Friday, January 9, 2009

A mother's gay-straight alliance with her son

Today, more than ever I am proud to be the son of a mother who has joined me as a dedicated soldier in my fight for equality. Today, my mother; Doctora Isabel Gomez-Bassols asked me to speak on her national radio talk show on Univision radio to debate our points of view regarding whether or not celebrities should come out of the closet to aid in the gay civil rights battle in this country. After reading my blog about the topic I had explained to her that it is a social war and the most dangerous gays are the ones that are in the closet and that are so self-hating that they'll do anything in their power to undermine our struggle just to free themselves from being discovered as being gay themselves. The Catholic church is chock-full of self-hating gays preaching for others to not accept us. The government also has it's shar of self-hating, closeted gays (Senator Larry Craig, Mark Foley) pushing for laws denying any rights to my people. The same way whites in the north stood up to the false notions of racists in this country that discrimination because of color was unjust, my mother has utilized the platform of her show to help me in being vocal for gays in this country to finally win and end their struggle for full civil rights. One day, we will look back and laugh at all this bickering and manipulation by religious establishments. One day hopefully, religious institutions will be a thing of the past too. I envision a world without separate and divisive religious organizations, a world with one, unified belief system, without religious doctrine based on fear. All religions believe in god so why can't we just boil it down to one belief system that holds love amongst men unconditionally to be the highest form of spirituality? After all, isn't that the purpose of spirituality, to spread God, Mohammed's, Allah, whomever's message of love to all?

I guess being a son of such a powerful and intelligent woman rubs off on you in some way. I guess that's where I get the conviction to live out and proud and speak on her national radio show to defend the rights of gays in this country. She did a perfect job of raising me and for this I thank her and pay homage to her in this blog.

When I decided to tell my mother my most tragic and sad secret, it was motivated from my trying to live a more honest, truthful life. In the same way I felt it was disrespectful to be with a woman sexually and fantasize about being with a man, it was disrespectful and hurtful to have her believe the lie that I was straight, regardless of whether that lie was supported by her self-inflicted illusions or my actions to hide it. Her being a mom first and psychologist second trumped her education and her initial reaction was that it was a result of not having enough interaction or affection from my father. It was more a knee-jerk reaction to my announcement than an actual belief. In the end, she knew better.

When my farm raised, Cuban father found out, it hit him so hard that all he could do was ask himself where he went wrong. He was so focused on what he did wrong to cause this to happen to his secretly favorite son. The son that he thought would bring pride to his name, succeed where he went wrong and completely eat that piece of American Pie he came to this country for. I'll never forget how my sister told me of the night he broke down and fell to the floor crying after getting out of his truck on his way home from work. He kept rambling and crying uncontrollably, asking her "Where did I go wrong?, What did I do to make him this way? That night in a reversal of roles, she cried with our father and held him as if he was her son. He was a man that never cried not even at his father's own funeral. It wasn't his fault, nor my mother's. He did nothing to cause what I was and am today. I can confidently confess with every cell in my physical being and every bit of my soul that I was simply born that way. It is not a curable disease, it is simply another color in the human rainbow, another way to love. Not the destruction of humanity but rather a challenge to humanity for compassion and understanding among men, across cultural and national borders. Homosexuality has always and will always exist just as heterosexuality has in every country in the world. We will not go away or disappear into invisibility. We are humans, Americans, leaders, sons, daughters, citizens of this world with our only wish being to be left alone to live out our lives and learn our karmic lessons in this life along with the rest of the beings on this blue marble we call Earth. If you are a fellow warrior, now is the time to be vocal, to not be afraid to stand up in church, at dinner tables, parties, wherever hatred is espoused against fellow humans whom happen to be homosexual. It is time to call people out on their hatred wrapped in religious justifications. The year is 2009, it is time for us to get over this to move on to bigger and greater things like saving this Earth before we completely extinguish ourselves. That, my friends is the real threat to humanity. If my mother were Pope, that is what she would preach. Why is it again that women can't be pope?

Pope accused of stoking homophobia after he equates homosexuality to climate change:

Listen to the recording of my mother's show where we debate over closeted celebrities (in Spanish) 1/9/09



Take a bow Eric! You and your mom were very inspiring on the show on Friday. You should do more of these. Listeners will be touched by how much she loves you and how she's your biggest advocate.

la fairy azul said...

i agree with most of what you are saying, and thank god your mother understood about your choices. i understand that this issues need to come out, and people in the closet are not helping the gay community, but i do believe that they need to come out when they are ready. they need to get there because they will be happier, but still, it´s a process that for some people it takes longer, specially celebrities, and i think we should respect that. is good that you bring this topic alive, to encourage others to do the same... you are being the party pooper, and as much as i disagree with it, i know it can go a long way. 2009 for full gay rights!

Mariacaro said...

I completely agree with you, Eric. I think you have a wonderful mother who loves you and accepts you the way you are. I was born and raised in a very catholic family (Italian), however, my parents always taught me and my brothers that we are all the same no matter of color, religion or sexuality. I'm proud of them for being so "modern" and unique in that retrograde society. I agree with Johnny...take a bow!! It was not easy for you and you are an inspiration for people to do the same...come out!!!

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