healthy and happy relationship so much so that he has no qualms with PDA, even on stage at his inauguration. Obama and Michelle have been the most affectionate first couple I've ever seen in my lifetime. I don't think George Bush ever even laid his hands on Laura in the entire 8 years of his presidency. In America it is safe to show affection to one another. Thankfully, the religious right in this country hasn't removed that freedom from us.....yet.

In a country not so far away like Malaysia, it is so offensive to kiss that a tourist couple almost got put in jail for a year for it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4879248.stm

Imagine that you are a adventurous, young, gay couple and you decide to take a trip to see one of the wonders of the modern world; the Petronas towers in Kuala Lumpur and you decide to take a picture of yourselves kissing underneath the famous air bridge that unites the two buildings. You could find yourself instantly handcuffed and crammed into a surreal 3rd world jail cell a' la Midnight Express.

Since we DON'T live in Jerusalem, Malaysia, Dubai or Iran, etc. then why don't us gays seem absolutely devoid of the ability to show any type of affection for each other in public? Do we fear the anti-gay ghestapo will rappel down from a helicopter and whisk us away to concentration camps? Will latin american gun-men shoot us point blank against a concrete wall? None of the above...why because we live in a FREE and modern country that has no laws against any public displays of affection. This includes everyone gays, lesbians, straight, bisexual, etc. While we wouldn't exactly choose to make out or hold hands in the middle of Yeehaw Junction, Florida we should be able to express our love for one another in an honest, subtle manner whenever we feel so inclined in the same way that straight or bi-racial couples do. Being a Miami native, as a kid we'd go to Disney every summer and I'd often stare at young couples waiting in line, appreciating how they would lean and kiss each other's cheeks while waiting to get on the next ride. I wished that when I grew up I could do the same with my partner. Some 20 odd years later, I CAN do that and do even if it does make my current boyfriend uncomfortable or fearful. I stick to my guns and my belief that one of the most beautiful things to see in this life is people freely showing the love they have for each other at any given moment. It was a pleasing sight at my neighborhood Target to see an attractive blonde girl feeding a chocolate kiss to her black boyfriend and he responding with a sweet pop kiss to her mouth. How wonderful that they can feel free enough to express themselves like that in today's America, then I paused to ask myself when will that time come for "the gays"?

I don't mean we have to be all over each other all of the time but when it's a moment that you feel love for the person you are with, the most natural thing reaction is for you to show it. It takes effort to hold it in and why would you? It's as simple as squeezing their hand while walking, rubbing their backs or even yes god forbid, a pop kiss. If people can say "awww" and find the beauty in two dogs kissing in Lady and the Tramp then I have absolutely no doubt they would find our moments of true and honest love to be equally endearing.
The primary defense that religions use against Gays showing affection in public is that it is damaging to children. After coming back from a recent Carnival Cruise I can confidently tell you what I find offensive and disturbing to children. Obesity is offensive. Families allowing their children to be obese, stuffing their faces at a buffet 5 times a day is offensive. Bad taste in clothing is offensive. Hairy backs on men roasting in the sun is offensive. Extreme acts of violence shown on the afternoon news are offensive. Images of Jesus Christ dead and nailed to a cross are deeply disturbing, people wearing sandals with fungus infected toe nails is disturbing. What messages do those things tell the children of the world? Do we gays really believe that the expression of our love is more offensive than the examples I've described above? Really? What gives them the right to be out and proud with their nasty-as-they-wanna-be-selves and us not to be?

In the same fashion that some gays still remain in the closet even though thousands are out and proud, this is just another form of self-inflicted repression. As I've said before, fear is part perception and part reality. It is a human right in the United States and other democratic countries to be able to express affection for the ones you love within the norms of society, of course. I don't think anyone wants to see two people slobbering all over each other at a dinner table, unless you're a pervert but at the same time you wouldn't arrest them from doing so. You have the choice of just looking away. T'is the beauty of living in a free country.

I'd love to see the day when gay and lesbian couples all over America and other free nations, show the world that we don't just have hot sex but that we do love, we do express affection for one another, that our love is true and yes, inoffensive. Just make sure you aren't in Dubai before you do (that goes for the straights too).

A warning from the UK to travelers visiting arabic countries: http://www.newser.com/story/46369/no-pda-cheating-in-muslim-nations-uk-warns-travelers.html

Heinz pulls their ad of two gay men kissing because it was deemed to offensive to children: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-8125.html