The state of Gay PDA today- Are we capable of public displays of affection?

In this month of love I felt it appropriate to write about how we express love with each other and the implications that it may have depending on geography. I visited Jerusalem several years ago and have never forgotten the feeling of injustice I felt when a Palestinian shopkeeper started screaming eptihets in Arabic (you could tell because of the hand gestures) at a straight couple stopping in the market's passageway to kiss each other while holding hands. While being a romantic Kodak moment to my eyes, in Islam (Sharia law) public displays of affection are forbidden and considered offensive, even punishable by prison (yes prison) no matter what country you come from. The couple was so offended and afraid that they walked away very quickly in bewilderment from the angered shopkeeper. I truly felt bad for these two innocent human beings forbidden from loving each other and sharing a beautiful moment, in a city where so many have died for literally thousands of years because of religion and continue to so to this day. Irony is everywhere.

Different cultures express love in so many different ways but thankfully we live in a country where we have a magnaminous new president that enjoys a healthy and happy relationship so much so that he has no qualms with PDA, even on stage at his inauguration. Obama and Michelle have been the most affectionate first couple I've ever seen in my lifetime. I don't think George Bush ever even laid his hands on Laura in the entire 8 years of his presidency. In America it is safe to show affection to one another. Thankfully, the religious right in this country hasn't removed that freedom from us.....yet.

In a country not so far away like Malaysia, it is so offensive to kiss that a tourist couple almost got put in jail for a year for it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4879248.stm

Imagine that you are a adventurous, young, gay couple and you decide to take a trip to see one of the wonders of the modern world; the Petronas towers in Kuala Lumpur and you decide to take a picture of yourselves kissing underneath the famous air bridge that unites the two buildings. You could find yourself instantly handcuffed and crammed into a surreal 3rd world jail cell a' la Midnight Express.

Since we DON'T live in Jerusalem, Malaysia, Dubai or Iran, etc. then why don't us gays seem absolutely devoid of the ability to show any type of affection for each other in public? Do we fear the anti-gay ghestapo will rappel down from a helicopter and whisk us away to concentration camps? Will latin american gun-men shoot us point blank against a concrete wall? None of the above...why because we live in a FREE and modern country that has no laws against any public displays of affection. This includes everyone gays, lesbians, straight, bisexual, etc. While we wouldn't exactly choose to make out or hold hands in the middle of Yeehaw Junction, Florida we should be able to express our love for one another in an honest, subtle manner whenever we feel so inclined in the same way that straight or bi-racial couples do. Being a Miami native, as a kid we'd go to Disney every summer and I'd often stare at young couples waiting in line, appreciating how they would lean and kiss each other's cheeks while waiting to get on the next ride. I wished that when I grew up I could do the same with my partner. Some 20 odd years later, I CAN do that and do even if it does make my current boyfriend uncomfortable or fearful. I stick to my guns and my belief that one of the most beautiful things to see in this life is people freely showing the love they have for each other at any given moment. It was a pleasing sight at my neighborhood Target to see an attractive blonde girl feeding a chocolate kiss to her black boyfriend and he responding with a sweet pop kiss to her mouth. How wonderful that they can feel free enough to express themselves like that in today's America, then I paused to ask myself when will that time come for "the gays"?

I don't mean we have to be all over each other all of the time but when it's a moment that you feel love for the person you are with, the most natural thing reaction is for you to show it. It takes effort to hold it in and why would you? It's as simple as squeezing their hand while walking, rubbing their backs or even yes god forbid, a pop kiss. If people can say "awww" and find the beauty in two dogs kissing in Lady and the Tramp then I have absolutely no doubt they would find our moments of true and honest love to be equally endearing.
The primary defense that religions use against Gays showing affection in public is that it is damaging to children. After coming back from a recent Carnival Cruise I can confidently tell you what I find offensive and disturbing to children. Obesity is offensive. Families allowing their children to be obese, stuffing their faces at a buffet 5 times a day is offensive. Bad taste in clothing is offensive. Hairy backs on men roasting in the sun is offensive. Extreme acts of violence shown on the afternoon news are offensive. Images of Jesus Christ dead and nailed to a cross are deeply disturbing, people wearing sandals with fungus infected toe nails is disturbing. What messages do those things tell the children of the world? Do we gays really believe that the expression of our love is more offensive than the examples I've described above? Really? What gives them the right to be out and proud with their nasty-as-they-wanna-be-selves and us not to be?

In the same fashion that some gays still remain in the closet even though thousands are out and proud, this is just another form of self-inflicted repression. As I've said before, fear is part perception and part reality. It is a human right in the United States and other democratic countries to be able to express affection for the ones you love within the norms of society, of course. I don't think anyone wants to see two people slobbering all over each other at a dinner table, unless you're a pervert but at the same time you wouldn't arrest them from doing so. You have the choice of just looking away. T'is the beauty of living in a free country.

I'd love to see the day when gay and lesbian couples all over America and other free nations, show the world that we don't just have hot sex but that we do love, we do express affection for one another, that our love is true and yes, inoffensive. Just make sure you aren't in Dubai before you do (that goes for the straights too).

A warning from the UK to travelers visiting arabic countries: http://www.newser.com/story/46369/no-pda-cheating-in-muslim-nations-uk-warns-travelers.html

Heinz pulls their ad of two gay men kissing because it was deemed to offensive to children: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-8125.html

"GAY" is the new "BLACK"

While I am exhilarated by the election of our shiny, new president Obama, the first presidential candidate that has ever been vocal in his support for the gay community, on the flip side i've been brought down from my "high" at the realization that while we made one large step forward, some small religious extremist groups in this country have succeeded to yet again tarnish the American Dream for all in their efforts to create a faux, holy utopia without us "gays". That envisioned utopia used to be one without any blacks, latinos or anyone that wasn't purely American and white. Since these extremist groups realized long ago that goal was impossible, they have settled on an easier target for their holy war, "By golly. let's get them gays and fix this country."

These groups; The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Catholic organizations such as the Knights of Columbus (http://www.kofc.org/), the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, the Saint Andrews Alms fund, the National Organizaton for marriage http://www.nationformarriage.org/, and the American Family Association http://www.afa.net/, all non-profits and have all collected large sums of money from their followers to write discrimination into the books across our country.

Let's call a spade a spade, these folks are our Taliban or "Ameri-bans", governed by their fear of the modern world as the Taliban in the Middle East. It is their "Jihad" and their satisfaction will only come when they see no homosexuals in the public light by either curing them or pushing them so far into the closet that they are invisible again. The only thing is, who will be their next target for a holy war? Unwed mothers, single mothers, couples living together that don't want to marry? There will always be a target for them. Today the gays are the target who will they attack next?

Now what I find painfully ironic is the groups that have been mostly discriminated against in this country; latinos and blacks were the ones that poll numbers have shown, widely voted for these discriminatory measures which ultimately passed.

Gay is the new black! Although blacks and latinos don't like to call it discrimination, although it is wrapped up in a blanket of religion, it is still a pig in a blanket.

The late wife of Martin Luther King; Coretta Scott King said in a speech at the Palmer House Hilton Hotel in Chicago in 1998, “Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spreads all too easily to victimize the next minority group,” Mrs. King explained. We are currently in a civil rights movement in this country and it will only grow louder until we win our equality and legal protection. In the words of a gay protester in South Florida, "No more Mr. Nice Gay!".

Anti-LGBT marriage bans passed in Florida and Arizona, and in Arkansas voters voted to bar all unmarried people, LGBT or straight, from adopting children or serving as foster parents. California's proposition 8 passed as well, preventing any further marriages of same sex couples to take place, statewide.

But that's enough about "them" let's now focus on us, the positive, forward thinking, non fearful, challenge and adventure-loving Americans. What can we do to win this ideological war against hatred?

I'll take this opportunity to blog about a blogger;

It's about time that another individual rose from the ranks to lead my people (the gays) a la Harvey Milk, to a new level. This new leader is a blogger named Amy Balliett who happens to be a lesbian. She blogs to the world from Seattle and several weeks ago she wrote calling for a national day of protest against the passage of California’s anti-gay marriage Proposition 8. Her blog spread like a gay virus, soon after, more than one million people read the blog. One blog created history, on November 15th at exactly 1:30 p.m. EST, dozens of cities across this great country staged peaceful protests where thousands attended. Gays, straight allies, politicians, citizens of the US attended in solidarity. This was truly a grassroots campaign in every sense of the word. All started by the greatest invention ever created; the Internet and one person's vision. I've never been so proud to be gay and an IT Help Desk Manager at the same time.

The next big event that you can take part in is a Day Without a Gay on December 10th. http://daywithoutagay.org/ The time has come to really show the nation who we are and how much we contribute to it's growth and add to it's society. I am, we are citizens of the USA who deserve equal protections under the law!

We have a lot of work to do, DOMA (Defense of Marriage act) http://www.domawatch.org/index.php exists in 37 states in the US and it must be overturned just as the laws preventing women from voting and interracial marriages have been overturned in this country. History is on our side, you cannot continue to repress such a large group of human beings and expect them to just go away. We just need to better organize, focus on what is most important right now, maintain positivity (which has always been easy for us) and finally to speak out to everyone we know. Affect all of your circles of influence, instigate conversations on the topic and read up on the topics so you know what you are talking about. We cannot allow these small extremist and soon to be dinosaur groups of Ameri-bans in this country to take us back to the dark ages. We will overcome this! We will KEEP ON RISING! (queue music now)


Gay is the New Black video documentary

http://video.newsweek.com/#?t=4122447001&l=2269776001

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Positive highlights of our recent advances and a message from Joe Solomnese, President of the HRC (Human Rights Campaign).

We increased the ranks of pro-equality lawmakers in both the House and the Senate. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO), ringleader of the campaign to write discrimination into the U.S. Constitution, was soundly defeated. Jared Polis (D-CO) became the first openly gay man ever to be elected to Congress as a non-incumbent. Democrats took the New York State Senate, giving us our best chance ever to pass a same-sex marriage law in a legislature. We won the right to marry in Conneticut and marriages there have already begun.

With Obama in office we can now pass critical LGBT equality measures like the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act and begin unraveling the damage of the last eight years.

Moving forward, HRC will:
Continue our efforts to win incremental victories for relationship recognition, so that legally married lesbian and gay couples in Massachusetts and Connecticut have full standing under federal law; the same holds true for civil unions and domestic partnerships in places like New Hampshire, Vermont and Oregon.

As Obama said last night, “That's the true genius of America – that America can change.”

Yesterday, an unfortunate majority of voters stood with the most extreme and negative elements of society to deny the rights of loving and committed gay and lesbian couples. But it’s not the first time that has happened to us, and it won’t be the last.

"It doesn’t change the fact that we are married. It doesn’t change the fact that we have families. Make no mistake. We are bowed, but not discouraged. We are sad, but not disheartened. We grieve, but not as those who are without hope. "

Joe Solmonese President http://www.hrc.org/
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Here's a couple of easy ways you can help with a click: sign the Anger into Action Declaration here: http://www.kintera.org/c.qkIWKaMZIxF/b.4746361/k.29E1/Anger_Into_Action_Declaration/siteapps/advocacy/ActionItem.aspx
Over 200,000 people have already signed the pledge—and thousands more are signing every day. Even non-Californians are signing the pledge in solidarity. If you'd like to sign, click here:
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51024&id=15119-6248121-aS9KyPx&t=2

After you've signed, be sure to share with your friends and family, post to your Facebook page, and get the word out.

Sign a petition to overturn ammendment 2 in Florida:
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/amendment2/

Keith Olbermann's passionate plea to the religious right in this country:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVUecPhQPqY