This Gay Rights Tango- Our Dance Towards Full Equality

On December 28th, 2009 Evita Peron's smile beamed down on her country from her Presidential Palace in the heavens above. Always an ardent fighter for the repressed and poor, Latin America's first gay marriage would've brought tears of joy to this goddess of Argentina's history. Evita has said "A decent woman is one who rides roughshod over machos."

This national icon and eternal fag-hag would be proud knowing that in her country, the "gay's" had finally overcome the bully that is the powerful Roman Catholic Church to finally witness the marriage of Latin America's first gay couple. Latin America, like the Middle East has a strong male dominant society where tolerance of sexual diversity is non-existent and violence against gays is a common occurrence. This marriage highlights the cracks in the system that has kept gay communities silent and fearful and that it is indeed crumbling.

A little less free but a lot more gay and happy

This whole marriage thing is a hallmark that we finally have the self-esteem to believe that another man is worth loving for the rest of your life. That we ourselves are good enough to marry another and have a chance at something as sparkling clean as a true love that may last a lifetime. It is a coming of age for a generation of gay men, forging a free and truly gay life for future generations of our gay brethren. In the words of Latin America's first groom, "Because "our" family is worth it.".

Worldwide, the advances have been peppered with setbacks in a strange 1-2 step tango. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, 1 step sideways, cha cha cha.

Back to America, I wait for my partner of a year and a half to return from our local grocery store to fetch Almond milk when suddenly my 8 year old nephew blurts out, "Tio, I dont want you to be gay anymore!". A pregnant moment of silence later, I whip my head to the back seat and see my nephew avoiding my gaze, visibly upset and looking out the window. This is a boy that has been an integral part of my life for 8 years, and the son of a single mom whom is my sister. He has always accepted me and my life and my partner as normally as anyone would of a normal heterosexual couple. He has simply never known hate and is as pure as the day he was born, which is partly why he can make friends with anyone of any age, color or social class within seconds of meeting them. It is one of his greatest qualities and he's as magnaminous as Obama in that respect. At a loss for words, I ask him, "Why would you say that to me? Who did you talk to about this?". He replied back still looking out the window, "These boys at school said that gays shouldn't be in this country and need to go away.". Black and white images of civil rights protests where policemen spray down black protesters in the middle of the street came to mind. I was being talked about the way the racists in the 60's talked about blacks. They wished they would just all go away. The irony of the account was blaringly obvious. I replied to him "Well, honey you know that is what you call "hate"and when your grandma came to this country from Cuba there were signs posted on buildings saying "No Cubans". It was very hard for her to get a job or to find a place to live because the people in Miami didn't want Cubans in this country either. Since your father is a black man living in Venezuela, he also has to deal with people hating him because of his color. I can't stop being gay any more than your grandmother can stop being Latino or your father being black. The next time you hear those boys saying things like that you stand up to them and tell them that's not right and tell your teacher.". My nephew finally turned away from the window and looks at me with doeful and watery eyes, "Ok Tio, I love you.". I reply, "I love you too."

I recount this incident because there is no greater hypocrisy than when a group that has survived marginalization to go and downplay another marginalized group's struggle. They should be the first one's running to the plate to help fight the battle. When Black religious leaders stand at their podiums and preach that their civil rights movement has nothing in common with ours or that we are "pimping their movement", I call "bullshit" because it IS the same. The same hatred, the same narrow mindedness, the same ignorance, the same rhetoric and the same limitations and dangers to my life. So much so, that the team fighting to overturn Proposition 8 as I write this blog has used the example that our President Obama would never have been born if the laws prohibiting blacks from marrying whites were never overturned in this country.

We are witnessing one of the most crucial battles in American history that may not go in our favor due to an overly conservative Supreme Court but we will keep fighting because it is our right to do so and the limits to our rights are constitutionally wrong.

The growing worldwide tide for our cause may be the only thing to finally wrestle the medieval chokehold the religious right has on this country and it's politics and push our courts to finally overturn this legislated discrimination.

As we look forward to (2010) twenty-ten (doesn't that sound positive?), we see a world wrangling together to help a devastated Haitian country with thousands dead and we are pushed to begin a year with a thoughtful focus on humanity and unity. Hopefully this focus will carry on throughout the year and years to come as we will eventually break through and gain our full equality in this great country where anything is possible. Maybe then we can stop doing this Gay Rights back and forth Tango and finally waltz our asses to our nearest city hall and finally get married.

Gay right's milestones 2009

*Mexico City is first Latin American city to legalize full, gay marriage.
*Uganda plans a bill that would serve a death penalty to homosexuals in that country.
*Obama promises to end Dont Ask Dont Tell to a crowd of gay activists at a fundraiser.
*Argentina passes full gay marriage rights.
*An Argentinian judge puts a hold on Argentina's first gay marriage in order to "review" the ruling then approves after their home province backs the marriage.
*Washington D.C. passes gay marriage.
*New York votes defeats gay marriage bill.
*Portugal passes full gay marriage rights with adoption rights granted by April 2010.
*Voters in Maine vote against gay marriage rejecting the measure.
*The biggest city in America, Houston, Texas elects the first openly gay mayor of any U.S. city.
*California's Supreme Court upholds the discriminatory Proposition 8.
*Sweden approves same sex marriage.
*Iowa and Vermont sign legislation to allow gay marriage.
*Obama signs into law the Matthew Shepard hate crimes act and extends federal benefits to partners of same sex couples.


Milestones to look forward to for 2010

*Hawaii will review legislature to revive civil unions for gays in that state.
*Senator Carl Levin will schedule a hearing to discuss ending the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy.
*The Supreme Court will vote on whether or not Proposition 8 should be overturned.

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Time magazine's gay right's timeline:
http://www.time.com/time/interactive/0,31813,1904681,00.html

To get up to date info on the Supreme Court trial go to:
http://www.couragecampaign.org/GetTheTruthOut

Hawaii will vote for Gay Civil Unions this year:
http://www.gayvantage.com/gay-news/hawaii-legislators-to-vote-on-civil-unions-3748291780/

Repeal of the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell to be debated on Capitol Hill 2010:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/gay-military-ban-military_n_422893.html

The United States elects it's first openly gay mayor:
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1947648,00.html

The debbie-downer-Pope at it again-calling gay marriage an "attack"
http://advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/01/11/Pope_Calls_Gay_Marriage_an_Attack/

Latin America weds it's first gay couple:
http://news.yahoo.com/video/world-15749633/argentina-hosts-first-gay-marriage-in-latin-america-17352907

"GAY" is the new "BLACK"

While I am exhilarated by the election of our shiny, new president Obama, the first presidential candidate that has ever been vocal in his support for the gay community, on the flip side i've been brought down from my "high" at the realization that while we made one large step forward, some small religious extremist groups in this country have succeeded to yet again tarnish the American Dream for all in their efforts to create a faux, holy utopia without us "gays". That envisioned utopia used to be one without any blacks, latinos or anyone that wasn't purely American and white. Since these extremist groups realized long ago that goal was impossible, they have settled on an easier target for their holy war, "By golly. let's get them gays and fix this country."

These groups; The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Catholic organizations such as the Knights of Columbus (http://www.kofc.org/), the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, the Saint Andrews Alms fund, the National Organizaton for marriage http://www.nationformarriage.org/, and the American Family Association http://www.afa.net/, all non-profits and have all collected large sums of money from their followers to write discrimination into the books across our country.

Let's call a spade a spade, these folks are our Taliban or "Ameri-bans", governed by their fear of the modern world as the Taliban in the Middle East. It is their "Jihad" and their satisfaction will only come when they see no homosexuals in the public light by either curing them or pushing them so far into the closet that they are invisible again. The only thing is, who will be their next target for a holy war? Unwed mothers, single mothers, couples living together that don't want to marry? There will always be a target for them. Today the gays are the target who will they attack next?

Now what I find painfully ironic is the groups that have been mostly discriminated against in this country; latinos and blacks were the ones that poll numbers have shown, widely voted for these discriminatory measures which ultimately passed.

Gay is the new black! Although blacks and latinos don't like to call it discrimination, although it is wrapped up in a blanket of religion, it is still a pig in a blanket.

The late wife of Martin Luther King; Coretta Scott King said in a speech at the Palmer House Hilton Hotel in Chicago in 1998, “Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spreads all too easily to victimize the next minority group,” Mrs. King explained. We are currently in a civil rights movement in this country and it will only grow louder until we win our equality and legal protection. In the words of a gay protester in South Florida, "No more Mr. Nice Gay!".

Anti-LGBT marriage bans passed in Florida and Arizona, and in Arkansas voters voted to bar all unmarried people, LGBT or straight, from adopting children or serving as foster parents. California's proposition 8 passed as well, preventing any further marriages of same sex couples to take place, statewide.

But that's enough about "them" let's now focus on us, the positive, forward thinking, non fearful, challenge and adventure-loving Americans. What can we do to win this ideological war against hatred?

I'll take this opportunity to blog about a blogger;

It's about time that another individual rose from the ranks to lead my people (the gays) a la Harvey Milk, to a new level. This new leader is a blogger named Amy Balliett who happens to be a lesbian. She blogs to the world from Seattle and several weeks ago she wrote calling for a national day of protest against the passage of California’s anti-gay marriage Proposition 8. Her blog spread like a gay virus, soon after, more than one million people read the blog. One blog created history, on November 15th at exactly 1:30 p.m. EST, dozens of cities across this great country staged peaceful protests where thousands attended. Gays, straight allies, politicians, citizens of the US attended in solidarity. This was truly a grassroots campaign in every sense of the word. All started by the greatest invention ever created; the Internet and one person's vision. I've never been so proud to be gay and an IT Help Desk Manager at the same time.

The next big event that you can take part in is a Day Without a Gay on December 10th. http://daywithoutagay.org/ The time has come to really show the nation who we are and how much we contribute to it's growth and add to it's society. I am, we are citizens of the USA who deserve equal protections under the law!

We have a lot of work to do, DOMA (Defense of Marriage act) http://www.domawatch.org/index.php exists in 37 states in the US and it must be overturned just as the laws preventing women from voting and interracial marriages have been overturned in this country. History is on our side, you cannot continue to repress such a large group of human beings and expect them to just go away. We just need to better organize, focus on what is most important right now, maintain positivity (which has always been easy for us) and finally to speak out to everyone we know. Affect all of your circles of influence, instigate conversations on the topic and read up on the topics so you know what you are talking about. We cannot allow these small extremist and soon to be dinosaur groups of Ameri-bans in this country to take us back to the dark ages. We will overcome this! We will KEEP ON RISING! (queue music now)


Gay is the New Black video documentary

http://video.newsweek.com/#?t=4122447001&l=2269776001

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Positive highlights of our recent advances and a message from Joe Solomnese, President of the HRC (Human Rights Campaign).

We increased the ranks of pro-equality lawmakers in both the House and the Senate. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO), ringleader of the campaign to write discrimination into the U.S. Constitution, was soundly defeated. Jared Polis (D-CO) became the first openly gay man ever to be elected to Congress as a non-incumbent. Democrats took the New York State Senate, giving us our best chance ever to pass a same-sex marriage law in a legislature. We won the right to marry in Conneticut and marriages there have already begun.

With Obama in office we can now pass critical LGBT equality measures like the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act and begin unraveling the damage of the last eight years.

Moving forward, HRC will:
Continue our efforts to win incremental victories for relationship recognition, so that legally married lesbian and gay couples in Massachusetts and Connecticut have full standing under federal law; the same holds true for civil unions and domestic partnerships in places like New Hampshire, Vermont and Oregon.

As Obama said last night, “That's the true genius of America – that America can change.”

Yesterday, an unfortunate majority of voters stood with the most extreme and negative elements of society to deny the rights of loving and committed gay and lesbian couples. But it’s not the first time that has happened to us, and it won’t be the last.

"It doesn’t change the fact that we are married. It doesn’t change the fact that we have families. Make no mistake. We are bowed, but not discouraged. We are sad, but not disheartened. We grieve, but not as those who are without hope. "

Joe Solmonese President http://www.hrc.org/
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Here's a couple of easy ways you can help with a click: sign the Anger into Action Declaration here: http://www.kintera.org/c.qkIWKaMZIxF/b.4746361/k.29E1/Anger_Into_Action_Declaration/siteapps/advocacy/ActionItem.aspx
Over 200,000 people have already signed the pledge—and thousands more are signing every day. Even non-Californians are signing the pledge in solidarity. If you'd like to sign, click here:
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51024&id=15119-6248121-aS9KyPx&t=2

After you've signed, be sure to share with your friends and family, post to your Facebook page, and get the word out.

Sign a petition to overturn ammendment 2 in Florida:
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/amendment2/

Keith Olbermann's passionate plea to the religious right in this country:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVUecPhQPqY