Friday, December 25, 2009

Rapture Lost- An Abductee's Lament

Like a huge, hairy, clump of grease clogging the bathroom sink, this public confession has blocked my free flow of writing to this blog for over a month now.

I am an alien abductee, not your average abductee seen time and time again on the big screen. I am absolutely not a helpless victim.

Each night for me since I was old enough to remember, was a struggle. I would do all I could to stay up and not fall asleep like a victimized character in the movie Nightmare on Elm Street, I fought to not fall asleep because I knew that's when Freddy Krueger would come for me. Of course, I knew it wasn't Freddy but their presence in my room in the middle of the night scared me just the same.

It doesn't matter to me if my psychologist mom withholds ajudication regarding my reports of being visited by my otherworldly compadres or that others I tell snicker and secretly think I'm a little nuts. No more proof is necessary for me. The lessons are mine and are a rare gift. I've seen and touched too much to deny away my outlandish nightly journeys.

The problem is now for whatever reason, the visits have long subsided. I guess a mission has been accomplished. I guess their goal of creating a hybrid race with ours has been completed to their satisfaction. After so many years of this "bad romance" I am left yearning for more; missing their weekly presence in my nights and in my psyche. I miss when I would wake up in my bed and see dimensions unfolding before my eyes and the walls of my room undulate as if they were no longer solid. I miss being transformed into a million particles like TV boy from Willy Wonka and feel myself float upwards through my ceiling of my room. I miss the "teaching theater" where so many images were impressed upon me and seeing the genetically perfect hybrids communicating telepathically. I miss being inside their perfect ships with their greenhouses of frozen plants and animals from Earth and how they would come alive at the touch of my finger. I miss feeling my skin stimulated and hair stand on end by knowing they were watching me any where that I went at any given moment. Ahh those were the days.

I don't blame anyone for not believing because to believe it is to allow the biggest mindbend you have ever known, so big that all that you know of human history, religion and taught reality is obliterated, never to be tucked into it's neat little box ever again.

If you think the Evangelical "Ameri-bans" of the world are having a tough time with the whole gay issue, imagine the shit-storm that's gonna hit when we are contacted on a worldwide level. Those god fearin' folks arent going to know what to do with their creation stories they so fervently judge us by. What would happen to religion if people realize Adam and Eve was possibly just a lab experiment by higher life forms seeding this planet as a sort of conservatory for future use? What if "they" are just "us" from the future trying to prevent our own destruction.

What if Jesus wasn't we thought but just an alien with good intentions a' la Mother Teresa? What if the gods on Mount Olympus were just a bunch of folks with some really cool, techy gadgets weve never seen before? How can we suppose to know what's what out in the universe when we just discovered there was water on the moon (2009) and every year we find hundreds of plant and animal species on this planet we didn't even know existed? Our scientists don't even completely understand how our own brains function. Denying ET is out there is the equivalent of an Amazon tribe untouched by modern society suddenly meeting a scientist stepping down from a shiny new helicopter. They'd call him a God and be struck in awe with his magic as well.

A debunker can say these things happen to me because I need the stimulation and am bored with this life. I do need the stimulation and am eternally thankful to be saved from a life of boredom through my trips with them. The same can be said for the millions that believe in a Christ figure they've never seen because they need to. No one has actually found hard evidence of Christ's body yet so many millions still believe. Year after year, there are countless reports of people, pilots, military and police officers from all corners of our globe sighting strange crafts in the sky and there are still so many like me in the closet, afraid of ridicule if they were ever to "come out" with their secret.

There are many who believe that the whole Christ story was copied from other figures to corral and manage the masses. Google these ancient gods; Horus, Mithra, Buddha, Krishna and you will find that they all came before Jesus and they all have uncanny resemblances to the whole Jesus story; virgin birth, born on December 25th, 12 disciples, resurrection, the similarities are so many that blatant plagiarism comes to mind.

We're all just freckles on God's ass and we keep thinking were not only the center of it all but that were all that's out there. Whether you believe in my abductions or not is irrelevant. Like Obama says about our nation's health care, "it isn't about me", there is intelligent life out there and sooner or later we're going to have to deal with that test and the re-examination of our belief systems that inevitably will go along with that historic and much anticipated open worldwide contact. Hopefully, they'll get here before we cook ourselves to death with our addiction to fossil fuels and hesitant dinosaur-esque resistance to change.

I continue to miss the mind-fuck that is. Like a lover that hurts you but you can't get enough of because you know in some way the pain is teaching you something. Lady Gaga coins it perfectly, "you and me can write a bad romance". I guess I have a bad romance with my alien abductors. I am more bored than afrain and I just wanna take a ride....somewhere far out into the unknown. 

In the words of Greg Sandow, "We're dealing with giant questions, questions that challenge our understanding of who we are and where we fit in the universe. Worse still, we can't even imagine the limits of any possible answers. Does that leave us helpless? It shouldn't -- in fact, it can't, if we ever expect to know where we stand. We just have to keep our wits about us, weigh the evidence very carefully -- and agree in advance not to rule anything out."

After more than 35 years and so many extraordinary experiences, lessons and sleepless nights, I'm years past caring if anyone believes me or the repurcussions of this confession. Rather I am more concerned on the continual denial and secrecy revolving this part of our history by various governments all over the planet. This "coming out" is just as important as any other. The discussion needs to be had, our minds must conceptualize more.

I am confident that in our lifetimes, a time will come where everyone will know the truth and the lies will no longer imprison so many. That truth will neutralize and render meaningless all the divisive belief systems of this planet. It will be the single-most unifying event for the human race on this planet and man will be forever improved for it. We need their technology now before we destroy ourselves. Open contact with intelligent life is the missing link that could liberate and catapult humanity from fossil fuel addiction, poverty, resource wars and religious fueled conflicts as well as the war on terrorism. Contact on a global level will not happen until we want it to, until we are ready to receive them.

In a seemingly pre-emptive stance of something to come, the Vatican debates and admits that it is not outside of god's realm for intelligent life to be out there. 11/11/2009.

Abductee support group in New England.

Evidence of Alien-Human hybridization- Starchild skull information:

To report any sightings or experiences contact MUFON:

A good site for more information on abduction experience:

Friday, September 25, 2009

Jaguar-Ville Coming Soon to a TV Screen Near You

On my the morning of my 40th birthday, I sip coffee taking an unusual pause to savor it's black-bittersweet goodness and then take a conscious, deep breath for the first time as a sporty-40 year old Latino, gay, American man. It's disorienting to have a self-conceptualized age clash so drastically with your real one, In my mind I stopped aging at 28.

I absorb the energy and electricity of the highway below my balcony and notice a billboard just put up the night before, announcing a new TV show with Courtney Cox called CougarTown. It's set in South Florida and is about a Cougar divorcee' realizing truths about aging and dating. I snicker at the clever title for a new, cool show that may or may not be a hit. It made me think of the nicknames or epithets we create for each other. All the categories and containers that us humans love to put ourselves in. Like a farmer sorting his livestock into different pens, humans like to coin nicknames to group types of people. I guess it's some primal survival instinct to put people into logical containers so we know what to expect from them. I never felt like I belonged to any typical gay-nickname container group. I related to being a latino and American but not the everyday-gay you see around. I believe the minute you completely own the title society gives you, you are in essence contained and as a result limited to other experiences out of that box. Like a Cuban or Argentinian that can't conceive of any other latin culture as great as his own. We run the risk of becoming ethno and homo-centric all at once.

I don't relate to leather queens, so I'm not a leather daddy. I'm not a Cub or a Chub Chaser. I'm definitely not a Twink nor am I a Muscle Queen. I'm not a Tweakerella (druggged up gay) or a self-hating gay. I'm not a Fem nor am I a Butch. I'm close to being one of those "straight-acting gays" only that I don't "act" straight, I'm just a masculine gay guy and am completely healthy in expressing and defining my emotions. I guess I could be close to an Otter (a tall, thin, hairy gay guy) but I'm not hairy.

After all this thinking (this coffee's got me running circles in my mind) I realize there isn't a term for an older, (40+), hot gay guy that may or may not date younger men like "Cougar" is for older straight, hot women. I rack my head for a nickname fitting enough to describe this social group left out of our everyday vocabulary. "Sugar Daddy" is close but has a negative connotation of a loveless relationship where an over-the-hill kind of guy pays younger boys to be with him. There has to be a more dignified term for such virile, accomplished, balanced and yes, still hot, gay man. Then we have the new "GRAMP" group which is a new term for a "gay-rich-alone-middle aged-positive" gay man but that's a bit sad and not as funny or light as "Cougar". It'd have to be a species of cat such as Cougar for the simple reason that both like to hunt fresh meat. Gray Wolf came through my mind but not all 40+ men are graying. Hmm, Puma...nah. That connotates a youthful energy or a young-buck kind of gay. Then my boyfriend suggested, Jaguar and with the speed of a brief gay gasp, a new container was born!

Jaguar's are fierce creatures to contend with; fast, strong, slick, elegant, powerful, excellent hunters and like the car -very sporty and slick. So the next time you see a 40+ guy with a sexy, young number on his arm. Say to yourself, "Check out that Jaguar over there. He's an older guy that's still got it going on." So there you have it. You have full permission to steal it. I eagerly await the moment someone first calls me a Jag, there certainly are worse names someone can call you.

Only thing is, although it would be a compliment, I don't feel like a Jaguar and I've never really felt ONLY gay--I like to think myself in Walt Whitman terms, "I am large, I contain multitudes.". I feel like so many things more than any one title can define. So when the novelty or humor of the labels like Cougar, Jaguar, Otter, Twink, Breeder, Diesel-Dyke or whatever, wear off and the pendulum swings from trying so hard to fit in a group to finally realizing we are all one with a whole lotta' different colors, maybe then we'll get "it"- and our labels won't limit us anymore. The stereotypes will finally be outgrown and shed like tortoises' shells. We will finally be free to surprise people again, contain "multitudes" and maybe just grow up enough to stop calling each other names at all.

Cougar Town:

What is a GRAMP?

What is a gay Otter or Wolf?

Article on Cougars:

A new kind of gay, the "Straight edger":

Origin of gay sea otter term-perhaps

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Death of Canela Cafe'

Tonight my family and friends mourn the death of a large part of our lives for the last 4 years; Canela Cafe'. Another casualty of this horrible recession, she was unable to heal from hemorraging money. She was born January 14, 2005 and died September 14, 2009. Canela Cafe' was more than just a place to get some "Latin Soul Food", it was an integral part of the community in which it resided; the Design District area or Miami's Upper East side as developers like to call it. She was birthed and tirelessly maintained from day one, 7 days a week for 4 years by her doting mother, Margarita Vasallo. It was her sole passion in life. So much so, that you could taste it in every bite of the scrumptious menu.

You could literally savor the unprocessed love dripping from every morsel as if she were the chef in the classic movie, Like Water for Chocolate. People may have complained about the service now and then but her magic touch for good ol' sazon' was without reproach. She won the awards, Best Cuban Food in Miami by New Times 2 months after opening and earlier this year, Best Tapas in Miami. She attracted the likes of foodie, Chris Cognac from the Food Detective and even hosted indpendent films with Madonna's baby daddy, Carlos Leon. Gloria Estefan ate there and even Miami's own hollywood starlet, Catherine Keener. The oasis of comfort food or as I liked to call it "community center" affected so many and had so many lives intertwined that it took on a life of it's own in many ways. It was the epitome of the American Dream for a second generation Cuban exile living in America recreating the cafe' her grandfather left behind on Havana's malecon in the famed art deco gem, Lopez Serrano building. The walls were lined with photos of family past and present and all who came to eat felt like they were at a family gathering. The good times and good food shared within it's hearth will live on in the hearts and minds of the souls that were lucky enough to discover her hidden charm in the middle of MIA. She nourished a community not only with food but with pure love and a heartfelt desire to host a good time for all.

If you've ever had the pleasure of tasting her food or spending time in Canela, please go to her Facebook page and post any good memories that you can recall. It will mean the world to a mother who gave so much to her community.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Fiestas De Gracia y Sants - Barcelona 2009

Returning to one of my favorite cities on this planet was a much anticipated event. It was made possible thanks to my sister paying my way so I could escort her kids over so they could enjoy their summer vacation with their Spanish cousins in a Villa about 2 hours from Barcelona. Being Julie Andrews in The Sound Of Music was an unexpectedly enriching experience for me. It was the first time that I was absolutely responsible for three children ranging from ages 7-15. I, for a moment was a parent and it felt pretty darn good. I didn't have too much trouble on our 15 hour voyage from Boston to Barcelona as my sister's kids are about the best kids you will ever find. Their personalities are as if they were adults trapped in a kid's body. Ever so aware and conscious of the world around them with a kid's sense of humor. My smallest niece started collecting all the vomit bags from the plane's seats and I was soon amused at the reason why. She was drawing faces on each one and making hand puppets out of them. Who would've thought that a vomit bag could be used as an entertainment device. How's that for ingenuity?

Arriving in the uber-modern new airport terminal at Barcelona airport, we were quickly whisked away to the country to the small town of Banyoles. We pulled up to a very old, stone villa remodeled and with a beautiful, modern pool (the only one in town). The villa overlooked a small valley, olive trees and all. It was as picturesque as a Goya painting.

The honeymoon ended quickly after spending a very hot and moist night barely catching any sleep as a result of a wild hog (Javali') screaming underneath my window as if a woman was getting raped and a bat flying into my room and hitting me on my forehead (no joke). Summer in Spain is just as hot as summer in Miami, difference is Miami has air conditioning. It didn't help that there was a pig farm next town over that deposited a thick aroma of pig poop into the air on it's way up the hill to our villa. I learned how to control my gag reflex about every 5 minutes. Needless to say, I was at the Bus Station on the 3rd day to visit my high school crush, Ivy (before I knew I was a big homo) in the energetic and ever so bohemian city of Barcelona. Bye Bye Banyoles.

The last time I had visited the "other Magic city" it was december and very chilly. I had no idea that it was OK to wear flip flops, shorts and tank tops in an European city. In Italy it is a faux-pas to wear shorts because it reminds Italians of when they were forced to wear dorky long shorts when they were kids. This trip I avoided the typical Gaudi tourist stops as I had seen them last year. I focused on parks and walking the different historic and rich neighborhoods. My all time fave is the Born neighborhood which is a European version of SoHo. Lots of original boutiques, great fashion, cafe's, cool people and of course my "gays". Born has a very large park and is very close to La Barceloneta beach area. It's the medieval core of the city with narrow cobblestone streets and cathedrals intact.

The weekend arrived and Ivy decided that we should go to see the festival of Fiestas De Gracia y Sants which are two different neighborhoods that have been doing this street thang for about 750 years now. The city was originally called Barcino by Hannibal's dad who founded it about 2000 years ago, has a hefty lead on Miami on throwing a party. They do it in spades. The yearly street party is a well oiled machine and community leaders take part in designing and coordinating the year's designs in the same way the Samba schools in Brazil plan and compete for their carnivals throughout the year. This year, all the designs had to be executed with recyclable materials. There was Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom replete with Aliens, Japanese Gardens, Monte Carlo Casino every street was different. There was one surreal street lined with toys and candy and was made even more cool with a Cuban band playing and kids drinking mojitos. Each street had their own bands or DJ's, bars, and tons of people from all over the world just having a good time chillaxin'.

The climax was the battle of the tribes, Les Dracs (the dragons), Colla Vella (old devil's tail) and Diabolica (the devilish ones). This consisted of a good old fashioned street battle where each tribe tries to pass and the other blocks with walls of people and taunting chants. They finally break through the blockaded narrow streets with explosions and fireworks spraying everyone, including the onlookers. My badge of honor was about 10 burned spots on my scalp as well as my shirt. Marching bands of drummers followed the opening of the blockades followed with hundreds of onlookers and visitors laughing, drinking and dancing. It was a page out of a Roman Bacchanalian feast. The high was like no other. I ended up dancing in the middle of a plaza with my new-found friend named Giusi (juicy) from Naples who came to visit the city years ago and never went back home.

The finale was in the main plaza with a balcony stuffed with the community's leaders overlooking the performance, the large dragon and Gaudi's iguana from Park Guell came through and sprayed a volcano of fireworks over everyone then fire throwers and music ensued. Everyone was rolling on the same good vibration. It was one of those nights you store away in your brain and take out on "blue" days, the memory bringing peace in the knowing that you've lived a little in this life.

I believe every trip you take changes you a little. You learn things about others and about yourself, how these two entities relate to each other and how colorful and wonderful our world is.

I learned that you should never not sit at the lunch table in Spain even though you aren't hungry. In Spain, lunch is very important.
I learned that you should definitely pack tank tops and sandals when you go to Spain in the summer.
I learned that it's perfectly legal to be completely naked in the streets of Barcelona but walking around without your shirt on is not permitted.

I learned that while salaries really suck in Spain, they find a way to live a really good life with a lot less money but they complain just as much as Americans do about not having enough money.

I learned that Catalonians don't really have much that is taboo to them. They are pretty much cool about anything. They are dignified like the French and proud of their country but are much more relaxed about it.

I learned that if you're Muslim and if you live in Banyoles you will be very pissed at the constant smell of pig shit wafting it's way into your nostrils at every moment of every day.

Most of all I learned that you don't ask a married woman if she's "caliente" in front of her husband because it doesn't mean "hot", it means "sexually turned on".

Brief history of Barcelona as a city:

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Why You Have to See Bruno the Movie

Going in to the movie; Bruno I had heard why the gay community was up and arms about a scene in the film where an adopted baby was in a hot tub with uber-gay, femme fatale Bruno and his gay playmates while one was eating another guy's arse. The producers apparently promised to remove the scene but never did. I fully expected it to be a "it's your turn gays" to take some satire and some tongue-in-cheek jabs at ourselves (as if we haven't had enough already). Regardless, I am open to these tests and I went anyway. Going in, I realized how few of my gay brethren were in attendance. Being a theater in the heart of the gay mecca that is South Beach hetero\homo ratio is about 50/50. The audience was actually very straight, about 95% on the Kinsey's scale. There were a good amount of African American viewers as well which is uncommon to the area as well. The movie took me through so many uncomfortable yet funny moments that I found myself covering my face and hiding behind my girlfriend's shoulder from the embarrasingly gay, screaming nelly on the screen. Growing up yearning to see my people represented in film, I finally got my wish but not in the same way I envisioned. It was unbearable to see all the extreme stereotypes that I have dreamed would one day be cleared away as soon as Richard Simmons passed away.

As Sacha Baron Cohen's (a straight Jew from London) antics progressed I realized that the film was not poking fun at the gay way of life but at society's extreme stereotypes of us and the extreme factions within our society that are vehemently opposed to our ways. As the theater emptied I took joy in seeing the confused faces of all the folks who thought they were going to a Hollywood sanctioned gay-bashing. The joke was on them. They paid 10 dollars each to see a reflection of a part of themselves in the homophobic, backward-ass cretans and religious freaks that hate us so for no good reason apart from that society has always reassured them that they they're right and we are wrong. Bruno left them with a lot to think about and with a possibly newfound motivation but nevertheless a motivation to separate themselves from the neanderthals on the screen. Don't reject Bruno for being such a flaming homo just yet, he might just be our best ally yet.

Bruno hits Miami:

Bruno at a Christian Rock concert:

Bruno vs. Skinheads:

Monday, July 13, 2009

A Brief History of Gay Icons- Why We Love 'em

There's a quote from a Woody Allen movie, Celebrity: "You can tell a lot about a society by the people they choose to celebrate.". So why do the gays obsess about some celebrities and have lukewarm feelings about others? Why was Farrah Fawcett a gay icon yet Michael Jackson not?

Decades before oh-so-gay Sir Elton John penned the song Candle In the Wind, Marilyn Monroe was already my protector spirit, my concept of perfection in a human and thousands of gays along with me were already in love with the vulnerable, sexy, nymph-queen of America. Marilyn is still our modern-day Aphrodite. An immortal star amongst the gods of Mt. Hollywood. Why are Judy Garland, Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Britney Spears, Princess Diana, Cher, Angelina Jolie, Kylie Minogue all godesses to us gays? They all share common demoninators. They were not supposed to be the stars they had become, they fed on tragedy and struggle, transforming it into grace and enviable beauty. Above all, these tortured souls had a certain flamboyance to the way they lived their lives so fiercely, slicing through any obstacles or critics like a hot knife through butter. It's an added bonus if they have a biting, acerbic wit like Bette Midler, Lilly Tomlin, Sandra Bernhard and the queen of sardonism; Kathy Griffin. It's funny how this sub-group of gay icons are traditionally awkward, ugly ducklings. It's part of their appeal to us. Wouldn't it be great to see a new gay icon come about that can combine the beauty of Marilyn with the wicked comedic talent of Kathy Griffin? That would be a Super-gay icon and a one-stop shop of entertainment for the gay masses.
My reasons why I related to Marilyn were many. How she found a way to get away with being herself even though 1950's America didn't appreciate a woman of her openly sexual expression. How she smiled away her inner turmoil and magically extracted beauty from pain. How she wanted children so badly she kept trying even though her body betrayed her and repeatedly miscarried. How she harnessed her sexual prowess to get whatever she wanted in life but she couldn't find her one true love to make her feel safe in the world. Most intriguing, was the aura about her. Her light would lift my spirits and get me through the worst growing pains of my teenage years. She was a guiding light in my quest to find my true self. My room was plastered with posters of Marilyn on every spare inch of my walls and I read just about every book written on her short life. Her wall space quickly became shared with Farrah Fawcett as I fell further into puberty and Charlie's Angel's became the hottest thing on TV.
Today no one questions why Transformer hottie, Megan Fox would tattoo Marilyn's visage on her forearm or why Madonna has emulated her at various stages in her life in style, video, even living her same trials with failed relationships. Marilyn is still very much alive generations later. She is still on the yearly Forbes list of top grossing dead celebrities among which Elvis Presley, Bob Marley, Andy Warhol are also listed.

I remember how thousands of straight white and black men idolized Michael Jackson trying their hardest to emulate his smooth moves and add to their "game" with the ladies, spending $400- for the latest Thriller or Beat It leather jacket. Still, Michael didn't cut it as a gay icon even though all his mannerisms and flair, signaled he was one of us. It had a lot to do with the fact that he never really came out. It's hard to relate to a celebrity when it's not really clear what they are or what they feel strongly about. Last report from a close friend was that he was none of the above and was asexual. Elizabeth Taylor once said in an interview, "he was not from this Earth".

Whoever said that gays hate women definitely do not know us at all. Ironically, 99.9% of gay icons are women. We adore women because we empathize with them. We have been heartbroken by the same male dogs as our women counterparts. We struggle in a world that considers feminity a weakness. We are in essence, stuck in the same game.
Another gay icon was Princess Diana, not just for her work to raise awareness and funds to fight AIDS but for her poise, her quiet rebellion, her audacious smile in the face of so many rigid constraints and how she glided through all those obstacles to make a real change in the world and unintentionally making herself a heroine for so many. She is one of the few celebrity deaths that inflicted a pang on the hearts of so many wolrdwide when news of her tragic death reached the news. The world was not ready to let go of her light and is still lamenting her loss to this day.

We see the tragedy in these goddesses that we have in ourselves. Their staying power in our minds is how they tirelessly struggled to get what they couldn't ever get. For Marilyn it was true love and to have a child. It's not surprising why Lindsay Lohan, Anna Nicole Smith are among the many modern day starlets that idolize her. Britney Spears is so emotionally connected to Marilyn that she purchased her cemetery plot next to her's in Hollywood Forever Cemetery and even owns a pair of her jeans. It's no mistake that Britney's Circus album mirrors Marilyn's shoot with photographer Milton H. Greene's titled, Marilyn At The Circus.

Although today's gay youth connect more to Britney than Marilyn, her stronghold to the title of modern-day Aphrodite has yet to find a competitor memorable enough to topple her from her post. Her grace was never before seen but hopefully will be seen again tomorrow. Who will be our next gay icon? It definitely won't be Lindsey.

Enjoy the never before published pictures above of a 24 year old Marilyn before she was "somebody". The quotes below are Marilyn's as well.

  • Creativity has got to start with humanity and when you're a human being, you feel, you suffer.
  • What good is it being Marilyn Monroe? Why can't I just be an ordinary woman? A woman who can have a family ... I'd settle for just one baby. My own baby.
  • I have too many fantasies to be a housewife.... I guess I am a fantasy.
  • It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.

  • It's better for the whole world to know you, even as a sex star, than never to be known at all.

  • Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
  • The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.
  • Sex is part of nature. I go along with nature.
  • Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.
  • 1956 interview about her childhood: Looking back, I guess I used to play-act all the time. For one thing, it meant I could live in a more interesting world than the one around me.
  • Also from Lee Strasberg's eulogy: Marilyn Monroe was a legend. In her lifetime she created a myth of what a poor girl from a deprived background could attain. For the entire world she became a symbol of the eternal feminine.

A recent exhibit at London's National Portrait Gallery titled "Gay Icons"

Lindsay Lohan's Marilyn spread:

Britney buys cemetery plot next to Marilyn's:

Sunday, May 24, 2009

"F" You Very Much Against Homophobia-When a Video Becomes as Viral as Swine Flu

Every now in a while an artist takes a stand and shows the world what it really means to be a "superstar". Like Lupe Fiasco's song, Superstar - "If you are what you say you are. A superstar then have no fear". Lily Allen has proven herself to be this realtime version of a "superstar". So much so that even Lupe would answer his own question, "Did you improve on the design?". This young Brit has, by creating a song that is all at once brash and cocky, yet positive with a punch in the face to the bigots of the world warning that the generational shift is happening and this new generation is not going to put up with the religious-sponsored hatred and conservatism that is holding us back. Hatred is hatred in it's many forms and disguises and this "new guard" isn't going to be so tolerant as my generation or previous ones have been. Lily originally wrote the song protesting a conservative political party in Great Britian, similar to our Republicans.

Lily Allen -"this song is not a direct attack at anyone, it was originally written about the BNP in the UK but then I felt this issue has become relevant pretty much everywhere, we are the youth, we can make coolness for our future, its up to us. Go green and hate hate."

Stevie Bee Bishop, a young Australian, native to Brisbane with his own You Tube channel decided to create a video to combat hate against LGBT people after seeing so much of his people being targeted online. He didn't have intentions of becoming a world wide phenom or of creating offshoots of his original video that would spread the globe from his fresh original seed video. His video is full of cameos from fellow gay bloggers from all over You Tube, the new gaylutionaries. A French blog created a homage to Stevie Bee's original video and added more clips from all over the web creating a world wide message to bigots from "us gays", the new gays.

While we may have lost many leaders, fighters and so many talented brethren, so many new ones are born every day. This movement will never die nor will this world ever be without it's gays. This french homage video was released on the International Day Against Homophobia, 2009, May 17th and is a perfect example of how viral and organic movements occur online and how if the moment and content is right a revolution can be born overnight.

You go Lily Allen! You go Stevie Bee Bishop! You go GayClic! You are carving out a new world that we will ALL want to live in!

Stevie Bee's original call for video entries on YouTube:

Stevie Bee's finished product:

The French GayClic's inspired video homage to Stevie Bee's original video:

Lily Allen - GWB (Fuck You Very Much) Lyrics:
Look inside, look inside your tiny mind
and look a bit harder
cause we’re so uninspired
so sick and tired
of all the hatred you harbor

so you say it’s not okay to be gay
well I think you’re just evil
you’re just some racist who can’t tie my laces
you’re point of view is medieval

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch

do you get, do you get a little kick out of being small-minded?
you want to be like your father
it’s approval you’re after
well that’s not how you’ll find it

do you, do you really enjoy living a life that’s so hateful
cause there’s a hole where your soul should be
you’re losing control of it
and it’s really distasteful

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind
and look a bit harder
cause we’re so uninspired
so sick and tired
of all the hatred you harbor

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch

Subscribe to this new generation of gay revolutionary (gaylutionary) -Stevie Bee Bishop's world changing You Tube channel:

Download Lily's song for free here:

French blog featuring the video homage to homo-haters:

International Day against Homophobia campaign:

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Padre Alberto's Truth- You Decide?

I've always believed there are no coincidences in life. This latest scandal from Miami is another confirmation of that belief. 3 weeks ago I blogged about how the church's stance on requiring celibacy of it's priests was an outdated discipline that's time has come to end and serendipitously comes a pretty huge scandal involving one of it's brightest stars, Father Albert Cutie' of breaking his vow of celibacy. Undoubtedly, an asset to the church and a liasion bringing younger generations of followers to this antiquated religious belief system with his fresh candor, relevant sermons and pure passion to bring God into people's lives. No one can ever take away his passion and the good that he has done in making the church seem a lot more friendly and a lot less confined and stale to contemporary-minded Americans.

This pastor to his small church of St. Francis on 6th and Alton on Miami Beach has touched millions with his message and mission through his best selling books, talk and radio show as well as weekly editorial for the Miami Herald. He has earned his credibility and celebrity status. With the looks of an actor you would think the church purposely casted him in this role as a good PR move, this Father Cutie' is a cutie and the Church's best assets today.

Still, this breaking news and salacious story of his love affair with a woman just doesn't jive with what I know this man to be. An intelligent, measured, dignified and very astute man would never get caught en flagrante over a period of 3 days no less doing something that he was fully aware would get him fired from the church he loves so dearly. A church he has devoted his entire life to promoting and defending. Unless it was a deliberate plea to become accepted by the Holy Father or a desperate plea to hide something more damaging? There have been rumors circulating on South Beach that the real reason was that he was in a long term relationship with a man and that it was coming to a head after said man threatened to blackmail him with threats of going to the media with evidence of their relationshiop. This may have been the Father's desperate attempt to beat the whistle blower to the pass and diffuse any possibility to defame him in the eyes of the church and the world even further. Regardless of motive, this is another blaring example of the church's inability to evolve with the times and proof of it's decreasing relevance to contemporary human beings. Neither heterosexual nor homosexual affairs should be causes to bring down a man that has done so much and brought so many to a church that is every day becoming more and more of an endangered species.
A professor at FIU and friend of Father Albert Cutie' for years, Uva de Aragon, was quoted "Frankly, this was not very smart, flouting what you are doing. Did he want to get caught?" If he did want to protest the church's policy on celibacy, he would've done it in a more dignified and self-respecting manner by publically resigning with a statement protesting the church's policy. Instead he was photographed and busted. Immediately after the photos' were publicized in TVnotas, the Archdiocese of Miami announced on Tuesday that Father Cutié, was suspended from preaching at St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church, he also lost his gig hosting his show on Pax Catholic Communications.
Father Albert told Hispanic Magazine in 2007 "I'm not the priest for the regular Catholic crowd," "I made that decision a long time ago. I'm the priest for the lost sheep. Which is why I do the media thing and the press thing and the book thing."-Thats' fine and dandy but then why would you knowingly get caught over a period of 3 days with public displays of affection with a woman on the beach that you preach in that is about 5 square miles? Couldn't he have taken a trip to Croatia or somewhere else obscure? That is way too below his level of intelligence. Unless it was an orchestrated spin-doctoring of his own to avoid a much larger one.

After being placed on leave he has reportedly been sent by Archbishop of Miami John C. Favalora to an undisclosed location to pray and reflect upon his fall from grace. The latest "story" from the church now is that he decided to take a leave of absence to reflect on his situation. It's no wonder Republicans are so adept at spin doctoring situations to fit their needs. They perfected their craft learning by example at mass every Sunday.

Like the ever so enigmatic message by Gaudi' engraved on the entrance doors of the Cathedral La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, "Que es la verita'?". When will the Church come clean and finally tell us the truth? Here's your chance Mr. Pope Benedict to prove to the world that you aren't going to extinguish yourselves in your stubborness from evolving. Shed this farce of a policy that has led to so much scandal and pain. It would be a small start.
Hey and if Father Albert doesn't get reinstated, he can always preach at an Episcopalian church. They have no celibacy restrictions.

History of Celibacy in the Catholic Church

  • Peter, the first pope, and the apostles that Jesus chose were, for the most part, married men. The New Testament implies that women presided at eucharistic meals in the early church.

  • Eleventh Century-1045-Pope Boniface IX dispensed himself from celibacy and resigned in order to marry.

  • 1074-Pope Gregory VII said anyone to be ordained must first pledge celibacy: ‘priests [must] first escape from the clutches of their wives.’

  • 1095-Pope Urban II had priests’ wives sold into slavery, children were abandoned.

  • The Roman Catholic church has left the policy or "discipline" virtually unchanged for the past 900 years, saying it allows for a dedication to God and the church without distraction.

Popes who were married

  1. St. Peter, ApostleSt. Felix III 483-492 (2 children)

  2. St. Hormidas 514-523 (1 son)

  3. St. Silverus (Antonia) 536-537

  4. Hadrian II 867-872 (1 daughter)

  5. Clement IV 1265-1268 (2 daughters)

  6. Felix V 1439-1449 (1 son)

Impassioned apology from Father Albert Cutie's website:

Before God - full of love and mercy - I ask for the forgiveness of those who may be hurt or saddened by my actions. Since I entered the seminary at the age of 18, the priesthood has brought me great joy. The commitment that I made to serve God will remain intact. I am grateful for the love and support I have received today from so many in our community, especially my parishioners and the supporters of the radio stations who have demonstrated great compassion and understanding toward me as a human being. I ask for your continued prayers and support.
Father Albert Cutié

Story of celebrity Priest punished for being in love:

Fascinating blog on Archbishop Milingo's crusade to end the church's celibacy policy:

How Milingo's brief marriage mysteriously ended after the Pope personally visited him:

Palm Beach news story of Father Albert's stance on the matter:

Pope upholds centuries old policy of celibacy in 2007:,2933,258442,00.html

History of Celibacy in the church:

Another bloggers entry regarding the scandal:

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Finally a Fresh Product from MTV- Cherry Girl is Born.

Bravo to MTV for birthing an original product today-finally. A knock off from the benign and deliciously mischievous main character of my all time favorite film; Amelie, MTV's Cherry Girl is a prosocial initiative to attempt to make random acts of kindness the new worldwide trend.

Here's the first example of Cherry Girl's positively fun antics:

Here is Cherry Girl's credo for her life which is a helluva lot better than Tila Tequila's "get drunk and screw anyone" credo:

Seek pleasure in life
Play with the world
Have everything
Destroy nothing
To ‘be’ is not optional
To ‘have’ usually is
Be mischievous
Float through the chaos
Walk everywhere
Love what makes you different
Live an amazing life

Check her sexy debut video by Ridley Scott:

It's a premeditated act by the gods at Mount MTV that this pixie, Cherry Girl has been born on Earth day. Her environmentally aware ways will hopefully have throngs of fans planting cherry seeds all over our imperiled globe.

I sure hope so because if I see another new season of Tila Tequila or Road Rules I think I might just hurl.

If you want to become a fan and keep up with all her goings-on you can join on Facebook:

Or on Twitter:

FACT: Earth Day was founded by U.S. Senator Gaylord Nelson as an environmental teach-in in 1970 and is now observed in 175 countries every year.

FACT: April 22 is also the birthday of Julius Sterling Morton, the founder of Arbor Day, a national tree-planting holiday started in 1872.

Happy Earth Day!

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Gay Storm- Are These People for Real?

Every now and then this whole gay battle for civil rights just takes on a stranger than life twist that is just too ridiculous to not share. I have no words to describe how far out of touch with reality the "Ameri-ban's" fear-based actions are.

The original video that is too surreal to be real:

The Colbert Report's spoof on the same video:

Rachel Maddow's commentary on the organization's banning of the video:

The audition tapes for the Storm video that were quickly pulled off You Tube by the NOM organization:

It's blatantly ironic that the whole unfounded argument that this "Gay Storm" will destroy our civilization and the institution of marriage, comes from a religious group (Mormons) that promotes polygamy and arranged marriages of children as young as 8 years old. The Mormon church denys involvement with this "front group" but read this blog that ties the two together:

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pope VS. Shaman- Where Will You Find Enlightenment Today?

Any priest in the Catholic Church must either be a self-hating homosexual or someone with some serious issues with their sexuality. Why else would any healthy, straight and invariably horny man give up a life of sexual pleasure with loved ones to lock himself up with other men wearing robes that look a lot like dresses? There is no exact figure of the number of gay clergy but estimates vary anywhere from 25 percent to 50 percent, according to a review by the Rev. Donald Cozzens, author of "The Changing Face of the Priesthood.". I theorize that it is very close to 100% but how many priests and clergy are willing to admit it? Abstinence in theory is one of the most miserably failed tenets the church has ever created. The hundreds of lawsuits and payoffs by the church to victims of sexual abuse are proof that you cannot stop human desire and when you repress it, it rears it's ugly head in any way it can. The belief is that abstaining from sex makes you more spiritual has no basis in fact. There is no research to support this tenet. If you look at some of the world's earliest religions that predate the church, abstinence as a concept never existed. American Indian Shaman had same-sex "berdaches" that would attend to the Teepee and the sexual needs of the shaman. They were the shamans same-sex husbands and they were oftentimes initiates and above all they were revered by their tribe. Buddhist high priest are not forbidden from enjoying sexual relations. I have had momentous, spiritual experiences in my life and they had nothing to do with whether I got laid the night before. It boils down to one simple fact; human beings need love to survive. Just like Tom Hanks in Survivor who fell in love with a soccer ball named "Wilson". Inevitably our human form takes over whatever spiritual intention was set in motion and we crack. We need physical touch and love, being in love with the almighty or whomever\whatever doesn't remove us from our bodies permanently. Hasidic Jewish communities have high rates of STD's among ultra religious marriages because the husbands go out and hire prostitutes on the "Down Low". Sex, however dirty your religion may perceive it, is as necessary for our survival as that apple a day. Scientific studies have even shown that the more times per week a study subject had sex, the longer their lives were.

So it is a surprise to hear that there is rampant sex in Catholic seminaries where priests are trained to be priests? (see article link below) The church's rush to stop gap the ever increasing priest shortage has forced them to ordain these priests quicker than ever and lower their standards. These young men who will be the world's spiritual leaders are just as horny as any other young buck out there, if not more because these bucks know from here on out, it's curtains down there, at least in theory.

In early native America hundreds of years ago homosexuals, transgendered, etc. were all bundled together under revered terms of berdache or shaman. Their function was of a different path than warrior or wife or hunter. They were the revered spiritual leaders and healers for each tribe. They were the connection to the spiritual world and other dimensions and they were GAY.

Fast forward to 2009, these cross-dressing "tribal doctors" are still around today. in fact the Vatican is full of them. One visit to a Barcelona cathedral museum smacked me in the face with that reality. Walking through the ever-so-boring museum and entered into the room where all the religious robes (costumes) were kept. There were red silk conical bishop hats with gold threading, orange long robes with embroidered arm panels that dragged elegantly to the floor, purple scarves with gaudy gold thread decoration. I said to myself, "A drag queen would have a field day in this room". How did a humble Jesus dressed in rags, teaching tolerance and universal love to all men get turned into a bunch of closeted gay men in ridiculously superfluous and luxurious drag costumes to spread his teachings to the Catholic world? If you really want to teach his lessons you would emulate him and his message in every way and wear the rags of a poor man certainly not the pomp and pompousness of the drag queens running rampant in the Vatican. Buddhist priests are prime examples of a spiritual leader properly following the teachings of their prophet.

This George-Bush-of-a-pope dressed up as a spiritual leader has done nothing to progress the spiritual enlightenment or awakening of his followers. He first attacked muslims, then atheists, then made more hateful than normal statements reinstating that homosexuality will cause the destruction of the modern world. He then put the cherry on the bullcrappy sundae and pissed off a world full of Jewish people by re-hiring a bishop that denied Jews died by gassing in the holocaust giving a crazy figure of 200-300,000 of the total killed in the holocaust versus the 6 million that were actually killed. A bishop that shortly after apologized for hurting people with his comments but never retracted them. Pope Rat-zinger demanded he apologize weeks later after the world was in an uproar over the news but the bishop never did retract and the Pope did nothing to discipline his returning prodigal son.

Is the Vatican playing a sick joke on humanity in testing us how much hate it can spew out before somebody just goes AWOL and goes 9-11 on them? Maybe it's a taunt so they can justify a new holy war like Bush did? Is it all a na-na-nanny-boo-boo by Pope Benedict? Is this behavior of someone that is supposed to lead the civilized world towards spiritual growth? At least John Paul tried played nice and tried to bring the world together, teaching forgiveness. This one only seems to be capable of medieval hate mongering.

Like the Shaman of yore, Homosexuals are a people connected and in tuned to our spirit because we are on a separate journey, with it's unique lessons. Childbirth and rearing are not necessarily where we find our teachings in this life. We are a gay tribe with our leaders conveniently eliminated by AIDS. It is time that our spiritual leaders come out from the shadows (closet) and depose the false prophets that hide behind the many colored robes of the Catholic Church. We can add to the diaspora of belief in this world, giving it one more intense color.

Great Britian's Tony Blair is recently quoted as calling for a revolution in thinking in the Church and has criticized this pope for being out of touch with his congregation worldwide. Blair says, "There are many good and great things the Catholic Church does, and there are many fantastic things this Pope stands for, but I think what is interesting is that if you went into any Catholic Church, particularly a well attended one, on any Sunday here and did a poll of the congregation, you’d be surprised at how liberal-minded people were." A generational shift has occurred, a cycle is ending worldwide. The next generation coming is tired and uninterested in the old, failed battles of previous ones. They are hungry for spiritual knowledge and if the church doesn't serve it to them, they will seek it elsewhere. When I was growing up in Miami in the 80's, you would be hard pressed to find one center that had Yoga classes. Today, there are centers even in the most suburban of areas. Not to say that Yoga is a replacement for religion but it is a beginning point and for many is their preferred "church". Newsweek's April 13, 2009 issue runs a cover image of a cross outlined by the words, "The Decline and Fall of Christian America". Obama's win over the faith-aligned Republicans sealed the fate of the extremists in the country that many doubt will ever be able to regained. The church is finally becoming separated from the state as our country's founders intended. "The percentage of self-identified Christians has fallen 10 points in the past two decades." (John Meacham, Newsweek) The decline of the church is a fact not theory. Question is how long can the church afford to ignore it? Do they impeach this curmudgeon before he brings about it's downfall like George W. Bush almost was?

Fast forward 20 years to 2029, we may see a day where the Vatican is no more. We may live to see a day where the Vatican leaders choose to dismantle it's own headquaters to prove to the world it is shedding it's old self and moving towards a newfound mission and vision. It could sell it's melted down gold to aid 3rd world countries and plant a huge forest in the middle of Rome, replacing the gargantuan statues that have so little to do with Jesus Christ's humble message. This new found forest would be a new spiritual United Nations location for all of the religious tribes of the world could come together to trance-dance away any differences in the warmth of a fire, bathed in the moonlight of a blue moon. A new unified and fully inclusive tradition would replace the crusty, old and irrelevant church of today. I don't doubt that Muslims, Jews, Sufis, Hindus, buddhists, Atheists and yes, us Gays would come to dance at that global party!

There is some hope for its survival. There are signs of factions of moderates within these conservative religions working against the tide of extremism and conservatism to modernize the message of the church to a more inclusive one. Facebook has several religious groups that have popped up supporting gay rights. (see link below) The group is such an idiosyncracy that Facebook'ers sympathetic to the gay rights movement have left negative comments not realizing that the group is Pro-marriage equality and not the common trend among Catholics to be against it. The group is called Christians For Gay Equality ( and it is ray of light and hope that yes, the church can reform itself from the inside. It seems that the only way will be not by the elitist stronghold of holy, self- hating, closeted homosexuals running the Vatican but by the members of the Catholic Church that no longer want to be told what is right and wrong. The faithful that finally will take a stand to see God for themselves, without the help of a priest. Republicans are starting to realize their moral holy war must be given up and are now trying to redefine themselves as a party before facing complete extinction. Even the Rush Limbaugh dinosaur cannot roar loudly enough to save that party. One pioneering reformist is ironically the daughter of John McCain; the poster boy of when you go too far to show people how Catholic you are, no longer works for you in this country. Meghan McCain is leading a new movement from within the ranks of the staunch, unbending and never yielding Republican mentality to a more moderate party where acceptance of gay marriage is not a problem, among other things. She wants to go further than just making the party sound inclusive. This thoroughly modern McCain wants her party to actually change and be inclusive, not just talk the talk. Wouldn't she be a wonderful replacement to the wicked witch of the east; Ann Coulter's rhetoric.

Homosexuals are a tribe that no longer finds the path of least resistance the wisest one. We are ready to push beyond our reservations in the big cities (LA, NY, MIA, SAN FRAN) and lay claim to our role in global politics. It's time we come out of our safe bubbles, grab our equality in this civilization and maybe lead again as spiritual leaders replacing the outdated, restrictive and divisive religions of this world with one world spirituality. It is happening already - the number of Americans who don't identify with any religion has risen to 15% from 8% in 1990.
I come from a family where my grandmother who was fiercely Catholic had a sister that became a nun after witnessing a vision of the Virgin Mary in her small town in Cuba. I was raised in a Catholic household, went to a Catholic all boys high school was confirmed and even did the Jesus life and death tour in Israel. So I can say with absolute certainty that I have found more spiritual enlightenment under the moonlight than under any church dome.

The awakening will continue, the churches will continue to empty and be less relevant. When you find yourselves looking for some elightenment, look to the Native American Shaman, Buddhism, Kundalini, Kabbalah, Yoga, wherever. The most important thing is that you look for the truth yourself because this leader isn't helping.

Gay sex in Catholic seminaries decreased but still ongoing:
Newsweek's story on the decline of Christian America:
Meghan McCain's shining new path for her beleaguered party:

Pope reinstates member of extreme traditionalist sect (St. Pius X) previously excommunicated by Pope John Paul:
Pope's feeble attempt to curb worldwide furor over the Bishop's stance:
Beautiful speech by oscar winner for MILK movie denouncing church stance against gays:
Pope inciting more hatred and violence against homosexuals:

More americans claim they have no religion now at 15% increase from 8% in 1990:

Anthropological historical facts regarding roles of gay American Indians as Spiritual leaders of tribes:

The honorable role of Shaman in native america:
Pope's divisive speech: