Friday, February 13, 2009

How do the "Gays" Say I Love You on St. Valentine's Day?

There are a trillion ways to celebrate and say I "heart" you in honor of the pagan holiday dressed up as a catholic one. In Roman times a popular festival called the Lupercalia was held annually, February 15th. Young nobles called Luperci, ran around Palatine hill in Rome in what is believed to have been a purification ritual. The young men were naked, except for the skins of goats that had been sacrificed that day, they would strike women they met on the hands with strips of sacrificial goatskin to promote fertility. While in modern times we still get naked and slap each other with skin, here are some other options to spice it up on "VD Day" (heteros can enjoy too):

* Do the latin-ghetto-fab thing and rent a cheap motel on Calle 8 (8th street). Pack matching leopard print bikini underwear, cheap champagne and an Iphone loaded with "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" to play in your uber-tacky romper room. (hint-mirrored ceilings are way hot).

*Have adventurous sex- call your partner to come up to your office after hours and do the nasty on your desk (make sure the door is locked in case the cleaning people bust in on you).

*Do your own strip tease for your partner with some new sexy underwear you bought online. song suggestion- I Got it From My Mama by the Black Eyed Peas or anything by Elvis

*Go skinny dipping on South Beach and after having a light dinner (so you still look good naked after eating). Light up a joint of the most primo herb you can find and get buck-nekked under the moonlight, remembering to stay near the shore so you don't get eaten by sharks.

*Pick out some some toys or new kind of lube together at your nearest sex shop and have some kinky fun

*Buy a jar of chocolate paint and go Picasso on your lover's body! (warning heating up the chocolate in microwave can genitalia)

*Pick out a couple of positions while blindfolded from a Kama Sutra book, (or Google it if you don't have the book handy) performing them to see which one is your new favorite.

*Re-enact that famous love scene from 9 1/2 Weeks movie when Mickey Rourke was hot. Take turns blindfolding and feeding surprising bits of sexy food to one another (no hamburgers and remember to play some sexy music in the background to complete the mood).

*Soo cute pillows of love, most are of straight couples but some are androgynous enough to pass as two same sex couples. They are cute nonetheless...

*Get matching symbolic tattoos (stay away from putting names in, just in case) My personal tattoo master is Miki, he's dutch and way cool and patient, a true artiste. (786-315-0222 in Aventura).

*Here's one for the "Ellen's" (lesbians) out there-Act out a mock wedding in your living room just for fun and dress up your dogs or cats as maids of honor, making sure you are in sexy lingerie and veils only.

*Get a couple's massage at my little secret hideaway spa, Skin Institute on 135th and Biscayne. Get pampered by super gay-friendly diva Sheila Treadway, a master at the art of pampering the skin. The supreme is her 24K gold facials. Check her Valentine's day specials-(305) 371-7435 Don't miss going in her high tech infrared heat sauna with your partner.

*Enjoy a Yoga session together at the Standard Hotel on South Beach. Take a dip in their pool and water fall hot tub then chow-down on their outdoor bayside dock, under the stars (keeping your robes on, of course)

*Park in Coconut Grove public park and bike ride to Key Biscayne. Make a pitstop at Rusty Pelican for a couple of daiquiris (they make the ride home so much more painless) and take in the amazing view of Miami's growing skyline. End the night with a dip in a hot tub or in your bathtub if a hot tub isn't available, soothing your sore muscles and have some slippery, wet fun.

*go to a traditionally straight event and show them that we have "real" love too. Live Jazz concert under the stars at the Deering Estate in Miami's neighborhood version of Wisteria Lane (Pinecrest).

We should ideally make every day "VD day" but in today's frenetic world, it's nice to make your loved one's feel loved at least on the weekends. If you don't subscribe to these forced holidays then chuck this entire blog into your mind's waste bin. That is one of the pleasures of being gay, we have license to run free of society's norms.

How it all started: St. Valentine's Pagan origins (before the Catholic Church stole it)


la fairy azul said...

mi amor, feliz día del amor y la amistad...
voy a tomar en consideración algunos de tus consejos... nuevas posiciones, jugueticos...

te quiero

Crazygirl said...

This is sooo nice!!! A perfect V-Day in Miami (except for the motel 8 stuff...ewww). It's a shame you didn't post it before...I would have loved to go to do most of the things in your list...but anyway....I have a latin macho for a "marido" romance...Sometimes I think I need a woman instead of a man...
Skinny dipping in South Beach...I'm trying to convince my Adorado tormento...but he's afraid of the police!!
I wish you the best V-day!!!!!

killer queen said...

You are great!!
Greetings from Argentina!

Crazygirl said...

Hey Eric!! How was your V-Day?
I sent a friend from Argentina to your blog so she could follow some of your tips. She loved it!!
Talk to you later...

Fernandez said...

Hello, I agree with you! But here everyone should be careful. Thanks for your post. take care yourself.

EricInMiami said...

Thanks Crazy Girl! you are the best!

Crazygirl said...

Hey Eric...
Where have you been?
I miss your posts....really...
Come back!!! I want you back!!
Un beso grande!!

Carlos P. "cashe18" said...

Hey, wouldn't it have been easier just to type I don't agree with the church, then to be contiversial add the line "And everyone should own a midget"

Love ya (In a straight way)