This Gay Rights Tango- Our Dance Towards Full Equality

On December 28th, 2009 Evita Peron's smile beamed down on her country from her Presidential Palace in the heavens above. Always an ardent fighter for the repressed and poor, Latin America's first gay marriage would've brought tears of joy to this goddess of Argentina's history. Evita has said "A decent woman is one who rides roughshod over machos."

This national icon and eternal fag-hag would be proud knowing that in her country, the "gay's" had finally overcome the bully that is the powerful Roman Catholic Church to finally witness the marriage of Latin America's first gay couple. Latin America, like the Middle East has a strong male dominant society where tolerance of sexual diversity is non-existent and violence against gays is a common occurrence. This marriage highlights the cracks in the system that has kept gay communities silent and fearful and that it is indeed crumbling.

A little less free but a lot more gay and happy

This whole marriage thing is a hallmark that we finally have the self-esteem to believe that another man is worth loving for the rest of your life. That we ourselves are good enough to marry another and have a chance at something as sparkling clean as a true love that may last a lifetime. It is a coming of age for a generation of gay men, forging a free and truly gay life for future generations of our gay brethren. In the words of Latin America's first groom, "Because "our" family is worth it.".

Worldwide, the advances have been peppered with setbacks in a strange 1-2 step tango. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, 1 step sideways, cha cha cha.

Back to America, I wait for my partner of a year and a half to return from our local grocery store to fetch Almond milk when suddenly my 8 year old nephew blurts out, "Tio, I dont want you to be gay anymore!". A pregnant moment of silence later, I whip my head to the back seat and see my nephew avoiding my gaze, visibly upset and looking out the window. This is a boy that has been an integral part of my life for 8 years, and the son of a single mom whom is my sister. He has always accepted me and my life and my partner as normally as anyone would of a normal heterosexual couple. He has simply never known hate and is as pure as the day he was born, which is partly why he can make friends with anyone of any age, color or social class within seconds of meeting them. It is one of his greatest qualities and he's as magnaminous as Obama in that respect. At a loss for words, I ask him, "Why would you say that to me? Who did you talk to about this?". He replied back still looking out the window, "These boys at school said that gays shouldn't be in this country and need to go away.". Black and white images of civil rights protests where policemen spray down black protesters in the middle of the street came to mind. I was being talked about the way the racists in the 60's talked about blacks. They wished they would just all go away. The irony of the account was blaringly obvious. I replied to him "Well, honey you know that is what you call "hate"and when your grandma came to this country from Cuba there were signs posted on buildings saying "No Cubans". It was very hard for her to get a job or to find a place to live because the people in Miami didn't want Cubans in this country either. Since your father is a black man living in Venezuela, he also has to deal with people hating him because of his color. I can't stop being gay any more than your grandmother can stop being Latino or your father being black. The next time you hear those boys saying things like that you stand up to them and tell them that's not right and tell your teacher.". My nephew finally turned away from the window and looks at me with doeful and watery eyes, "Ok Tio, I love you.". I reply, "I love you too."

I recount this incident because there is no greater hypocrisy than when a group that has survived marginalization to go and downplay another marginalized group's struggle. They should be the first one's running to the plate to help fight the battle. When Black religious leaders stand at their podiums and preach that their civil rights movement has nothing in common with ours or that we are "pimping their movement", I call "bullshit" because it IS the same. The same hatred, the same narrow mindedness, the same ignorance, the same rhetoric and the same limitations and dangers to my life. So much so, that the team fighting to overturn Proposition 8 as I write this blog has used the example that our President Obama would never have been born if the laws prohibiting blacks from marrying whites were never overturned in this country.

We are witnessing one of the most crucial battles in American history that may not go in our favor due to an overly conservative Supreme Court but we will keep fighting because it is our right to do so and the limits to our rights are constitutionally wrong.

The growing worldwide tide for our cause may be the only thing to finally wrestle the medieval chokehold the religious right has on this country and it's politics and push our courts to finally overturn this legislated discrimination.

As we look forward to (2010) twenty-ten (doesn't that sound positive?), we see a world wrangling together to help a devastated Haitian country with thousands dead and we are pushed to begin a year with a thoughtful focus on humanity and unity. Hopefully this focus will carry on throughout the year and years to come as we will eventually break through and gain our full equality in this great country where anything is possible. Maybe then we can stop doing this Gay Rights back and forth Tango and finally waltz our asses to our nearest city hall and finally get married.

Gay right's milestones 2009

*Mexico City is first Latin American city to legalize full, gay marriage.
*Uganda plans a bill that would serve a death penalty to homosexuals in that country.
*Obama promises to end Dont Ask Dont Tell to a crowd of gay activists at a fundraiser.
*Argentina passes full gay marriage rights.
*An Argentinian judge puts a hold on Argentina's first gay marriage in order to "review" the ruling then approves after their home province backs the marriage.
*Washington D.C. passes gay marriage.
*New York votes defeats gay marriage bill.
*Portugal passes full gay marriage rights with adoption rights granted by April 2010.
*Voters in Maine vote against gay marriage rejecting the measure.
*The biggest city in America, Houston, Texas elects the first openly gay mayor of any U.S. city.
*California's Supreme Court upholds the discriminatory Proposition 8.
*Sweden approves same sex marriage.
*Iowa and Vermont sign legislation to allow gay marriage.
*Obama signs into law the Matthew Shepard hate crimes act and extends federal benefits to partners of same sex couples.


Milestones to look forward to for 2010

*Hawaii will review legislature to revive civil unions for gays in that state.
*Senator Carl Levin will schedule a hearing to discuss ending the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy.
*The Supreme Court will vote on whether or not Proposition 8 should be overturned.

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Time magazine's gay right's timeline:
http://www.time.com/time/interactive/0,31813,1904681,00.html

To get up to date info on the Supreme Court trial go to:
http://www.couragecampaign.org/GetTheTruthOut

Hawaii will vote for Gay Civil Unions this year:
http://www.gayvantage.com/gay-news/hawaii-legislators-to-vote-on-civil-unions-3748291780/

Repeal of the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell to be debated on Capitol Hill 2010:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/gay-military-ban-military_n_422893.html

The United States elects it's first openly gay mayor:
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1947648,00.html

The debbie-downer-Pope at it again-calling gay marriage an "attack"
http://advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/01/11/Pope_Calls_Gay_Marriage_an_Attack/

Latin America weds it's first gay couple:
http://news.yahoo.com/video/world-15749633/argentina-hosts-first-gay-marriage-in-latin-america-17352907

Rapture Lost- An Abductee's Lament

Like a huge, hairy, clump of grease clogging the bathroom sink, this public confession has blocked my free flow of writing to this blog for over a month now.

I am an alien abductee, not your average abductee seen time and time again on the big screen. I am absolutely not a helpless victim.

Each night for me since I was old enough to remember, was a struggle. I would do all I could to stay up and not fall asleep like a victimized character in the movie Nightmare on Elm Street, I fought to not fall asleep because I knew that's when Freddy Krueger would come for me. Of course, I knew it wasn't Freddy but their presence in my room in the middle of the night scared me just the same.

It doesn't matter to me if my psychologist mom withholds ajudication regarding my reports of being visited by my otherworldly compadres or that others I tell snicker and secretly think I'm a little nuts. No more proof is necessary for me. The lessons are mine and are a rare gift. I've seen and touched too much to deny away my outlandish nightly journeys.

The problem is now for whatever reason, the visits have long subsided. I guess a mission has been accomplished. I guess their goal of creating a hybrid race with ours has been completed to their satisfaction. After so many years of this "bad romance" I am left yearning for more; missing their weekly presence in my nights and in my psyche. I miss when I would wake up in my bed and see dimensions unfolding before my eyes and the walls of my room undulate as if they were no longer solid. I miss being transformed into a million particles like TV boy from Willy Wonka and feel myself float upwards through my ceiling of my room. I miss the "teaching theater" where so many images were impressed upon me and seeing the genetically perfect hybrids communicating telepathically. I miss being inside their perfect ships with their greenhouses of frozen plants and animals from Earth and how they would come alive at the touch of my finger. I miss feeling my skin stimulated and hair stand on end by knowing they were watching me any where that I went at any given moment. Ahh those were the days.

I don't blame anyone for not believing because to believe it is to allow the biggest mindbend you have ever known, so big that all that you know of human history, religion and taught reality is obliterated, never to be tucked into it's neat little box ever again.

If you think the Evangelical "Ameri-bans" of the world are having a tough time with the whole gay issue, imagine the shit-storm that's gonna hit when we are contacted on a worldwide level. Those god fearin' folks arent going to know what to do with their creation stories they so fervently judge us by. What would happen to religion if people realize Adam and Eve was possibly just a lab experiment by higher life forms seeding this planet as a sort of conservatory for future use? What if "they" are just "us" from the future trying to prevent our own destruction.

What if Jesus wasn't we thought but just an alien with good intentions a' la Mother Teresa? What if the gods on Mount Olympus were just a bunch of folks with some really cool, techy gadgets weve never seen before? How can we suppose to know what's what out in the universe when we just discovered there was water on the moon (2009) and every year we find hundreds of plant and animal species on this planet we didn't even know existed? Our scientists don't even completely understand how our own brains function. Denying ET is out there is the equivalent of an Amazon tribe untouched by modern society suddenly meeting a scientist stepping down from a shiny new helicopter. They'd call him a God and be struck in awe with his magic as well.

A debunker can say these things happen to me because I need the stimulation and am bored with this life. I do need the stimulation and am eternally thankful to be saved from a life of boredom through my trips with them. The same can be said for the millions that believe in a Christ figure they've never seen because they need to. No one has actually found hard evidence of Christ's body yet so many millions still believe. Year after year, there are countless reports of people, pilots, military and police officers from all corners of our globe sighting strange crafts in the sky and there are still so many like me in the closet, afraid of ridicule if they were ever to "come out" with their secret.

There are many who believe that the whole Christ story was copied from other figures to corral and manage the masses. Google these ancient gods; Horus, Mithra, Buddha, Krishna and you will find that they all came before Jesus and they all have uncanny resemblances to the whole Jesus story; virgin birth, born on December 25th, 12 disciples, resurrection, the similarities are so many that blatant plagiarism comes to mind.

We're all just freckles on God's ass and we keep thinking were not only the center of it all but that were all that's out there. Whether you believe in my abductions or not is irrelevant. Like Obama says about our nation's health care, "it isn't about me", there is intelligent life out there and sooner or later we're going to have to deal with that test and the re-examination of our belief systems that inevitably will go along with that historic and much anticipated open worldwide contact. Hopefully, they'll get here before we cook ourselves to death with our addiction to fossil fuels and hesitant dinosaur-esque resistance to change.

I continue to miss the mind-fuck that is. Like a lover that hurts you but you can't get enough of because you know in some way the pain is teaching you something. Lady Gaga coins it perfectly, "you and me can write a bad romance". I guess I have a bad romance with my alien abductors. I am more bored than afrain and I just wanna take a ride....somewhere far out into the unknown. 

In the words of Greg Sandow, "We're dealing with giant questions, questions that challenge our understanding of who we are and where we fit in the universe. Worse still, we can't even imagine the limits of any possible answers. Does that leave us helpless? It shouldn't -- in fact, it can't, if we ever expect to know where we stand. We just have to keep our wits about us, weigh the evidence very carefully -- and agree in advance not to rule anything out."

After more than 35 years and so many extraordinary experiences, lessons and sleepless nights, I'm years past caring if anyone believes me or the repurcussions of this confession. Rather I am more concerned on the continual denial and secrecy revolving this part of our history by various governments all over the planet. This "coming out" is just as important as any other. The discussion needs to be had, our minds must conceptualize more.

I am confident that in our lifetimes, a time will come where everyone will know the truth and the lies will no longer imprison so many. That truth will neutralize and render meaningless all the divisive belief systems of this planet. It will be the single-most unifying event for the human race on this planet and man will be forever improved for it. We need their technology now before we destroy ourselves. Open contact with intelligent life is the missing link that could liberate and catapult humanity from fossil fuel addiction, poverty, resource wars and religious fueled conflicts as well as the war on terrorism. Contact on a global level will not happen until we want it to, until we are ready to receive them.

In a seemingly pre-emptive stance of something to come, the Vatican debates and admits that it is not outside of god's realm for intelligent life to be out there. 11/11/2009. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/33864136#33864136

Abductee support group in New England. http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=8330290

Evidence of Alien-Human hybridization- Starchild skull information: http://www.youtube.com/officiallloydpye

To report any sightings or experiences contact MUFON: http://www.mufon.com/

A good site for more information on abduction experience:
http://www.crystalinks.com/abduction.html

Jaguar-Ville Coming Soon to a TV Screen Near You

On my the morning of my 40th birthday, I sip coffee taking an unusual pause to savor it's black-bittersweet goodness and then take a conscious, deep breath for the first time as a sporty-40 year old Latino, gay, American man. It's disorienting to have a self-conceptualized age clash so drastically with your real one, In my mind I stopped aging at 28.

I absorb the energy and electricity of the highway below my balcony and notice a billboard just put up the night before, announcing a new TV show with Courtney Cox called CougarTown. It's set in South Florida and is about a Cougar divorcee' realizing truths about aging and dating. I snicker at the clever title for a new, cool show that may or may not be a hit. It made me think of the nicknames or epithets we create for each other. All the categories and containers that us humans love to put ourselves in. Like a farmer sorting his livestock into different pens, humans like to coin nicknames to group types of people. I guess it's some primal survival instinct to put people into logical containers so we know what to expect from them. I never felt like I belonged to any typical gay-nickname container group. I related to being a latino and American but not the everyday-gay you see around. I believe the minute you completely own the title society gives you, you are in essence contained and as a result limited to other experiences out of that box. Like a Cuban or Argentinian that can't conceive of any other latin culture as great as his own. We run the risk of becoming ethno and homo-centric all at once.

I don't relate to leather queens, so I'm not a leather daddy. I'm not a Cub or a Chub Chaser. I'm definitely not a Twink nor am I a Muscle Queen. I'm not a Tweakerella (druggged up gay) or a self-hating gay. I'm not a Fem nor am I a Butch. I'm close to being one of those "straight-acting gays" only that I don't "act" straight, I'm just a masculine gay guy and am completely healthy in expressing and defining my emotions. I guess I could be close to an Otter (a tall, thin, hairy gay guy) but I'm not hairy.

After all this thinking (this coffee's got me running circles in my mind) I realize there isn't a term for an older, (40+), hot gay guy that may or may not date younger men like "Cougar" is for older straight, hot women. I rack my head for a nickname fitting enough to describe this social group left out of our everyday vocabulary. "Sugar Daddy" is close but has a negative connotation of a loveless relationship where an over-the-hill kind of guy pays younger boys to be with him. There has to be a more dignified term for such virile, accomplished, balanced and yes, still hot, gay man. Then we have the new "GRAMP" group which is a new term for a "gay-rich-alone-middle aged-positive" gay man but that's a bit sad and not as funny or light as "Cougar". It'd have to be a species of cat such as Cougar for the simple reason that both like to hunt fresh meat. Gray Wolf came through my mind but not all 40+ men are graying. Hmm, Puma...nah. That connotates a youthful energy or a young-buck kind of gay. Then my boyfriend suggested, Jaguar and with the speed of a brief gay gasp, a new container was born!

Jaguar's are fierce creatures to contend with; fast, strong, slick, elegant, powerful, excellent hunters and like the car -very sporty and slick. So the next time you see a 40+ guy with a sexy, young number on his arm. Say to yourself, "Check out that Jaguar over there. He's an older guy that's still got it going on." So there you have it. You have full permission to steal it. I eagerly await the moment someone first calls me a Jag, there certainly are worse names someone can call you.

Only thing is, although it would be a compliment, I don't feel like a Jaguar and I've never really felt ONLY gay--I like to think myself in Walt Whitman terms, "I am large, I contain multitudes.". I feel like so many things more than any one title can define. So when the novelty or humor of the labels like Cougar, Jaguar, Otter, Twink, Breeder, Diesel-Dyke or whatever, wear off and the pendulum swings from trying so hard to fit in a group to finally realizing we are all one with a whole lotta' different colors, maybe then we'll get "it"- and our labels won't limit us anymore. The stereotypes will finally be outgrown and shed like tortoises' shells. We will finally be free to surprise people again, contain "multitudes" and maybe just grow up enough to stop calling each other names at all.

Cougar Town:


What is a GRAMP?http://www.bilerico.com/2009/08/hes_in_love_with_a_gramp_gay_rich_alone_middle-age.php

What is a gay Otter or Wolf?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070222165717AAN3nSu

Article on Cougars:
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/dating-older-women-does-age-matter?page=2

A new kind of gay, the "Straight edger":
http://www.gaysofla.com/content/view/21/1/

Origin of gay sea otter term-perhaps http://lordsofapathy.blogspot.com/2007/03/gay-otters-terrorize-on-lookers-at-zoo.html

The Death of Canela Cafe'

Tonight my family and friends mourn the death of a large part of our lives for the last 4 years; Canela Cafe'. Another casualty of this horrible recession, she was unable to heal from hemorraging money. She was born January 14, 2005 and died September 14, 2009. Canela Cafe' was more than just a place to get some "Latin Soul Food", it was an integral part of the community in which it resided; the Design District area or Miami's Upper East side as developers like to call it. She was birthed and tirelessly maintained from day one, 7 days a week for 4 years by her doting mother, Margarita Vasallo. It was her sole passion in life. So much so, that you could taste it in every bite of the scrumptious menu.

You could literally savor the unprocessed love dripping from every morsel as if she were the chef in the classic movie, Like Water for Chocolate. People may have complained about the service now and then but her magic touch for good ol' sazon' was without reproach. She won the awards, Best Cuban Food in Miami by New Times 2 months after opening and earlier this year, Best Tapas in Miami. She attracted the likes of foodie, Chris Cognac from the Food Detective and even hosted indpendent films with Madonna's baby daddy, Carlos Leon. Gloria Estefan ate there and even Miami's own hollywood starlet, Catherine Keener. The oasis of comfort food or as I liked to call it "community center" affected so many and had so many lives intertwined that it took on a life of it's own in many ways. It was the epitome of the American Dream for a second generation Cuban exile living in America recreating the cafe' her grandfather left behind on Havana's malecon in the famed art deco gem, Lopez Serrano building. The walls were lined with photos of family past and present and all who came to eat felt like they were at a family gathering. The good times and good food shared within it's hearth will live on in the hearts and minds of the souls that were lucky enough to discover her hidden charm in the middle of MIA. She nourished a community not only with food but with pure love and a heartfelt desire to host a good time for all.

If you've ever had the pleasure of tasting her food or spending time in Canela, please go to her Facebook page and post any good memories that you can recall. It will mean the world to a mother who gave so much to her community.

Fiestas De Gracia y Sants - Barcelona 2009

Returning to one of my favorite cities on this planet was a much anticipated event. It was made possible thanks to my sister paying my way so I could escort her kids over so they could enjoy their summer vacation with their Spanish cousins in a Villa about 2 hours from Barcelona. Being Julie Andrews in The Sound Of Music was an unexpectedly enriching experience for me. It was the first time that I was absolutely responsible for three children ranging from ages 7-15. I, for a moment was a parent and it felt pretty darn good. I didn't have too much trouble on our 15 hour voyage from Boston to Barcelona as my sister's kids are about the best kids you will ever find. Their personalities are as if they were adults trapped in a kid's body. Ever so aware and conscious of the world around them with a kid's sense of humor. My smallest niece started collecting all the vomit bags from the plane's seats and I was soon amused at the reason why. She was drawing faces on each one and making hand puppets out of them. Who would've thought that a vomit bag could be used as an entertainment device. How's that for ingenuity?

Arriving in the uber-modern new airport terminal at Barcelona airport, we were quickly whisked away to the country to the small town of Banyoles. We pulled up to a very old, stone villa remodeled and with a beautiful, modern pool (the only one in town). The villa overlooked a small valley, olive trees and all. It was as picturesque as a Goya painting.

The honeymoon ended quickly after spending a very hot and moist night barely catching any sleep as a result of a wild hog (Javali') screaming underneath my window as if a woman was getting raped and a bat flying into my room and hitting me on my forehead (no joke). Summer in Spain is just as hot as summer in Miami, difference is Miami has air conditioning. It didn't help that there was a pig farm next town over that deposited a thick aroma of pig poop into the air on it's way up the hill to our villa. I learned how to control my gag reflex about every 5 minutes. Needless to say, I was at the Bus Station on the 3rd day to visit my high school crush, Ivy (before I knew I was a big homo) in the energetic and ever so bohemian city of Barcelona. Bye Bye Banyoles.

The last time I had visited the "other Magic city" it was december and very chilly. I had no idea that it was OK to wear flip flops, shorts and tank tops in an European city. In Italy it is a faux-pas to wear shorts because it reminds Italians of when they were forced to wear dorky long shorts when they were kids. This trip I avoided the typical Gaudi tourist stops as I had seen them last year. I focused on parks and walking the different historic and rich neighborhoods. My all time fave is the Born neighborhood which is a European version of SoHo. Lots of original boutiques, great fashion, cafe's, cool people and of course my "gays". Born has a very large park and is very close to La Barceloneta beach area. It's the medieval core of the city with narrow cobblestone streets and cathedrals intact.

The weekend arrived and Ivy decided that we should go to see the festival of Fiestas De Gracia y Sants which are two different neighborhoods that have been doing this street thang for about 750 years now. The city was originally called Barcino by Hannibal's dad who founded it about 2000 years ago, has a hefty lead on Miami on throwing a party. They do it in spades. The yearly street party is a well oiled machine and community leaders take part in designing and coordinating the year's designs in the same way the Samba schools in Brazil plan and compete for their carnivals throughout the year. This year, all the designs had to be executed with recyclable materials. There was Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom replete with Aliens, Japanese Gardens, Monte Carlo Casino every street was different. There was one surreal street lined with toys and candy and was made even more cool with a Cuban band playing and kids drinking mojitos. Each street had their own bands or DJ's, bars, and tons of people from all over the world just having a good time chillaxin'.

The climax was the battle of the tribes, Les Dracs (the dragons), Colla Vella (old devil's tail) and Diabolica (the devilish ones). This consisted of a good old fashioned street battle where each tribe tries to pass and the other blocks with walls of people and taunting chants. They finally break through the blockaded narrow streets with explosions and fireworks spraying everyone, including the onlookers. My badge of honor was about 10 burned spots on my scalp as well as my shirt. Marching bands of drummers followed the opening of the blockades followed with hundreds of onlookers and visitors laughing, drinking and dancing. It was a page out of a Roman Bacchanalian feast. The high was like no other. I ended up dancing in the middle of a plaza with my new-found friend named Giusi (juicy) from Naples who came to visit the city years ago and never went back home.

The finale was in the main plaza with a balcony stuffed with the community's leaders overlooking the performance, the large dragon and Gaudi's iguana from Park Guell came through and sprayed a volcano of fireworks over everyone then fire throwers and music ensued. Everyone was rolling on the same good vibration. It was one of those nights you store away in your brain and take out on "blue" days, the memory bringing peace in the knowing that you've lived a little in this life.

I believe every trip you take changes you a little. You learn things about others and about yourself, how these two entities relate to each other and how colorful and wonderful our world is.

I learned that you should never not sit at the lunch table in Spain even though you aren't hungry. In Spain, lunch is very important.

I learned that you should definitely pack tank tops and sandals when you go to Spain in the summer.

I learned that it's perfectly legal to be completely naked in the streets of Barcelona but walking around without your shirt on is not permitted.

I learned that while salaries really suck in Spain, they find a way to live a really good life with a lot less money but they complain just as much as Americans do about not having enough money.

I learned that Catalonians don't really have much that is taboo to them. They are pretty much cool about anything. They are dignified like the French and proud of their country but are much more relaxed about it.

I learned that if you're Muslim and if you live in Banyoles you will be very pissed at the constant smell of pig shit wafting it's way into your nostrils at every moment of every day.

Most of all I learned that you don't ask a married woman if she's "caliente" in front of her husband because it doesn't mean "hot", it means "sexually turned on".

http://w3.bcn.es/V01/Serveis/Noticies/V01NoticiesLlistatNoticiesCtl/0,2138,290652295_302361084_2_929558397,00.html?accio=detall&home=

http://www.tribunalatina.com/es/notices/fiestas_de_gracia_y_sants_en_barcelona_13546.php
http://www.festamajordegracia.cat/

Brief history of Barcelona as a city: http://www.cursos.org/cee/eng/ba

Why You Have to See Bruno the Movie

Going in to the movie; Bruno I had heard why the gay community was up and arms about a scene in the film where an adopted baby was in a hot tub with uber-gay, femme fatale Bruno and his gay playmates while one was eating another guy's arse. The producers apparently promised to remove the scene but never did. I fully expected it to be a "it's your turn gays" to take some satire and some tongue-in-cheek jabs at ourselves (as if we haven't had enough already). Regardless, I am open to these tests and I went anyway. Going in, I realized how few of my gay brethren were in attendance. Being a theater in the heart of the gay mecca that is South Beach hetero\homo ratio is about 50/50. The audience was actually very straight, about 95% on the Kinsey's scale. There were a good amount of African American viewers as well which is uncommon to the area as well. The movie took me through so many uncomfortable yet funny moments that I found myself covering my face and hiding behind my girlfriend's shoulder from the embarrasingly gay, screaming nelly on the screen. Growing up yearning to see my people represented in film, I finally got my wish but not in the same way I envisioned. It was unbearable to see all the extreme stereotypes that I have dreamed would one day be cleared away as soon as Richard Simmons passed away.

As Sacha Baron Cohen's (a straight Jew from London) antics progressed I realized that the film was not poking fun at the gay way of life but at society's extreme stereotypes of us and the extreme factions within our society that are vehemently opposed to our ways. As the theater emptied I took joy in seeing the confused faces of all the folks who thought they were going to a Hollywood sanctioned gay-bashing. The joke was on them. They paid 10 dollars each to see a reflection of a part of themselves in the homophobic, backward-ass cretans and religious freaks that hate us so for no good reason apart from that society has always reassured them that they they're right and we are wrong. Bruno left them with a lot to think about and with a possibly newfound motivation but nevertheless a motivation to separate themselves from the neanderthals on the screen. Don't reject Bruno for being such a flaming homo just yet, he might just be our best ally yet.

Bruno hits Miami:


Bruno at a Christian Rock concert:


Bruno vs. Skinheads: