It's A Mad World - Maddening Us Gays

Reading through the paper, passing the countless updates on legal battles going on presently in this country regarding gay rights; "Lingle compares gay marriage to incest", "Gay groups sue governor Lingle of hawaii to overturn her veto to gay marriage ammendment", "Washington DC court upholds gay marriage bill, preventing a majority to ever vote to strip a minority's rights in that state", "Proposition 8 Overturned! Opponents Vow to take Appeal To US Supreme Court", "Montana Tea Party Advocates Hanging of "Fruits"" etc, etc. I get a little down and Google, "cheer me up" and find an article that rates the 10 happiest cities to live in the United States. My mind begins to wander and think happy thoughts...What if we (us gays) could build our own utopian island on par with the man made islands off the coast of Dubai- a modern day mythical Atlantis reborn by and designed by legions of the top minds from our LGBT communities across America. Our ardent opponents fantasy's of shipping us all off to an island would finally be realized. Sure, we already have our gay sanctuary-cities like LA, New York and Miami but like Sergio Arau's "A Day Without a Mexican", America would finally see what a day or several years without a gay is like and what will happen to our society with the complete removal of it's "gays". I know it would totally suck but just stick with me here.

We are no different from the Kurds in Iraq or Muslims in Bosnia-just another minority that would better off be eliminated or altogether made to disappear so that the majority won't have to tolerate or understand us. The idea of a gay Atlantis-utopia would call them on their bluff and while others would call it cowardly, I muse it would be a passive-aggressive, checkmate move. It wouldn't take long for the same factions that opposed us to create a new demonized segment of society and create a new holy war against divorces, illegal immigrants, tangas or mini-skirts. Like removing the US embargo off of Cuba, robbing Fidel of his excuse for his country's miseries. These Ameri-bans would finally be exposed for the fear-mongering fanatics that they are and the masses would finally "get it"-then maybe then we could return from our safe-haven-utopia and finally be left alone to live our lives without having to fight every damn day to defend ourselves and gain equal rights.

Staring at this map of happiness I remember my first day of school where I kicked, screamed and scratched to not go into that classroom. A place where no one knew me and where I felt I was too different-not because I was gay-I didn't have an inkling of that yet but because I was a strange young boy that never spoke- Too focused on figuring out this strange world to speak or relate to anyone...So many questions I obsessed about; Why money had value? Why did my parents run around, working so much and not spend more time with my siblings and I? Why there were killings, rapes and wars? Why were kids at school so competitive and mean to each other? Why did I feel like a lepper?

High school gifted me with an angelic being and my first gal-pal of many that would provide solace and sanctuary for me. It was only fitting that she looked like a younger version of my tender, loving idol; Marilyn Monroe. We were brief lovers and in her arms I found a shoulder to drown my sorrows and finally confess my "gayness". She soon after, released me to take the gay, road-less-traveled. 23 years later, the world is still cruel and cold but a little more tolerant and our people are no longer the free, gay and happy people that created the epitome of good times from the 70's and 80's. Our world renowned wit, dampened and drowned out by our cries for equality, finally getting fed up enough to quit partying and start demanding respect.

We are in wartime, no time for being light and caddy, we are a weary, beleaguered masses yearning to breathe free. A shadow has been cast by our tireless political opponents obsessed with lying about our love, cheating and manipulating laws to have their religious war won, eroding the fabric of America's Constitution along the way. The shadow is cast over almost every gay community worldwide by a religious cloak from almost every religion hiding the hatred and homophobia behind their regurgitated and selectively manipulated doctrine. We, as a people have lost a part of ourselves along the way, lost in our own rainbow. Our cause is just and as important as the recession everyone is stuck wallowing in. This battle affects millions of lives of good and Gay American citizens. We are a large portion of society fighting and counting the days until we can feel free, light and good again- to finally feel fully equal and accepted. It's a mad world- maddening to one of the last portions of society to be included in one of humanity's final exams, truly testing the tolerance of it's inherent differences. Our rights were supposed to have already been afforded to us by the Constitution with a clear separation of church and state. We shouldn't have to fight this battle but nonetheless, here we are mired in it. Although it took us a while to get pissed off enough to get organized, we are now witnessing one of the biggest battles of our times, where hundreds of millions of dollars are spent on either side of the political battlefield.


I imagine a day when we are finally done with this mess and all those millions can be redirected towards helping to change the really damning problems of our world like lack of water, overpopulation, incurable diseases, etc. I imagine a time where I could reunite with my brothers and sisters on a dance floor, where the music is uplifting and good again. Where I don't leave feeling depressed from a gay club, sensing the sadness oozing off these reality escapees of a harsh world -dancing to forget. I await on a metaphorical cliff looking out to a new horizon where this civil rights war is behind us and we can finally regain our joyful outlook and wit that we were so famous for. I can't wait for my younger gay brethren to feel as loved and accepted as they were on their birthday as every child should feel. For LGBT suicides, gay bashings and death penalties for gays to be relegated to the dark pages of our history books for good....to serve as a reminder that this time that mentality should never be repeated. I await and dream of the day we win this battle for equality and justice. To be able to sing happy birthday to "us" and this mad world will become a bit more of a glad one.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!" — Jack Kerouac (On the Road)

One day we will be able to look in the mirror and feel beautifully whole and comfortable in our own skins with a contented smile instead of expressionless, poker faces and smiling will be cool again. I pray that after we do that the hatred doesn't shift to illegal immigrants in this country as it already seems to be happening.

This whole gay thing isnt about gay or straight -it's about loving each other-for real this time- no matter what- to end this hatred amongst ourselves and knock the cycle of hatred, division and intolerance out of this Earth grid for good. Or at least until a new challenge like acceptance of beings from other planets comes inevitably along our evolutionary path. That moment of contact will never happen until we can get over our differences here at home. Would you want to visit such unfriendly territory if you were light years ahead of Earth?

"There is a template of pain and suffering on this planet that the earth is tired of and we need to move through it to progress. Love light and happiness begins with you. " Guru Ganesha



Gay director John Waters muses on the current state of the gay community. Click here

Russian billionaire calls for the extermination of all gays and lesbians on Moscow public radio.

*Photos above by Jeff Kilmer from his recent book "23%".

Kundalini What? Kripalu Where? Yoga How?

I want my enlightenment damnit!- I yell from the back seat, anxious to get to our weekend retreat with my overworked sister and overachieving family friend to force ourselves to find some solace and moments of quiet bliss.

Arriving at Kripalu, you find yourself in a magical setting amidst a countryside that looks a lot like a Harry Potter movie set complete with lush, green mountains, castle-like mansions from America's golden industrial age and no visible cities within miles. Down the street from Kripalu is it's sterilized, heartless competition; Canyon Ranch. Kripalu doesn't even attempt tocompetewith luxe, Canyon Ranch, they are two completely separate entities attracting completelydifferent crowds. As you pass through the mist-bathed entrance gate at Kripalu, you get the feeling you are entering into another dimension, it's location, far removed from Boston's city energy, making it the perfect setting to get one's "mojo" back and recharge. I breathe in and notice the air tastes as pure as freshly fallen snow. Let's get en-light-ened girls! As we bust open the doors to the main lobby to register we see groups of young and graceful Yogaholics wielding yoga mats instead of Blackberries or Iphones (cellphone use is "requested"to be used away from common areas like smoking) and sporting flip flops, sweats and tanks instead of Jedi Light sabers and Obi-Wan robes.

These guiding lights to the rest of humanity that opt to medicate not with pharmaceuticals and antidepressants but instead with a healthy obsession for the ancient practice of Yoga.

Like Jedi knights gathering to sharpen their skills against the dark forces of this world, these yogic warriors of light are ready to deal with life's challenges as long as they have space to lay down their mats and time to practice and meditate. I was quickly disappointed by the lack of representation of gay men among these Yogaholic minions. I asked myself, "where are my gays?". There were plenty of lesbians representin' but about 2 gay guys (including myself) in attendance on this weekend retreat. Yoga seems to attract those that are in the process of leaving their ego's behind or at least trying to. It's a practice that causes the false ego or "id" to be left behind as you reconnect with your true inner self.

Have we been too busy "chasing papi" or proving our value to the rest of the world in showing off our fashion sense, intellectual prowess, cultural contributions, etc. that we forgot to work on our "insides"? I dare say that gay men in this country are fundamentally lacking in the area of spiritual growth and are generations behind the heteros. I dont blame them, for every organized religion on the planet (except for Buddhism) has not only rejected but spewed hatred against us, spawning generations of minions to attack, arrest, bully and flat out prevent us from gaining acceptance, every step of the way. Problem is, spirituality is such a sore subject for us gays that we forgot to replace religion with a good old simple connection to the divine or the "Big Queen"upstairs. We used to be the shaman-the spiritual leaders of our tribes. That all changed after organized religions took over. Guru Ganesha from Miami explains that Kundalini as well as Kabbalistic knowledge comes from a time "pre-religion", a time on this planet before any of our world religions were herding us into our nationalistic corrals. It was passed down even before Yoga was created, from high priests of Egypt and even as far back as Atlantis. Whether you believe in it's mysterious origins or not, it's power to awaken and release energy in you is undeniably felt after even the first session. I once took my 14 year old nephew to his first Kundalini Yoga session and he was left dumbfounded and confessed that he felt as if he had left his body at the end of the class. A pretty impressive thumbs-up coming from a hormonal teen, addicted to YouTube, chatting and World of Warcraft. Kundalini comes with a psychological warning label, called "kundalini syndrome" where if you are a person that has either repressed psychological trauma or some level of mental illness it will quickly be released and cause problems if not properly led by an experienced teacher. Kundalini is basically the fastest way to awaken our internal fire and universal power. It was never meant to be revealed to the masses until one real maverick-y Guru; Yogi Bhajan decided to channel his inner Madonna, break all the rules and share it with the masses beginning in 1969. It was a sacred knowledge reserved for the spiritual elite, warriors and leaders.

I came to this oasis on mother Earth to recharge and release all the icky negative vibes of being yet another victim of corporate downsizing after 14 years of uber dedicated corporate soldier-ness. I came to regain my own natural and vibrant "flow". This weekend was being hosted by one of the sweetest voices I've ever heard this side of Mars, my personal idol, Snatam Kaur. I've heard her music played many times at the Standard on my regular Kundalini Yoga friday nights, one of the best ways to end the week in Miami.

My songstress finally arrives to the meditation room and my heart skips a beat. I quickly realized I was in the presence of an enlightened and pure being with no agenda except for sharing her exquisite light. This petite human Yoda is the most unassuming woman and mother with a voice so sweet that it literally changes the vibration of your cells and frees your heart, if you let it.

Snatam Kaur and her band of spiritual gangsters (Guru Ganesh on guitar and Ramesh on drums) lead us to perform several simple Kundalini "asanas" or exercises to open us up emotionally, spiritually and physically. I came to reboot my health and got more than I bargained for, I felt as if my insides were being restructured on a cellular level giving me a whole new sense of calm. I realized that I needed to befriend my soul again and that I was being untrue to myself for too long-selling myself out just for the peace and security of a steady paycheck, 401K, dental, health and life insurance. I am now learning to fly and thrive without all those perks and forge my own new path....no longer a rat in a gilded cage.

Snatam soon taught us that chanting is just as important as Yoga in that it rises the "prana" or life force in our bodies. The chanting combined with the repetitive movements and breathwork of Kundalini eventually caused reality to melt away and my vision to become filled with hundreds of golden bees in a hive rubbing our wings to the same beat...I became a bee in this hive nestled in the Berkshire mountains west of Boston and our Queen Bee was Snatam Kaur.

She was a queen without claiming to be, she was really just a cool chick that just happened to have a mission in life to enlighten and help others ascend while in physical form. She played the violin, harmonium and used her sweet voice to unify and raise our vibrations to a liberating pitch.

The last night at the concert there was a free flow, jam with people singing, moving and not giving a damn if they looked cool or not. It was simply a room full of people separated from their ego's and free flowing with the music. Even Harvard chaplain Lama Myngmar got into the fray and said "Buddhists should do this more often." as he joyfully let himself go and threw out some new quirky dance moves. I called the event, the "Kundalini hoe-down".

The last day we all sang her most popular song together and she sent us along with her blessing...."May the long time sun shine upon you all surround you and the pure light within you guide your way home."

Fast forward, weeks later to the frenetic modern day city of Miami and I am sitting with electrical sensors glued to my head for a brain training session using biofeedback to improve my cognitive ability and help with my constant migraines stemming from my a previous auto accident that caused a concussion.

I quickly have another "a-ha" moment on my first session and realize that the sounds they are force feeding my brain through the headphones are eerily reminiscent to the chant patterns and sounds from my weekend at Kripalu. Could science finally have caught up to what the yogis have known for thousands of years and created a fast track to enlightenment or higher thinking? I asked the technician and he laughs and says "funny you say that.". It turns out the scientist that developed the technology went to India to monasteries to test the brains of monks to use as a baseline of a well balanced brain to train others to attain that level of brain proficiency. Science has actually recently and finally proven that the brains of people that do meditate frequently have less thinning of brain tissue related to cognitive thinking and have more active areas that are related to concentration. Another study even proved that long term meditation can actually heal areas of the brain affected by traumas.

"You follow desire, and you are not satisfied. Again you follow desire, and again you are not satisfied. Again you try, and again you are not satisfied."-- Lama Zopa Rinpoche,
"Transforming Problems Into Happiness"

You can have sex with the most beautiful men or women on the planet and collect so many notches on your bedpost that you'll need a new bed. Still, like chinese food, you'll soon feel unsatisfied and empty inside. You can travel thousands of miles and spend thousands of dollars to learn from Buddhist monks nestled in their mountain hideaways to find out that all what they know is for you to find your answers and your highest truth-all you have to do is quiet your mind and listen-its all there inside each and every one of us if we can only shut out the millions of thoughts and needs and concerns and just sit and "be" for a moment, all the answers we need will come to us. Some of us have forests of "weeds" to clear through but eventually you do get there and once you do you can only do one thing-be true to yourself and finally befriend yourself and true to your life's purpose.

Like Guru Ganesh joked at Kripalu; there are 51 flavors and paths to spiritual awakening. For me, the path has been a combo platter of yoga, chanting, massage therapy, good health, avoiding drugs or negative people, brain training with a healthy dose of optimism drizzled over the top. For you, it might be planting violets or raising Emu's -whichever flavor you choose the goal is the same; to feel really satisfied with a deliciously flavored life and finally feel fulfilled. I don't claim to be an expert but I am a product of this generation's quest to improve ourselves and eradicate the mistakes of generations past. I have vowed to not die young or suffer from 8 strokes or diabetes like my father before me-I choose to make him proud by pushing further than he ever got the chance to.

The benefits of yoga aren't just about getting rock-hard Madonna arms or relieving stress-its a practice that takes a lifetime to perfect and refines your body and life force as you go along-its a hell of a lot better than a hangover from a night of partying and sometimes can be better than sex-okay, well almost as good as sex.

"Liberate your joy and enjoy the bliss, be true to yourself and befriend your soul.
Growth stops, evolution stops when you stop trying to improve your heart." The Dalai Lama

How Do You Mend a Gay Broken Heart

Damn, Damn, Damn it, I did it again! Check me into Heartbreak Hotel. Another failed love, another risk, gain, then horribly tragic loss. When will I learn? Learn what though? To not love at all? I can't stop loving but I can be wiser in how I love the next time and how I maintain that love. Forgive the autobiographical rant but I am in desperate need of blog-therapy and have discovered that there are absolutely no books out there on how to heal a gay broken heart (I Google'd and Amazon'ed) and there is no pill to take away the pain of the knife wedged in my heart. All I do have is time to process what caused the collapse and in the words of a friend, "take it not day by day but hour by hour".

This love lost was the grandest, most beautiful and real love I ever had in my life, challenging me to the best version of me possible. It renewed my faith that a true and mutual love is possible in the Gay world of today with real morals and real fidelity. It even got me believing in the "M word" (marriage) for the first time. He was my rock, my confidant, my protector, my burning love, my privilege to have and to hold every night.

A guru once said the most difficult people in your life teach you the biggest lessons. In love, one can find the biggest teacher and the highest lessons we can learn in this life. If you can hack it. There are never any guarantees or insurance policies to protect you from a broken heart, no matter whom you choose to love.

I have friends that for over 15 years have been single and its not for lack of being virile, valuable or attractive. They'd rather not risk the pain (at least that's my theory). They are content in their safe, self-reliant bubbles, with no one to let you down except yourself. It takes a huge amount of trust to put your heart in the care of another. Yet, I still believe it is worth the ride and to at least have gathered some beautiful memories that to have none at all. To be content in knowing true love at all. Some never have that luxury in their entire lifetimes. Some are lucky if they can get fresh water for the day or keep their bodies nourished and under shelter. Love is indeed the most expensive, highest and rarest luxury on our blue bubble we call home.

The beautiful spell I was under for almost 2 years has been broken and turned into a beautiful lie overnight. Where's my brokeback cowboy that doesn't know how to quit me? Where is the loyalty that lasts a lifetime? I ran into an elderly couple that have been married for 60 years and they revealed the secret to their marriage was rather simple, back then people would work 13-14 hours a day and by the time the husband came home he'd be too tired to gripe or argue. Ah, ain't love grand?

Am I an outdated dinosaur? Is this kind of love a thing of the past in our throwaway and unsustainable society? Or is it something people will strive towards in our next evolutionary step? Food, energy, transportation, love that lasts; less disposability. An Obama-style overhaul is needed because if that oil spill gushing right now into the Gulf of Mexico has taught us anything is that our old ways are "messy and wasteful" to say the least. Maybe love will be more everlasting as we tire of the newer and newer versions of any given product and learn to stick with what we got and simply improve on how we use it. I may not be an Iphone but I can release improved versions of me as quickly as Apple does.

Here are some self-help steps towards healing a broken heart:

STEP 1- THE MIGHTY CRASH

Whether you catch your loved one cheating or they move out on a moment's notice to be in the arms of their new cheap replacement, is insignificant. What is important is to not do anything you will regret later or get arrested for, no matter how badly they deserve it. Like the gay man in South Beach who found his lover in bed with another and shot his lover then himself in the head, it just isn't worth going to jail for them. The sharp pain of the "crash" must be dealt with immediately and in the healthiest way possible which means to get yourself as far away from the one that hurt you as possible and stay away as best you can. Go to your mother's, your best friend's couch, wherever. Plan your strategy on how to deal with this new challenge life has brought you. The lessons from it won't come until about a month or more after the initial crash. After the first week, you instinctively lean on your tried and true loved ones and friends. Daily doses of Xanax or Prozac isn't a bad idea right about now. Let it all out, cry and cry as much as you can. Stay in bed until you can't any longer. Like singer Robyn wails, it will hurt with every heartbeat. After about the 7th day of holding back tears and punching your shower wall you will begin to desperately yearn to move on and stop looking back. It's now time to go to the next step towards recovery.

STEP #2 COPING WITH THE PAIN

Talk to your friends until you don't want to talk about it anymore. You'll be surprised how many people will open up and share their heartbreaks that are so horrible it'll make your's feel like a cake walk. Work past the emotional phase of blaming yourself. It isn't about you, it's about what they needed. No matter how hard you tried, you could have never filled that void. The two of you were not "meant to be" at least any longer than right now.

STEP #3 FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF AGAIN

Get your "J" on and touch yourself for as long as you can. Like milk, it's good for you. Learn how to love that man in the mirror you see everyday. Hit the gym again, hardcore especially on the most depressing day of them all for single people-SUNDAY (roll your eyes annoyed like). The day of the week that everyone snuggles up in bed with their loved one to catch up on Z's and watch movies, eating like a flunky from the Biggest Loser. While the love birds go at it, you will be getting ripped, gifting you an admiration for your new found muscle tone. Fall back in love with your IPod and make a "Breakup-Forget the Butthole playlist" because these are the times that silence is anything but golden. Being home in the sudden silence is literally deafening. Being out of the house as much as possible is the best medicine right about now. Suck up that good ol' Miami sun and get nature's "happy hormones" in the form of Vitamin D. The flip side of depression is that you get to lose some of that stubborn fat. I call it the "Depression Diet" others like to call it the "Divorce Diet". Either way, make sure you at least get some protein in the form of a smoothie. Getting hospitalized will not bring the deserter back.
Carefully select your new mantra-songs to uplift, forget and empower. Stay away from the tear jerkers. No Whitney, Celine or Barbara Streisand (The Way We Were). Listen to these "Eye of the Tiger" songs over and over until their lessons are fully ingrained in your psyche and like Stella you slowly regain your "groove". During this phase, you must write down and list all the things the EX didn't or couldn't do to make you happy (You know what they are). It's essential to go through this step so you can identify the right candidate the next time one comes a'knocking. The true test to see if you are beginning to get over the worm is if you can come up with more things that didnt make you happy than did. There IS a reason for this break, you just didn't want to see it as fast as they did. Your reward is that you will be well on your way to officially be over the he\she\it that hurt you in the first place. After the dust has settled, you will identify all the things you forgave that weren't making you happy and quickly realize they really did you a favor.

Relationships are stepping stones until you climb up to your highest love. There are a few rare unicorns out there that are lucky enough to find it on their first try but for the majority of us, it's a lifelong process.

Suicide prevention tip #1

 Never, ever, ever think the person you are currently in love with is the only and last person you can ever be with no matter how much you love them because if for any reason they leave your life, you won't be able to live without them. There are billions of other people on this planet to fall in love with....or at least millions out of those billions...okay, at least a few hundred thousand.

Here's my break-up playlist (feel free to steal away):

Love is Gone by David Guetta

Dont trust the ho- by 3OH!3

Alone by Maya (lyrics begin at 2:25)
Bulletproof by LaRoux
I've Got Soul by The Killers
According to You by Orianthi
With Every Heartbeat by Robyn
Keep on rising by Ian Carey
Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger
If I Were a Boy (remix only) by Beyonce'

Leave, get out by Jojo
Only When I Lose Myself by Depeche Mode

Suicide prevention tip #2

Do not under any circumstance listen to Sarah McLachlan or Enya and you are absolutely forbidden from downloading The Crying Game by Boy George.

STEP 4- THE RITUAL OF LETTING GO



If you are still feeling sorry for yourself and can't seem to shake the pain out of your heart and mind, a little telenovela-esque, dramatic ceremony to forget is called for. Gather all flammable items the offender has ever given you (stuffed animals, concert or movie ticket stubs, anniversary or Valentine's day cards, etc) and torch them in a bonfire inside a metallic container. Gather the ashes and take them to the nearest ocean, river or toilet if you live in the sticks. Before you dump the ashes, ritually take in as many deep breaths as the months or years you were together. Visualize all the illusions, broken promises, beautiful words and future plans you may still be carrying get washed away and released along with the ashes as they hit the water. You can keep the fond memories as long as they don't hurt to recall them.



STEP 5- HOLISTIC RETREAT FOR SELF EMPOWERMENT

If you are still being haunted by your heartbreak consider getting out of dodge and attend a holistic retreat for self empowerment via the age old practices of Yoga, Meditation or Buddhism. For those less spiritually inclined, an island getaway for some R&R could be just the trick. Also, it couldn't hurt to volunteer to help the impoverished or those less fortunate. It's a great way to put things into perspective when you see others a lot less fortunate than yourself.

STEP 6- GOOD OLD SCHOOL THERAPY WITH PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION

If any of the above fail then it's time to schedule yourself to see a licensed therapist and some good antidepressants for a short term to finally knock it out of the park. There might be some deeper issues lingering in your psyche that a good therapist might help uncover. Be open to hypno-regression because the problem might just be stemming from a previous lifetime.

Whatever the case, you HAVE to pick up the pieces and put humpty dumpty back together again and believe that the next guy will be better because if he isn't, you'll see it coming...hopefully.

A friend sent me this quote, "When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better". Buddhism teaches you that pain is essential to finding the way to a happy life as it helps us like a mouse in a maze to find our cheese, avoiding the traps or pitfalls along the way. The love once had is gone now and it is what it was. You must trudge forth and regain your faith slowly, bit by bit, on your own. Refuse to give up on the belief that love can transform and push you to do remarkable things. A love so pure that ego isn't a player at all. As Depeche Mode sings, "It's only when I lose myself in someone else that I find myself.". Your heart will prevail. You will prevail. Instead of saying "Poor me-forget about love alltogether!" chant "Om Mani Padme Hum" repeatedly until your heart's pain eventually ebbs.

**These tips above can be applied to a heterosexual broken heart as well. Looks like we're not as different as we thought we were.

Where Are Our Gay Super Heroes?

Oprah & Gayle, Batman & Robin, even Flash Gordon & Green Lantern all look gay to me but they are all ambiguously gay or completely on the "Down Low", like SNL's Ambiguosly Gay Duo.

Across the pond, the great Brit's, always one upping us in social acceptance and progressive measures (they've had nationalized health care for years) already has a gay, semi-hero main character in their Sci Fi show, Torchwood.

I guess if I was a superhero and I wanted to save the world, I'd hide my dirty little secret too but this isn't the 1950's of Superman's era, It's 2010 and it isn't a dirty little secret anymore. So where are all the gay super heroes then?

This year we got our Rosa Parks' in the form of the lesbian named Constance McMillan taking her high school to court because she believes in her right to take her girlfriend to her high school prom.

We elected our Martin Luther King in the form of Obama, championing our rights out loud and chipping away at the age old bigotry holding this country back.

I've heard rumors the Rock might be gay. He plays super heroes in his movies- but he isn't out....at least yet.

Oprah is a social super hero, hell she even picked the president of the United States. That's a power gay if i ever saw one but she isn't out...yet.

There's an openly gay mayor in France -that's pretty sweet and he's out but that's France and that whole country is gay. He might step to the plate in 2012 where he is predicted to win the next presidential election.

There is one openly gay world leader in Norway. Prime Minister, Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir. Hopefully she'll get a chance to wield her "gay super powers" and we could finally have our world's first Gay Super Hero.

So the $100 million dollar question is when will the United States have it's first "out" Gay Hero? When will we stop being so gosh-darn apathetically-polite and channel our inner Madonna and strap on some pointy bra's and open up a big old can of whoopass to win equality?

We are the ones we have been waiting for. The second coming of Christ is within each and every one of us. It isn't one guy coming down as an agent for the big he\she\it upstairs, it's the God within us that will come into being, clearing the way, lifting the fog of ages and confusion of religions. If there ever was proof of this power, were the 2008 elections where our country finally got the president we wanted, fair and square.

The next Gay Super Hero can be each and every one of us....gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, humans, all soldiers of peace united in a common cause for equal justice and liberty of all, punching out the Super Villains of hate that divide us and drain our resources as a race. Imagine all the progress we could make in other areas of life if we didn't have to have the hundreds of coalitions fighting for and against gay rights. We could tackle the real issues like preventing the complete destruction of our planet, end starvation and poverty and hey, maybe cure cancer or even the common cold.

Ask yourself what will you do today to contribute to the cause? Will you be our next Super Hero?

Customize this video and visualize yourself saving the world here: http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1268232928984RA21

New initiative promoting gay american heroes.


Here is a 3-D Video of what the Traveling Rainbow Memorial will look like.
http://www.vimeo.com/2334727

Stan lee creator of Spiderman reported to be creating a new gay superhero:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/4237161/Stan-Lee-to-create-worlds-first-gay-superhero.html

I Told You So! Ricky Finally Comes Out!

As I blogged about December 17, 2008 and the so many others have conjectured, Ricky Martin -our very own first latino gay role model has finally come out of the closet. It is a day for celebration that he finally feels safe enough and the courage to do so. Maybe it's the Obama administration's new effort to repeal the military's prehistorically outdated policy of "Don't Ask don't Tell" or our new president's myriad of speeches in our favor or the worldwide movement all over the news every day for the last 10 years of our fight for civil rights finally made Ricky Martin think, "Hmm, now that I have all my riches and two little mini-me's, maybe I can do something to give back and help my gay brethren that I've always denied?".

Who knows, if he'll go the way of a true "Superstar" the way Lupe Fiasco so beautifully sings it and "improve on the design"or maybe he'll just be another embarrasment for our cause and go the way of George Michael, Boy George and Richard Simmons, where we'll ultimately be pleading for him to go back into that closet. Whatever the case, thousands of Latin American gays will be a little more inclined to come out now and we just might finally have a really good role model for young gay latinos struggling with their identity.

Ricky martin was quoted on his website “These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed” "I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am."

Hat's off to Ricky for finally accepting himself for who he is and coming clean with the rest of the world or at least the 22 people out there that didn't know he was gay yet.

Read the full confession from his website:

"A few months ago I decided to write my memoirs, a project I knew was going to bring me closer to an amazing turning point in my life. From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time. Things that were too heavy for me to keep inside. Writing this account of my life, I got very close to my truth. And this is something worth celebrating.

For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that's the stage. Being on stage fills my soul in many ways, almost completely. It's my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive. I don't ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I'm at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment. At this moment I'm feeling the same freedom I usually feel only on stage, without a doubt, I need to share.

Many people told me: "Ricky it's not important", "it's not worth it", "all the years you've worked and everything you've built will collapse", "many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature". Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.

If someone asked me today, "Ricky, what are you afraid of?" I would answer "the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war…child slavery, terrorism…the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith." But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.

These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed.

What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

RM"

Rolling Stone article on his confession: http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2010/03/29/yep-hes-gay-ricky-martin-comes-out-of-the-closet/

Ricky Martin recounts the moment he came out with Oprah:

This Gay Rights Tango- Our Dance Towards Full Equality

On December 28th, 2009 Evita Peron's smile beamed down on her country from her Presidential Palace in the heavens above. Always an ardent fighter for the repressed and poor, Latin America's first gay marriage would've brought tears of joy to this goddess of Argentina's history. Evita has said "A decent woman is one who rides roughshod over machos."

This national icon and eternal fag-hag would be proud knowing that in her country, the "gay's" had finally overcome the bully that is the powerful Roman Catholic Church to finally witness the marriage of Latin America's first gay couple. Latin America, like the Middle East has a strong male dominant society where tolerance of sexual diversity is non-existent and violence against gays is a common occurrence. This marriage highlights the cracks in the system that has kept gay communities silent and fearful and that it is indeed crumbling.

A little less free but a lot more gay and happy

This whole marriage thing is a hallmark that we finally have the self-esteem to believe that another man is worth loving for the rest of your life. That we ourselves are good enough to marry another and have a chance at something as sparkling clean as a true love that may last a lifetime. It is a coming of age for a generation of gay men, forging a free and truly gay life for future generations of our gay brethren. In the words of Latin America's first groom, "Because "our" family is worth it.".

Worldwide, the advances have been peppered with setbacks in a strange 1-2 step tango. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, 1 step sideways, cha cha cha.

Back to America, I wait for my partner of a year and a half to return from our local grocery store to fetch Almond milk when suddenly my 8 year old nephew blurts out, "Tio, I dont want you to be gay anymore!". A pregnant moment of silence later, I whip my head to the back seat and see my nephew avoiding my gaze, visibly upset and looking out the window. This is a boy that has been an integral part of my life for 8 years, and the son of a single mom whom is my sister. He has always accepted me and my life and my partner as normally as anyone would of a normal heterosexual couple. He has simply never known hate and is as pure as the day he was born, which is partly why he can make friends with anyone of any age, color or social class within seconds of meeting them. It is one of his greatest qualities and he's as magnaminous as Obama in that respect. At a loss for words, I ask him, "Why would you say that to me? Who did you talk to about this?". He replied back still looking out the window, "These boys at school said that gays shouldn't be in this country and need to go away.". Black and white images of civil rights protests where policemen spray down black protesters in the middle of the street came to mind. I was being talked about the way the racists in the 60's talked about blacks. They wished they would just all go away. The irony of the account was blaringly obvious. I replied to him "Well, honey you know that is what you call "hate"and when your grandma came to this country from Cuba there were signs posted on buildings saying "No Cubans". It was very hard for her to get a job or to find a place to live because the people in Miami didn't want Cubans in this country either. Since your father is a black man living in Venezuela, he also has to deal with people hating him because of his color. I can't stop being gay any more than your grandmother can stop being Latino or your father being black. The next time you hear those boys saying things like that you stand up to them and tell them that's not right and tell your teacher.". My nephew finally turned away from the window and looks at me with doeful and watery eyes, "Ok Tio, I love you.". I reply, "I love you too."

I recount this incident because there is no greater hypocrisy than when a group that has survived marginalization to go and downplay another marginalized group's struggle. They should be the first one's running to the plate to help fight the battle. When Black religious leaders stand at their podiums and preach that their civil rights movement has nothing in common with ours or that we are "pimping their movement", I call "bullshit" because it IS the same. The same hatred, the same narrow mindedness, the same ignorance, the same rhetoric and the same limitations and dangers to my life. So much so, that the team fighting to overturn Proposition 8 as I write this blog has used the example that our President Obama would never have been born if the laws prohibiting blacks from marrying whites were never overturned in this country.

We are witnessing one of the most crucial battles in American history that may not go in our favor due to an overly conservative Supreme Court but we will keep fighting because it is our right to do so and the limits to our rights are constitutionally wrong.

The growing worldwide tide for our cause may be the only thing to finally wrestle the medieval chokehold the religious right has on this country and it's politics and push our courts to finally overturn this legislated discrimination.

As we look forward to (2010) twenty-ten (doesn't that sound positive?), we see a world wrangling together to help a devastated Haitian country with thousands dead and we are pushed to begin a year with a thoughtful focus on humanity and unity. Hopefully this focus will carry on throughout the year and years to come as we will eventually break through and gain our full equality in this great country where anything is possible. Maybe then we can stop doing this Gay Rights back and forth Tango and finally waltz our asses to our nearest city hall and finally get married.

Gay right's milestones 2009

*Mexico City is first Latin American city to legalize full, gay marriage.
*Uganda plans a bill that would serve a death penalty to homosexuals in that country.
*Obama promises to end Dont Ask Dont Tell to a crowd of gay activists at a fundraiser.
*Argentina passes full gay marriage rights.
*An Argentinian judge puts a hold on Argentina's first gay marriage in order to "review" the ruling then approves after their home province backs the marriage.
*Washington D.C. passes gay marriage.
*New York votes defeats gay marriage bill.
*Portugal passes full gay marriage rights with adoption rights granted by April 2010.
*Voters in Maine vote against gay marriage rejecting the measure.
*The biggest city in America, Houston, Texas elects the first openly gay mayor of any U.S. city.
*California's Supreme Court upholds the discriminatory Proposition 8.
*Sweden approves same sex marriage.
*Iowa and Vermont sign legislation to allow gay marriage.
*Obama signs into law the Matthew Shepard hate crimes act and extends federal benefits to partners of same sex couples.


Milestones to look forward to for 2010

*Hawaii will review legislature to revive civil unions for gays in that state.
*Senator Carl Levin will schedule a hearing to discuss ending the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy.
*The Supreme Court will vote on whether or not Proposition 8 should be overturned.

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Time magazine's gay right's timeline:
http://www.time.com/time/interactive/0,31813,1904681,00.html

To get up to date info on the Supreme Court trial go to:
http://www.couragecampaign.org/GetTheTruthOut

Hawaii will vote for Gay Civil Unions this year:
http://www.gayvantage.com/gay-news/hawaii-legislators-to-vote-on-civil-unions-3748291780/

Repeal of the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell to be debated on Capitol Hill 2010:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/gay-military-ban-military_n_422893.html

The United States elects it's first openly gay mayor:
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1947648,00.html

The debbie-downer-Pope at it again-calling gay marriage an "attack"
http://advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/01/11/Pope_Calls_Gay_Marriage_an_Attack/

Latin America weds it's first gay couple:
http://news.yahoo.com/video/world-15749633/argentina-hosts-first-gay-marriage-in-latin-america-17352907