A mother's gay-straight alliance with her son

Today, more than ever I am proud to be the son of a mother who has joined me as a dedicated soldier in my fight for equality. Today, my mother; Doctora Isabel Gomez-Bassols http://doctoraisabel.net/ asked me to speak on her national radio talk show on Univision radio to debate our points of view regarding whether or not celebrities should come out of the closet to aid in the gay civil rights battle in this country. After reading my blog about the topic I had explained to her that it is a social war and the most dangerous gays are the ones that are in the closet and that are so self-hating that they'll do anything in their power to undermine our struggle just to free themselves from being discovered as being gay themselves. The Catholic church is chock-full of self-hating gays preaching for others to not accept us. The government also has it's shar of self-hating, closeted gays (Senator Larry Craig, Mark Foley) pushing for laws denying any rights to my people. The same way whites in the north stood up to the false notions of racists in this country that discrimination because of color was unjust, my mother has utilized the platform of her show to help me in being vocal for gays in this country to finally win and end their struggle for full civil rights. One day, we will look back and laugh at all this bickering and manipulation by religious establishments. One day hopefully, religious institutions will be a thing of the past too. I envision a world without separate and divisive religious organizations, a world with one, unified belief system, without religious doctrine based on fear. All religions believe in god so why can't we just boil it down to one belief system that holds love amongst men unconditionally to be the highest form of spirituality? After all, isn't that the purpose of spirituality, to spread God, Mohammed's, Allah, whomever's message of love to all?

I guess being a son of such a powerful and intelligent woman rubs off on you in some way. I guess that's where I get the conviction to live out and proud and speak on her national radio show to defend the rights of gays in this country. She did a perfect job of raising me and for this I thank her and pay homage to her in this blog.

When I decided to tell my mother my most tragic and sad secret, it was motivated from my trying to live a more honest, truthful life. In the same way I felt it was disrespectful to be with a woman sexually and fantasize about being with a man, it was disrespectful and hurtful to have her believe the lie that I was straight, regardless of whether that lie was supported by her self-inflicted illusions or my actions to hide it. Her being a mom first and psychologist second trumped her education and her initial reaction was that it was a result of not having enough interaction or affection from my father. It was more a knee-jerk reaction to my announcement than an actual belief. In the end, she knew better.

When my farm raised, Cuban father found out, it hit him so hard that all he could do was ask himself where he went wrong. He was so focused on what he did wrong to cause this to happen to his secretly favorite son. The son that he thought would bring pride to his name, succeed where he went wrong and completely eat that piece of American Pie he came to this country for. I'll never forget how my sister told me of the night he broke down and fell to the floor crying after getting out of his truck on his way home from work. He kept rambling and crying uncontrollably, asking her "Where did I go wrong?, What did I do to make him this way? That night in a reversal of roles, she cried with our father and held him as if he was her son. He was a man that never cried not even at his father's own funeral. It wasn't his fault, nor my mother's. He did nothing to cause what I was and am today. I can confidently confess with every cell in my physical being and every bit of my soul that I was simply born that way. It is not a curable disease, it is simply another color in the human rainbow, another way to love. Not the destruction of humanity but rather a challenge to humanity for compassion and understanding among men, across cultural and national borders. Homosexuality has always and will always exist just as heterosexuality has in every country in the world. We will not go away or disappear into invisibility. We are humans, Americans, leaders, sons, daughters, citizens of this world with our only wish being to be left alone to live out our lives and learn our karmic lessons in this life along with the rest of the beings on this blue marble we call Earth. If you are a fellow warrior, now is the time to be vocal, to not be afraid to stand up in church, at dinner tables, parties, wherever hatred is espoused against fellow humans whom happen to be homosexual. It is time to call people out on their hatred wrapped in religious justifications. The year is 2009, it is time for us to get over this to move on to bigger and greater things like saving this Earth before we completely extinguish ourselves. That, my friends is the real threat to humanity. If my mother were Pope, that is what she would preach. Why is it again that women can't be pope?

Pope accused of stoking homophobia after he equates homosexuality to climate change:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article5387858.ece

Listen to the recording of my mother's show where we debate over closeted celebrities (in Spanish) 1/9/09 http://www.miunicast.com/Public/Media/DraIsabel-2009.01.09.mp3

"GAY" is the new "BLACK"

While I am exhilarated by the election of our shiny, new president Obama, the first presidential candidate that has ever been vocal in his support for the gay community, on the flip side i've been brought down from my "high" at the realization that while we made one large step forward, some small religious extremist groups in this country have succeeded to yet again tarnish the American Dream for all in their efforts to create a faux, holy utopia without us "gays". That envisioned utopia used to be one without any blacks, latinos or anyone that wasn't purely American and white. Since these extremist groups realized long ago that goal was impossible, they have settled on an easier target for their holy war, "By golly. let's get them gays and fix this country."

These groups; The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Catholic organizations such as the Knights of Columbus (http://www.kofc.org/), the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, the Saint Andrews Alms fund, the National Organizaton for marriage http://www.nationformarriage.org/, and the American Family Association http://www.afa.net/, all non-profits and have all collected large sums of money from their followers to write discrimination into the books across our country.

Let's call a spade a spade, these folks are our Taliban or "Ameri-bans", governed by their fear of the modern world as the Taliban in the Middle East. It is their "Jihad" and their satisfaction will only come when they see no homosexuals in the public light by either curing them or pushing them so far into the closet that they are invisible again. The only thing is, who will be their next target for a holy war? Unwed mothers, single mothers, couples living together that don't want to marry? There will always be a target for them. Today the gays are the target who will they attack next?

Now what I find painfully ironic is the groups that have been mostly discriminated against in this country; latinos and blacks were the ones that poll numbers have shown, widely voted for these discriminatory measures which ultimately passed.

Gay is the new black! Although blacks and latinos don't like to call it discrimination, although it is wrapped up in a blanket of religion, it is still a pig in a blanket.

The late wife of Martin Luther King; Coretta Scott King said in a speech at the Palmer House Hilton Hotel in Chicago in 1998, “Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spreads all too easily to victimize the next minority group,” Mrs. King explained. We are currently in a civil rights movement in this country and it will only grow louder until we win our equality and legal protection. In the words of a gay protester in South Florida, "No more Mr. Nice Gay!".

Anti-LGBT marriage bans passed in Florida and Arizona, and in Arkansas voters voted to bar all unmarried people, LGBT or straight, from adopting children or serving as foster parents. California's proposition 8 passed as well, preventing any further marriages of same sex couples to take place, statewide.

But that's enough about "them" let's now focus on us, the positive, forward thinking, non fearful, challenge and adventure-loving Americans. What can we do to win this ideological war against hatred?

I'll take this opportunity to blog about a blogger;

It's about time that another individual rose from the ranks to lead my people (the gays) a la Harvey Milk, to a new level. This new leader is a blogger named Amy Balliett who happens to be a lesbian. She blogs to the world from Seattle and several weeks ago she wrote calling for a national day of protest against the passage of California’s anti-gay marriage Proposition 8. Her blog spread like a gay virus, soon after, more than one million people read the blog. One blog created history, on November 15th at exactly 1:30 p.m. EST, dozens of cities across this great country staged peaceful protests where thousands attended. Gays, straight allies, politicians, citizens of the US attended in solidarity. This was truly a grassroots campaign in every sense of the word. All started by the greatest invention ever created; the Internet and one person's vision. I've never been so proud to be gay and an IT Help Desk Manager at the same time.

The next big event that you can take part in is a Day Without a Gay on December 10th. http://daywithoutagay.org/ The time has come to really show the nation who we are and how much we contribute to it's growth and add to it's society. I am, we are citizens of the USA who deserve equal protections under the law!

We have a lot of work to do, DOMA (Defense of Marriage act) http://www.domawatch.org/index.php exists in 37 states in the US and it must be overturned just as the laws preventing women from voting and interracial marriages have been overturned in this country. History is on our side, you cannot continue to repress such a large group of human beings and expect them to just go away. We just need to better organize, focus on what is most important right now, maintain positivity (which has always been easy for us) and finally to speak out to everyone we know. Affect all of your circles of influence, instigate conversations on the topic and read up on the topics so you know what you are talking about. We cannot allow these small extremist and soon to be dinosaur groups of Ameri-bans in this country to take us back to the dark ages. We will overcome this! We will KEEP ON RISING! (queue music now)


Gay is the New Black video documentary

http://video.newsweek.com/#?t=4122447001&l=2269776001

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Positive highlights of our recent advances and a message from Joe Solomnese, President of the HRC (Human Rights Campaign).

We increased the ranks of pro-equality lawmakers in both the House and the Senate. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO), ringleader of the campaign to write discrimination into the U.S. Constitution, was soundly defeated. Jared Polis (D-CO) became the first openly gay man ever to be elected to Congress as a non-incumbent. Democrats took the New York State Senate, giving us our best chance ever to pass a same-sex marriage law in a legislature. We won the right to marry in Conneticut and marriages there have already begun.

With Obama in office we can now pass critical LGBT equality measures like the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act and begin unraveling the damage of the last eight years.

Moving forward, HRC will:
Continue our efforts to win incremental victories for relationship recognition, so that legally married lesbian and gay couples in Massachusetts and Connecticut have full standing under federal law; the same holds true for civil unions and domestic partnerships in places like New Hampshire, Vermont and Oregon.

As Obama said last night, “That's the true genius of America – that America can change.”

Yesterday, an unfortunate majority of voters stood with the most extreme and negative elements of society to deny the rights of loving and committed gay and lesbian couples. But it’s not the first time that has happened to us, and it won’t be the last.

"It doesn’t change the fact that we are married. It doesn’t change the fact that we have families. Make no mistake. We are bowed, but not discouraged. We are sad, but not disheartened. We grieve, but not as those who are without hope. "

Joe Solmonese President http://www.hrc.org/
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's a couple of easy ways you can help with a click: sign the Anger into Action Declaration here: http://www.kintera.org/c.qkIWKaMZIxF/b.4746361/k.29E1/Anger_Into_Action_Declaration/siteapps/advocacy/ActionItem.aspx
Over 200,000 people have already signed the pledge—and thousands more are signing every day. Even non-Californians are signing the pledge in solidarity. If you'd like to sign, click here:
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51024&id=15119-6248121-aS9KyPx&t=2

After you've signed, be sure to share with your friends and family, post to your Facebook page, and get the word out.

Sign a petition to overturn ammendment 2 in Florida:
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/amendment2/

Keith Olbermann's passionate plea to the religious right in this country:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVUecPhQPqY